Monthly Archives: December 2017

suicide? Suicide? SUICIDE?

This picture is on a house boat with Darion Drake and Matt Reed, when they were little. Although his memory will always live on, his physical form was taken from us. Why? Because he couldn’t see a better way! Isn’t it time we show others, there is always a choice. A choice to live. If life feels ‘too much’, pause, breathe and hold on…THIS TOO WILL PASS!

I will never ever forget the moment, I received this crazy phone call! “Teena, Matt has killed himself!”

I rubbed my eyes, cleared my throat and asked,”What? Did you say Suicide?”

“Yes, he is gone!”

(This is not a posting to upset anyone, but it needs to be written!)

I woke Eric up and we both broke down and began to sob. Heart broken, angry, hurt and deeply saddened were just a few emotions, we were experiencing.

You see this was extremely unexpected, because Mathew had been through this exact same horrific experience, with his older brother. He was a teenager and it happened right before his birthday. So you can imagine why we never thought Matt was capable of repeating the event.

However, sadly he did! Leaving his sister, mother and nephew with voids, never to be filled.

Let me tell you about Mathew Reed!

He had a spirit of LIVING! He loved cars, helping others, his family (especially his wonderful nephew). He was a ball of energy. Always willing to lend a helping hand and he could make you laugh until you peed your pants!

At his visitation, I heard the same thing over and over again. “Why? He was such a great person. Why?”

I wish I could answer such a simple question, as to why? But I can’t. Instead, I want to illuminate his life and hopefully help someone else. As I write, in almost ALL of my postings, NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE PAST! I, nor you can reverse what has been done. Yes, you can receive strength to carry on, but once any act or deed is done, it is done.

However, I do believe, my loving Mathew Reed and I can help someone. Someone who is hurting, contemplating and feels stuck.

You see IF we could have stopped this, Matt would probably be preparing for a fun filled night of hanging with his friends. Texting me at midnight to just wish me Happy New Years and laughing about all the crud he has been through. However, none of those events can or will happen.

Sad? Yes! Change it? No πŸ˜”!

Learn from him? Definitely 😎!!

If Matt could speak to you right now he would say, “Hold on. Pause. Breathe Deeply. And LIVE ON!”

It’s okay to feel…anyway you want to feel. But please continue to remember, ‘This too will pass.’

I love you Mathew Reed and will continue to send out your message.

God Bless

Please, I beg of you, help me to help others. Tell someone today, that no matter what, it’s going to be okay. It will work out and this to will PASS!





Last day of 2017?

It’s that time of year to reflect, plan, and carry on. As I look back over this past year, I feel like the past 365 days have been 365 years. Have you ever had a year like that?

The first four months I focused on moment by moment and one step, literally, at a time. The next few months were filled with Senior Spring Break, graduation and more transformations.

Although this year has seemed long in some ways, it’s difficult to believe it is over. And yet, it is the last official day of 2017.

What do you do with special days like today? Hopefully, you take time to write all your past accomplishments, this year. Check off the accomplished goals and set some new journeys/goals for 2018.

When you focus on all the ‘good’ you have in your life, it illuminates you and lifts you up, to be in line for more good.

One of my favorite rituals is to scan through ALL of my pictures for the year. On my phone, Facebook or anywhere else I can find ‘snap shots’ of the year.

The most important action you can take today, is being grateful. Yes, as you review over the past, there will be some irritating conversations or events, but if you will tilt your head a different direction, a new perspective will appear.

In other words life isn’t meant to be perfect. However, those imperfections are what assist us in enjoying the Awesomeness of Living! So yes, skim over the low frequency times, remember them (for now), to learn, but don’t try to fix anything from then. IT CAN’T BE FIXED OR CHANGED.

When you stumble across an event that really hurts or bothers you, remind yourself, “I can not change the past. Therefore, I am only going to focus on today and my future.”

Listen up!! If you find yourself down and out…Pause, hold tight this too will pass. I promise, even if it hurts really bad today, tomorrow will be brighter. Look for the good in all situations.

God Bless!





