Category Archives: grief

When it doesn’t fit, do you continue to wear it?

When you go to the closet and pick up a pair of pants, that do not fit any longer, do you continue to wear them? If you do attempt to ‘make do’ does it become disastrous?

At one time, I worried about being too fat, not good enough and was terribly unsatisfied with the way my clothes fit. I decided to become dedicated to the cause. I worked out and felt terrific. I reached my goals and felt pretty good about myself.

However, I had this one pair of pants! They were my favorite pair. Black silky material, elastic waist, balloon pant legs which created an illusion, I was wearing a long evening gown, but they were functional. I would tell the kids they were my ‘Fancy Pants.’ I truly did love this pair of pants.

Therefore I continued to wear them. Who cared, if they were five sizes too big. No one else knew, just me. As I daydream back to the day I remember my honey bunny saying, “When are you going to get rid of those pants?! They are hanging off of you and if you aren’t careful they will fall down in front of your class!”

What did he know about fashion? I didn’t pay any attention to his nonsense. I arrived at work early and whistled as I walked into the front door. “Good Morning, Ms. Connie,” I cheerfully said as I scooted past her office, in my flowy pants.

The day went wonderful. All of my lessons were going as planned and life couldn’t be better. My planning time came and it was time for lunch. As I nonchalantly danced by the office I heard a deep, male voice call out my name, “Mrs. Drake?”

I jumped a bit and then I heard, “We need your help in the office.”

As much as I wanted to play sick and run back to my classroom, I didn’t. I never wanted to upset Ms. Connie, she is the best.

Turns out she had left due to a family emergency and I was the only ‘warm body’ who could fill in, at least until after my planning period. Which might I add, it was always a short planning time, until today! This day seemed like forty-five minutes was forty-five days.

Of course I quickly found myself sitting in ‘THE CHAIR’ the one where all the phone calls come in, the parents, grandparents, step parents, sick kids, medicated students, vomiting teachers, and last but not freaking least the INTERCOM SYSTEM! I may seem a bit dramatic, but the office manager, in my opinion, has the most difficult job of any in the school system.

The first parent arrived within five minutes of me sitting down. She said in a meek little voice and shaky hands, “Yes, my daughter is in 6th grade and she left her book bag at home. Soooo I wanted to bring it to her…”

I quickly interrupted in a flustered voice, “What? Who did you say? You are going to have to speak up and what class is she in?”

Oh for goodness sakes that one took me fifteen minutes. Including that ordeal, I had four teachers, one cafeteria assistant calling me and the outside calls, were rolling over to an email, faster than I could answer.

It was my last five minutes and a dad buzzes at the door. I let him in, he requested to pick up his son in 6th grade. Most organized human I had dealt with in the past forty minutes. He knew which class at the correct time and spoke up. Pleased with my survival skills through the past few events…I smile really big and I politely say, “Thank you for being so organized and I will call your son up at this time.” (I almost sounded like a robot).

I call the classroom, no he is not in there. Hmmm maybe this dad made a mistake. This continues on for a couple of times. I am now using the intercom and telephone when he yells out, “OH I am so sorry, I forgot he is in seventh grade, he is in math!”

He yelled so loud I fell back into the roller chair, that I had been attempting to spin back and forth in, to accomplish more, in a shorter amount of time. When I fell I zoomed backwards towards Ms. Connie’s desk and quickly spun around, placing my elbows on the desk and hands under my chin. “I am sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?”

He repeated it in a much calmer and embarrassed voice, “My son is in the seventh grade, I am so sorry…”

As he continued to apologize I had become a little smirky and to be blunt I was ticked off. I spun around to turn my back to this man, whom I was upset with. Placed both feet firmly on the ground…pushed my behind up using both hands and my body.

AND…as fast as I stood up, my pants came plummeting down. Yes, down to my knees! My bare behind was there for this man and whoever else wanted to see! I quickly plopped back down, as I gasped for air! Not only were they down, the bottom of my right pant leg was tightly wound around the wheel. I wasn’t going anywhere.

I remember I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and the man, he turned around and walked out in the hall. Probably to laugh so hard he had to pee his pants! Mr. Genton heard me laughing hysterically, as I grabbed my stomach and bent over to attempt and free my pants leg! Of course he helped the father find his son and all he could say between his tears of hysterical laughing, was, “Why do you wear pants that are clearly to big?”

I hope you are now laughing too! This is absolutely a true story. I guess now most of you know why, when someone suggests me working in an office, I laugh and politely decline.

