How many times have you heard or said the statement above? A million or more? Many people call this cupcake phase or honeymoon syndrome. However, the theory behind this is you are a half and out there somewhere there is another half that is perrrffffeeecctt for me and when we hook up life is going to be great. That’s all I need is someone else to make me happy.
At this point you are probably agreeing with me in one way or another, yet another part of you is waiting for the bashing. Okay what am I doing wrong? Why are you insinuating my mystical fantasy of an equal or better half being out there and coming to me, is nothing more than a dream?
Let’s squash the past event where anyone told you that it is silly to exp ect a healthy loving relationship. I am not insinuating anything I want you to read it again? Yes, pause now and read it again. Okay did you read it? How did you feel after each sentence? Were those loaded statements or questions? Yes and No.
After each sentence how did you feel? After cupcake or honeymoon phase, at first, did you feel excited and all warm and fuzzy inside? Most do, however, the emotion following the statement ( meaning it has two sides to it) didn’t feel so good? Why? Because if it is true what goes up must come down then directly after that, is going to be bad. Right? So we begin by expecting the worst after an alloted amount of time.
Yes, life is easily compared to a frequency…yes there are waves up/ down of emotions. However, you can change the roller coaster to feel good the majority of the time. It takes a little practice and a bit of mind tricks, but once you feel the amazing emotions that follow, you will enjoy trying these simple little steps because it begins to be fun.
The truth is when attending therapy you will find that each individual must develop themselves, sometimes before working on the couple as a unit. The answer is not waiting on the right person to make you whole but rather know what you LIKE ABOUT YOU, so you can attract someone who enhances the real you.
I realize that’s a great deal to take in. So let me show you what I mean. I don’t care if you are in a relationship or you are looking for that perfect someone take a min. try this then come back to it later and try again.
1. Write down words that bring you joy. No not about someone else’s likes or dislikes just about you! Mine would begin with: swimming, water, sex, bicycling, sunshine, writing, music. (You get the idea).
2. Next write words you like in either who you are dating, married or searching for. Make sure it has a feel good emotional attachment. Example: music, partying, socializing, working out ect…anything that makes you smile.
I understand that he or she has hurt you and they should have to pay for your broken heart. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship this is siblings, lovers, parents, if you continually focus on their negativity, you will continue to receive negative and unpleasant results. What you RESIST PERSIST. They will continue to find fault in you and you will do the same.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about them transfer those thoughts to something you like about them. It can be physical or emotioal. Once you get started you won’t want to quit!
Have fun, be happy and expect only the best for all situation concerning you. You are worthy of being loved, loving others, and having a life full of Sunshine and Lollipops. Enjoy!