Merry Christmas…

I recently wrote an article entitled, A Simple Message, about the one common strand ‘meaning’ of the holiday season. Which I have found that common strand is LOVE! Whether you celebrate Christmas or not.

Which continues to be the true meaning of the season, for me. However, the story of Christmas is one of the sweetest and most miraculous stories of all.

As I anxiously, await for my children to come barreling in my room and wake me up, I close my eyes and attempt to imagine the birthday of baby Jesus. (Yes, I know my children are all adults, but my babies they will forever be!)

Just think doing your regular duties and a big bright star shines super bright. Angels appear throughout the night, gifts were brought and a beautiful baby boy is born. His story has been told in many languages and is celebrated in a multitude of places.

The season is about love, but Christmas to me will always be about thanking God for sending this world a baby, baby Jesus. His message has always been strong, his story illuminates love, peace and strength.

Let me ask you something? Do you think they were always strong? Do you believe that Mary and Joseph knew HOW they were going to make it? No, the answer is no! They had no idea how they were going to do this. Nor where. They endured a great deal and yet they survived and went on to leave a Legacy.

As you celebrate Christmas…think about the sweet story of the birth of Jesus and the Love he brought to this world. However, also think of the entire story and how much and how many people were affected.

I don’t believe is was all lollipops and rainbows for the shepherds, Inn Keeper, Wise Men or Mary and Joseph. They were in a rough environment and in today’s society the family would be considered less fortunate. However, they had all they needed! A sweet baby boy who would change the world forever!

If you are in a bad spot or down and out this Christmas. Please pause, then try to remember a happy time in your past. Maybe an old tradition or just get out your Bible and read the sweetest story ever. I don’t know how, but I do know what! Merry Christmas my friend, you are loved, no matter what!

God Loves you


Jesus does too!

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Jesus, we will try to exemplify your meaning and Love, Love, Love one another!




Email me if you would like to start the year off with, two free weeks of Happy Coaching.

Here I go again!

Picture this, I am without makeup, hair is up in a messy bun, still in my pajamas and have only had one cup of coffee. That cup is the only evidence of me even being out of bed…THE ENTIRE DAY! So What? I will tell you so what, I should be off to the shower, getting dressed and attempted to look productive. BUT NOOOO…I am sneaking back to my computer to write, just one more. One more inspirational thought to share. One more description so intense, you are entranced to continue to read, follow, like and share, all in one fell swoop. Why? Why do I choose to write it? Why? Why can’t I be like everyone else and just video blog it? I guess in time. However, for now my large audience of six readers, sixty one followers and forty likes, I dramatically, thank you for reading and liking what I post! No, really I do appreciate you…All of you, even the yesterday you or the day before, that you too.

Sounds strange doesn’t it? For me to write, bizarelly, about appreciating someone each day, as if they were a different person each day! However, does it not seem strange for people to act, speak, or share how well they know you, yet haven’t spoken to you in, lets say, five years. Or maybe five months, what about a lifetime, only know them according to a form of media!

I don’t know why this message is becoming so strong. However, judgement of others is one of those ‘biggies’ some of us, all deal with, at one time or another. For some reason someone needs to read this message.

Listen up! I don’t care who you are. If you are one of my family members, an enemy (hope I don’t have any or if anything, I hope they will forgive me), the pope, a famous artist, young, old, religous or not…it doesn’t matter ‘who’ you are; Β You are a different person than who you were last year. And thank goodness for it! I would never want to return to a more niave me or a less lived me. That one who might have not thought before she spoke or acted. The one who was not as well seasoned. The one who thought so many trivial things were important like competition or winning.

If you are continuously being ‘reminded’ of who you once were and you don’t like it, then YOU, LET IT GO! Some how change gears! In your mind. If you are known as inconsiderate and pompous and do not like that astigma, begin to act and feel as though, a person who is considerate and humble. I am sure you have had someone in your life that exemplified those qualities. I know as I wrote the curriculum for Livelove (still writing, but so close!) I would think back about my heros. Not everyone else’s heros and not my mom, who is always the number one hero, for me. But Heros who were talked about or ‘judged’ in a powerful, yet, positive kind of way!