You see, not only were my pants too big, but I was attempting to fill even greater shoes.

Are you doing the same thing in life? Are you continuing to wear the old YOU, who doesn’t fit anymore? It isn’t about the size, it’s about the fit. Isn’t it time you find your own shoes to fill? And if you are hanging on to those old clothes, ask yourself, “Do I want to return to this person or am I okay with brand new and a better fit?”

If the world is continually rotating that means there is never a stagnant moment. Meaning CHANGE is inevitable.

Sometimes we hold ourselves to ‘way back then’ so long, we forget to experience the now and forever more. When you fit in your own skin, life feels pretty TERRIFIC!




Carry on!

I am so excited about this great adventure. I would love for you to come along and see all the beautiful stops we are making along the way! If you need a little umf in your life e-mail me at

A New Service for you: Angel Card Readings they are fun and always enlightening. Of course we continue to offer workshops and Happy Coaching.

The most important part of our business is assisting you in finding your happiness!


Mango and Life

Mango is a delicious fruit, filled with juicy sweetness to burst into your mouth a refreshing, satisfying taste. Life is a delicious journey with juicy, fun adventures to create similar emotions. But have you ever attempted to cut a Mango in half?

As I approached the beautiful fruit, my mind imagined the sweet flavor of the yellowish juicy fruit with some yummy cottage cheese. Combining the two to create one of the most wonderful dishes ever to be experienced. My taste buds were tingling as I reflected back to our visit with mom and dad (Drake), in Kauai.

We would gather Papayas from Ray’s garden, gently slice it open, long ways to gently scoop out the seeds, replace them with a scoop of cottage cheese and Wala! The best breakfast ever imaginable!

Pause…did you know that Papaya seeds are much easier to slice than a mango seed? I was not prepared for my next adventure. In my mind, I thought the two fruits were so similar that as I began inching my way around the Mango, I realized this is not the same situation!

First I created a fine line all the way around. Repeated the motion as I pierced the knife a little deeper into the fruit. Until I came to a point where my knife was not going any deeper. Without realizing the severity of the strong casing holding the Mango seed, I began to gouge at the center. As my fury escalated I felt my fingers squishing the outside (best) portion of the fruit. Juices are now streaming down my fingers attempting to reach my elbows. I am furious with this stupid seed. I peel back the skin portion, pause to lick my fingers, in order to get a better grip. Continuing to tug, stab and rip at the outer casing of the seed. I finally have one half of the fruit in one piece on my plate.

I felt satisfied, but the emotion of satisfaction only lasted for a fleeting moment. Although I was pleased to have something similar to my favorite breakfast in Hawaii; my attention was quickly diverted back to the stubborn casing around the seed.

Instead of enjoying the fruit with the cottage cheese created as beautiful as, I DESIRED! I…picked up the other half, which was still plagued with this white fiber-like casing, which holds the seed and begin to dig.

At this point, I am determined to remove all parts of this PIT! I begin to gently slice around the underneath of it. I carefully lift it up only to find there are still some attached. I begin to surgically cut more restraints to accomplish the task. My focus is fixed on the removal of the entire middle.

Not to save the delicious fruit, no that is not of any concern to me. Finally! TA DAAAA!!! I am holding the seed in my hand, along with its white fiber-like casing. Yes, I feel AMAZING! Thank you! Thank you very much!

Continuing to feel accomplished I take pictures, create a short video which I have included and begin to eat my breakfast. Only to have my attention diverted once again.


My thoughts were, “Why did I have to remove this ugly, not enjoyable seed with its outside covering? None of this is the sweet portion or what I started out desiring when I began creating this dish.”

Next, I began to pick at my dish, I had actually created. “This isn’t like the Papaya. I don’t know if I like this. I am bummed. All that work and for what?”

My solution became simple, I just took a long way around to find it. In the end I cut the fruit into chunks and mixed it in with the cottage cheese. It was not the same taste, but its differences illuminated and isolated a different, yet equal flavor.

Does everyone else do this? Do you squeeze the sweetness out because you are obsessed with the pit? I didn’t plan to write about my breakfast, but the evolvement has been savory!

As I compare life to a mango…I wonder how many sweet-savory moments have I celebrated for only a moment because I was so obsessed with the flavorless pit or downfall. I was overtaken by the what ifs. So I had to delve in deeper and deeper until I found the root of all answers. The seed! The who, what, when, where and how this delicious fruit can to be so MAGNIFICENT! Instead of just enjoying the fruit. (I get it! Do you?)

