As I sit and weep like a mother holding her sweet infant for the first time, I realize it is not because I am sad! In fact my tears that have melted the makeup off of my face, are out of pure happiness, joy, bliss and amazement!
Today, was my first photo shoot since BK! (Before Kids). It wasn’t fancy or for a glamorous modeling gig. However, I knew it had to be done.
I had tried to take some selfies, that was a disaster! So I did it.
You may still be wondering why I am crying. It surely was not because I had to have a photo shoot for my business/webpage.
Noo not at all! I am just grateful to be alive. I love this life and today as we scanned through the pictures, I laughed outloud! The photographer said, “You look beautiful! When you talk about your company, you glow! Then you smile and it becomes contagious.”
My thoughts were,”OMG I have so many things I could point out about this picture and they are not oh wow how amazing you look!”
Next, I came home began working on some loose ends, to ensure we are on target to begin advertising. Then I plopped down to take a glimpse of my photos. (You probably already know, but everything is electronic now. I wonder when pictures are going to become so digital/HD, they show when someone is letting off a big ole flatulent!)
What happened next was astonishing, to say the least. I opened up the first special she did, with Livelove underneath of me and I began to cry. First one tear, then another until it was a stream pouring down my face.
Why? You ask. To be honest…because I am ALIVE! I am alive I can feel pain, emotions, tears pouring down my face. Yes, I continue to struggle with criticizing myself, but I think that is an on going practice to improve our self image. It takes skill and stubbornness to argue with yourself. It also takes baby steps to achieve a complete understanding of just how special our lives are! I am in awe of life and living. I feel grateful for all the beautiful people that have been flowing into my life. Teaching, supporting, comforting and loving me. Who are you or what are you grateful for, right now? Feel how incredible it feels to remember those people, places or events that you feel grateful for! Doesn’t the very thought of it bring you relief and a sense of aweeeee?
Live for today, tomorrow may never come. As my grandma always said, “That is a dumb statement because tomorrow never comes, it’s always today.”
Once again if you are in a valley, right now. Hold on, breathe easy, look up the best is yet to come. This moment will pass, choose for the next moment to get a little better, easier to handle, easier to believe in living again.