Think about it…Pause, who are you patterning off of? Everyone patterns off of someone!! The difference is some of us recognize, who we want to pattern off of and choose to study them, their lives, and how they are portrayed. Maybe, you are reading this and you are saying, “I am a Christian and my hero is Jesus.”

Which is perfectly fine with me! Because the more I study leaders, the more I see those who stand for love, protection, kindess and abundance, are the ones who withstand time. My simple question is why do you live with so much judgement? On yourself and others…Want to live like someone as great as Jesus? Better do some research, because his love for all of mankind and what he stands for is… NOT JUDGEMENT! NOPE, I HAVE LOOKED, ITS NOT IN THERE.

Wow! I have had a weird week! One post about politics, now this about religion, oh and don’t forget the other ‘hot topics’ about depression and dejavus! I am just the messenger. I promise my disclaimer will say, judge me not for the message I bring, but rather enjoy the blessings of reading and learning.

You are okay! You are amazing! Please let go of the judgement and the harsh judgements will let go of you! You do deserve to live to be happy.

God Bless!

Written by: Momma Teena




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Ever had dejavu over and over again? Supposedly it means you have already lived that scenario, scene or conversation before. But isn’t it funny how we always stop and say, “Change it up! I don’t know why, but I am having a dejavu and I don’t like it.”

Have you ever asked why wouldn’t you want to relive it? Does everything from your past hurt you? Probably not. But it is human nature to fear the unknown. (Many of us stop the dejavu not because we have any idea the end result, but we are pretty sure we just want to move forward).

That’s what my day has been like is DEJAVU all day! I finally just stopped, sat down and began typing. You see I don’t want to dwell of what has been. I love my life and although, I have had a miraculous journey and healing over the past year, I am truly excited for the ‘next’ exciting portion of my life.

However, I guess sometimes a dejavu can be valuable.

For example: I began my morning a little later than normal. I felt a little depressed today. I wrote about it, felt better. Then it hit me…the repeat of a day one year ago. No it is not December 8th, one year from my mis-step, nor is it a rememorable day after my long ride home, to recoup and heal.

The only thing I can think, is it is Thursday, before our company party. Which is the day of the week, I tumbled to my life changing fate.

My dejavu throughout the day has been numerous. Last year, I was a little freaked out and depressed. Because of a long list of decisions I had made and I was losing sight of why. However, I was having a terrific morning that day and I had told everyone, how much I loved them before disappearing for about 6 months. (No, I didn’t go anywhere, but for 3 or 4 months the porch light was on, but no one was home. And for about 6 months or more I was a bundle of nerves).

However, for some reason I have had more dejavu or reflections than ever before. Some are reliving the before and immediate after. Yet other moments I have been cherishing all that I have learned and how I am not afraid any longer, to be me.

Different, spiritual, divinely gifted, happy, not perfect, dreamer, motivator, funny, kwirky, little ME!!!

I am no different than anyone else, I continue to shake all over and explain to someone, how they need to change the subject, it is a dejavu!

However, this dejavu I have decided to change, instead I am allowing my happy continuation! I am no longer looking for my happy ending. I am now living my happy journey. Yes, even those unexpected steps that take you by surprise, I don’t care to ever relive that step, but I am grateful for the plunge!

If you are having a Dejavu reoccur, pause, peek into it and see if you have a delicious learning opportunity to explore. Don’t linger, it’s not that you want to relive it, because not all of the events were pleasing. Simply, pause.

Next, return to this time, moment and allow your gratefulness to take over. Begin to list even the slightest Great things you have done or experienced today, yesterday or last year!

You deserve the best. Live for today. Yes, set a desire or goal and begin to move towards it. However, don’t become stuck in a ‘Dejavu’ Live the journey, take a side step, or a path least resistance. You got this! Enjoy your life!

Written by: Momma Teena




Depressed? Don’t know why?