But did I have to dig deeper and deeper to enjoy the fruit? No, I didn’t have to see, touch or taste the pit to know it wasn’t the best portion.

Are you digging for the seed? Or are you enjoying the fruit?




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Don’t Quit…Change Your Vocabulary!

As I wrap up my first book for Livelove’s ‘Happy’ Curriculum, I have moments where I want to quit. The questions run through my head like a hamster trapped on an exercise wheel. Is this worth my time? What makes you think YOU can accomplish your goals? What are your objectives? Maybe I should quit and get a J-O-B. As you can tell it is mostly negative vocabulary.
During my twelve and fourteen hour days of writing, I am amazed at how I do not want to stop, Eric usually has to insist I close my computer down.

If I am super happy while writing then why do I question my ability? Last night the answer to this question and all the other ‘stinkin thinkin’ thoughts or questions came to me like a shooting star. I needed to change my vocabulary! (Zig Ziglar)

I am super excited to share this bit of information with you. This post will be different than most. Today we practice!


Begin to listen to what you say…
About yourself
Your dreams
Anytime you say something that is not positive or good, stop yourself and change ONE Vocabulary word you used…For example:
Next, begin to create your ideal situation in your mind…
I am a terrific author.
I help a lot of people.
I feel amazing!

Dwell on things that create a feeling of AWE! I am okay. As you continue to divert the words that come out of your mouth and negative thoughts, you will begin to feel like a rose bud about to open her petals to create a beautiful flower.
Next, try this experiment:

Write down words that make you feel good, they do not have to be connected to your work or goals, simply write words. My list:
ocean breeze

Now read one word at a time, then close your eyes and FEEL the word. If you have a partner have them read the words aloud while you sit and feel each word.
When you have completed this activity the happy emotions will continue until YOU decide to add in resistance.

Don’t take my word for it, Try it!

It doesn’t always take an entire self-help book to reroute the trajectory of your life, sometimes you only need to change your vocabulary!




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Do you wake up happy?

How do you wake up every morning? Are you constantly sleeping through the alarm, yelling at your children to get ready? By the time you arrive at work, are you ready for a break? You might be sufferering from a simple issue Livelove likes to call, the what-if-itis.

You are probably not sleeping well, if all the what ifs or whatifitis is filling your mind. However, this is not conducive to a good nights sleep or a ‘happy’ morning. Not to mention the rest of your life.

The suffix itis is defined as a disease characterized by inflammation. Such as arthritis, tendinitis, bronchitis and of course whatifitis. ( Affects of this disease or inflammation of creating whatif scenarios are swelling of the brain, which leads to inflammation of the heart, stomache and anything else you feel a bit of pain from, upon waking up.

If the above paragraphs resonate with you, we have some quick and easy tips to help. These tricks will assist you with sleeping peacefully and learn to wake up ‘happy’.

Let us begin with the evening before. Thirty minutes before you lay your head down,,,

  • Turn off or put away all electronics.
  • Write down anything you are worrying about. (children, ballgames, work, anything that is weighing heavy on youd mind)
  • Fold the paper in half, on the back write– Whatever will be, will be best for me.
  • Next leave all your worries on the kitchen table, written down. I promise they will still be there in the morning. However, after a goodnights sleep, they will not be as prominent, as they would be if you contemplated them all night.
  • As you lay down begin to list everything you are grateful for.
    • I love my bed
    • Grateful to be laying down in a home with controlled temperatures
    • Grateful for food
    • Grateful for my health
  • Make this fun…you can be grateful for silly items, sleep, your hair, ect…it doesn’t matter what you are grateful for, keep listing.
  • Last but definetly not least…As you lay your head to rest and close your eyes take a few minutes to congratulate and compliment yourself. (This step comes easier with time, you will eventually find reasons to pat yourself on the back, but at first it feels a little uncomfortable)

I have even congratulated myself for not losing my temper. Or for gritting my teeth and holding my toungue, when someone said something that ticked me off. Be light hearted, no matter what, YOU, have accomplished something terrific today! Even if it was getting out of bed and feeding your pets.

As for the waking up part, this procedure is much simplier when healing from whatifitis. Before you climbed out of bed, begin the same procedure of listing all the simple pleasures, you are grateful for. This doesn’t need to be as lengthy as your night time list.

While you are preparing for the day find a saying to uplift and create a happy emotion. This sets your day with a vibration of, YES I CAN.

Here are some I have utilized throughout my time of whatifitis, everyone suffers from this inflammation, at times in their lives. The most important part is it doesn’t last for weeks on end.

  • Whatever will be, is best for me.
  • I think I can, I think I can…I know I can, I know I can. (Yes, it is from the Little Engine that Could)
  • Mirror talks…You are amazing, You are worthy, You, my friend, are awesome!
  • My favorite saying is, “I feel terrific!” This is a quote I learned from Brian Tracy, personal development guru. When faced with adversity, even in the midst of it, I will say, “I feel Terrific!” It feels wonderful. Resets your entire demeanor.
  • Try it, right now…while reading this say, “I feel Terrific!” Do again and again, until you feel better. It works everytime.

Do you wake up happy? If you are waking up stressed and miserable, maybe it is time for you to shut down, unplug and have an attitude with gratitude! Life can be fun, expect the best and the rest will take care of itself.

God Bless! Do you wake up happy?




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When adversity appears what do you do?

As I prepare for my first experience as Toastmaster, I feel nervous and a bit anxious. The speaking roles are not nearly as scary as being the Organized Leader of the meeting. Eek! 😩

I keep telling myself, Breathe…it will be okay.

That is why I am writing, is to ask your opinion. I have set the theme for this week as, “When faced with adversity, what do you do?”

Because everyone experiences adversity in life, it is not a popular discussion, but is a common thread throughout all of mankind.

In a world where leaders, political views, sexual harassment and diversity has a strong presence, overshadowing our similarities and love…What can we do?

What do you do when someone judges, threatens, or violates you? How do you handle these reoccurring ‘life’ events?

Let me know. How do you cope, when you come face to face with adversity?

Help us, learn from you. Leave a comment below or email me at


There is no greater or less than, when it comes to you…

As ‘life’ seems to happen around us, many people like to compare stories or talk about the issues. However, there is no comparisons between your story and theirs.

Of course we are all connected and as humans, we can all FEEL empathy or sympathy depending on our similar incidents.

But…everyone has moments of being depressed, sad, hurt, lost and disappointed. I can remember the day, my son explained that pointing out all the reasons someone should be grateful, isn’t always the best feeling emotion for someone suffering. I questioned why or why not, it always seemed to work for me. Highlighting all the reasons I should be grateful, how blessed I am and so on.

Nick explained how sometimes those comments are more detrimental to the person.

That was several years ago and to be completely honest, I didn’t truly understand.

Now, I do!

You see we ALL have moments where life feels overwhelming, too much and disappointing. Those who their stories, are well known and inspire others, but also you and me.

As I wrote and rewrote my speech for the area contest @Earlybirdstoastmasterskc, the days seemed to be zooming by. Closer and closer, my excitement was building and the anticipation of all the exciting opportunities, this club has to offer, was assisting me in working up the best message, I had ever written! Ohhh, if you could only feel my radiating excitement.

Yet, day by day in LA we had to jump one hurdle and then twenty five more or maybe a hundred more! (Okay I am being a bit over dramatic, as Ashby says).

But it is true. I could whine and cry about every little speed bump thrown in front of us, but where would we be then? Instead let me share what I have learned.

This week I had to let go of my first speech competition. It was to be on Monday February 5th. There were no guarantees I would move on to the next level, because our club has intense competition, but I wanted to attempt it, in the worst kind of way!

I had prepared and practiced the entire road trip from Kansas to LA.

As the hurdles popped up, some one at a time, others it seemed like fifty at a time, I began to realize my excitement was about to he turned into disappointment! With all the issues about having Princeton, I quickly realized my trip would be delayed, forcing me to step down from the competition.

Now this may seem silly to anyone else, but I cried and cried! I was disappointed, sad, overwhelmed and a little bit selfish. Most of all I was torn! This was my baby girl and very dear to me granddog. But I also wanted to attempt this competition!

Then my lessons began!!! Everytime I would express my disappointing emotions someone would share on Facebook or tell me about a horrific event. For example in the past month we have lost loved ones to accidents, cancer, flu and suicides. I would cry for them or add to my prayer list.

Yes, my silly little issues seemed trivial after all of that. I have so much to be grateful for, I know that.

Then I realized Nick was correct. Pointing out or minimizing our own disappointments, by comparison, is not fair, to you.

My epiphany was EVERYONE, experiences their own depression and disappointments. And YOURS is just as important as the next one. Because we are all on our own journey and life happens whether we are striving to improve or not.

And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE…this is a key to helping others choose to feel all the emotions, yet not give up.