First, let me apologize for yesterday’s odd post about politics! I normally do not talk about that because, to be honest, it isn’t a ‘good feeling’ conversation. I realize sometimes those discussions must happen, but do not worry it won’t be a hot topic on this blog, unless it is advice, that all of us can use πŸ˜„.

Ever have those days that you wake up and BAM!! It hits you like a ton of bricks! That sick feeling of (inhale then exhale) depression! Life could be just terrific, but to you it would be much simpler to return to bed, curl up under the covers, close your eyes and forget anything ever existed.

Congratulations! You are human!!! Did you know the most famous of famous and rich of rich, have all felt this way, at one time or another.

As I watched, listened and rewound to hear again the stories of the past 75 years of the Golden Globes, last night, I realized something. Everyone on this Earth has those days. As the cinematography experts, plugged in the ‘wrap it up’ segment of the show, I watched as many exclaimed how hard they persevered to come to this point and they weren’t stopping until they were done!

You know what? That’s why they were there, receiving that award! Because they didn’t say, “How? Or I am not good enough.”

Instead they said, “What and I am good enough, I am BETTER than good enough!”

I will admit I cried through the entire show, reflecting on the monumental times. The times when groups of entertainers, utilized their talents to make the world a brighter place.

Funny thing is, I woke up feeling a little depressed today. As I meditated, prayed and began again, the naggy feeling wouldn’t go away. So I explored why?

Skip this next paragraph if you have NOT been diagnosed clinically depressed…

(Before I explain any further, this is my disclaimer…If you have been diagnosed clinically depressed and have a prescription, continue working with your doctor and CONTINUE to take your meds! I know you immediatly want to argue with me because you hate taking meds, but trust me I know what I am talking about. It is okay you can still enjoy this journey and learn from my writings, classes and or celebrations and YES, I hope someday your doctor says, “You are completely healed” However, until then please continue your regimen. I have some new ones with my leg that ,grrrr, sometimes irritate me too, but it is for my healing, so I continue!)

Why would anyone, with all that I have and how blessed I am, ever be depressed? I asked myself. I have felt down times when something energy shattering has happened. That is a normal sadness…losing a loved one, focusing on lack of, feeling inadequate, you know, the normal sadness or depressed emotions throughout life.

So WHY do we, who have everything and are enjoying life, to its fullest, have these times, where you just want to go back to bed?

Of course, I had to look up the definition of depression…

Is it just me or do both of those definitions combine together to mean…Less Than?

Wow! Yes, depression means less than. Which makes a great deal of sense, even clinically diagnosed, have less than or too much of something which is to the extreme, creating an emotion of ‘less than.’

Hmmmm, could it be a depressed emotional state is as simple as allowing the mind to remember what you have lacked and how less than you are now.

This becomes more and more intriguing to me. If I woke up a bit depressed today, enough to say, “I just don’t feel good today.”

What ‘lack’ am I focused on? I am improving daily, have very few true worries, my family is wonderful and becoming more and more extraordinary by the day.

I figured mine out! Have you figured out yours?

At first I was planning on sharing my ‘conclusion’ as to why in the world I would be depressed! However, I am allowing you to have your own reason. This allows you to NOT have my experience to compare to. Whether your reason is a better reason or not. Because, pssst…your reason is good enough!

Whatever, it is you feel less than about, right now, I want you to go to a mirror and say, “I love you! You are enough and I love you, I love you, I love you! Go ahead! If you are at a crappy job, with a mean and degrading partner, or you are beating yourself up…it doesn’t matter at this moment, excuse yourself, for a minute and say to you, “I love you and I accept you!”

It works! It resets, the ‘lack’ that is deep rooted in your subconscious, to enough and acceptance.

Depressed? Don’t know why? Now you know why. Not saying a little down time, every now and again, isn’t necessary because it most definetly is! However, the sooner you can stop those emotions the better! So begin today…I love myself, I accept and appreciate me! Over and over.

When and if someone is degrading you begin to hum hum hum 🎢🎢🎢🎡🎢🎡 I love and accept myself!!! La di da…I appreciate me 🎢🎢🎢🎡🎢🎡.

Allow the beautiful words to be what you hear rather than the vomit, coming out of theirs. If you are beating yourself up because of lack, STOP.

You nor anyone else can change what has been. No one! Now decide, can I proceed in this environment, reliving the past or accusing myself of lack, for the rest of my life? Psssst, I will tell you a secret, If you want to be happy you must focus on abundance and leave the ‘lack of’ in the past!

So am I still depressed? No, just grateful for the emotion to explore and share!

(This is where we want to do a Seminar on Happiness, next year, let me know what you think?)

Listen…πŸ‘‚you are capable of abundance in life…love, financial and spiritual! You do deserve the best for you and in turn your best will be the best for everyone.

God Bless

My greatest hope…is if you are struggling with depression, you will search for where you feel less than and begin to accept you can’t change the past, so look ahead look up and feel abundant.




Ohhhhh inspired writing…

Although I love these moments, I sometimes worry that I should be doing something more constructive. 😞 oh well, this is where I am at this time.

Anywhooooo, back to my inspirational thought, a little funny a little not.

With all of the turmoil around our government, I would love to wave a magic wand, over ALL the politicians, while in session. What would I do?

Freeze them all, for a moment. Then have little helpers put ski masks on everyone, provide each one with a hot pink jump suit, to completely cover their clothing and last but definetly not least…I would move them to random sections of the room.

Next, I would provide each one with a set of instructions in their hands, simple, yet to the point. (Don’t feel afraid, it’s a simple activity that might, just might, WAKE UP OUR LEADERS).

The instructions will say:

Forget your name

Forget your party

Forget your paradigm

Forget your previous opinion & thoughts

Now sit in this strange spot






Wakeup politicians and parties! Yes, I mean ALL OF YOU! If you still look at people and proudly say, “I am a Republican and/or a Democrat.”

You my friend are part of the problem.

It’s one thing to have a strong belief, it’s another as to support a group of people due to their affiliation, alone.

No, I do not expect a system that actually began in 1787, to become perfected with such a simple task nor overnight.

However, I do expect our new generation of politicians and citizens to begin to evolve, to a higher level. I realize our system must have balance and checks. Parties are labels based on a belief of several. However, I fear we have lost the meaning behind WHY?

Why are you so passionate about claiming your party? Is it because your mean Uncle was a Democrat and you don’t want to be like him? Or is it because your parents told you too? Do you know what they stand for?

I am not the one to ask if you ever want me to be ‘Politically Correct.’ But to be human, kind, caring and understanding, those labels I can uphold.

Then what is my point?

The truth is, I don’t know! That’s why it is called inspired writing. I guess you need to create your own opinion and do with what you will.

However, I will continue to imagine a beautiful scene where I wave my magic wand and pause Capitol Hill, for just a moment! And while I am rearranging the many great leaders we have (to allow them to vote like a human on our behalf), I hope I would have enough time to PAUSE!

Pause, and stare into their eyes, push the wrinkles back a bit, adjust the corners of their mouths to point upwards. And peer into their, unnamed being, only to see them as grandparents playing, moms or dads laughing or as a spouse hugging their loved one.

I will not believe that any of our elected officials began this journey out of greed or to destroy our great country. But I do believe many if not all, need a time to pause and reflect on why, who and what they stand for!

America, we are amazing, unique, the land of opportunity and much more. Always have been and always will be. No matter what, throughout time our historical paradigm will be the Strong and the Brave! Even in down times, we have proven time and time again we will stand strong for this Great Nation!

I do believe we can be the change. Yes, things seem to be a mess, but with a little twist in OUR perspectives good change will appear. How? Hmmmm, I will leave that up to you, I provided you with the vision it’s your turn to imagine it. Just ensure, your change is being kind and understanding.


Yes, of course Livelove will create a ‘Happy’ Class for the White House! Debbie Crawford is up for it!

Just email me and we will help you political leaders, feel alive, happy and/or ‘human’ again.

God Bless

If you enjoyed this inspired writing, follow me, share it, or don’t just enjoy!