The key is to allow yourself to feel the negative emotion. Express your feelings of disappointment. (Allow this moment). Do not worry about feeling trivial compared to other people’s issues. I am Not saying dwell on it and/or illuminate the situation, but rather, ALLOW yourself to have a moment of tears.

It is okay!!! There is no greater and less than, when it comes to you and how you feel. Maybe if we begin to allow kids and adults to say, “I feel like giving up.”

We will have less severely depressed or suicides. When I was having a moment of ‘selfish disappointments’ it felt good to allow the sadness, for a moment. It forced me to find solutions, it allowed me to be human, and it reminded me how quickly ANYONE can give up.

It is time we begin to allow our younger generations to know we have all been there. We have all had struggles and let it out. All of it! Say it if you feel it. It’s okay.

No matter how trivial it may be to others. Your disappointments, moments of sadness or maybe your losses are not comparable to others! You are allowed to say it because believe it or not… EVERYONE experiences negative emotions.

My greatest hope is…this post will help one person to choose life. If you are not feeling so well about something, say it! And quit worrying about comparing apples, arangatans, and kale spinach. This is YOUR EXPERIENCE! No one elses!





‘How to’ Continued…

To be continued…The emotions of defeat, despair and fear creeped in at times. Even up until December 8th, 2016. The day I crushed my leg and sat in a meditative state for several months. At that point in my life, I had turned in my resignation at the school and was following my dream! I had a published a much needed, non-fiction book, about talking to your kids, about sex. Once again, I was beaming with happiness.

However, shortly after my adventure began, I was placed into park! What? Come on, I was almost there. I could touch my dream of being a, monetary rewarded writer or what we entitle it as, a paid author. But nope, not yet. My patience had worn quite thin.

As I meditated,  went to physical therapy, slept a great deal, I learned and learned from avenues unimaginable. Instead of being like, I had been in the past, who was running around chasing her dreams with furry and might; I filled notebook after notebook with thoughts or ideas. Sometimes I spent hours writing a fiction story filled, with drama and comedy all rolled up in one.

My exploration of me, was out of this world. I do not wish for anyone to experience my pain, but to experience the reflection and exploration, now that would be awesome!

If I had so many down times, then why do I feel ‘good’ enough to write a ‘How to’ article? Because it took all those ups, downs, lefts and rights, to bring me to this point. The point where we ask HOW? About everything. During an age when people have more faith and trust in “Okay Google…” than we do in ourselves.

You see, it took all of those micro-stories for me to explain ‘how to’ be a writer, explorer, artisit, happy, appreciative, grateful, expressive, full of love and living like never before.

The one most important key is…Are you ready?


Yes, that is my answer and I am sticking to it!

As I reflect back to my first request to write for our small town newspaper and the editor replied with, “What experience do you have?”

I bowed my head and said, “None!” (Don’t be like me and waste years because of one ignorant person, questioning your ability).

After many let downs, my next move, towards becoming a writer, was when a new editor came in, I began working with him. Not writing for him, but yet having students write for him. Until, one day, I asked, “Would you let me write for you?”

My strongest desire was to write! And second was to motivationally speak at events, on television, and don’t forget my biggest dream (still pursuing) to be a guest host on Jimmy Falon.

It was a dream come true to receive my first, monetary reward, for my writings! Opening up a whole new world, for me. It didn’t matter how great or small of an amount it was, I had reached and accomplished, one long term, goal and it felt terrific!

Be careful, playing the whiney, making excuses, person and repeating, “I have already tried eveything and it doesn’t work,” bit. No it won’t work. If you continue in this mind set, you will always be, exactly where you are now. I promise.

If you want it bad enough and continue to stay in the mind-set of growth and, “I KNOW I CAN!” It will most definetly happen.


Now do you see why my answer is, to BEGIN? Because although I had several let downs or bumps in the road, my results were as expected. I went to the starting line and took the first step. I have taken many slides backwards. I have fallen, been bruised, bumped and taken to the level of not seeing my way out, but I only stayed in the valley, for a little while.

Life is a frequency, not maybe or can be compared to, it is a frequency. (I do not want to bore you with the details of the electromagnetic spectrum and energy, yada, yada, yada (so please trust me). Life is a frequency. And you are in control of the intensity. Meaning if you are focusing and sending energy towards what you desire, then you probably feel pretty good, at this point. However, if you were like me and focusing on the lack of, you probably feel terrible.

I love being a writer! It is what I love to do and yes, I receive monetary rewards for my writings. Funny thing is, the reason for my certainty, is the entisity of my desire to complete this ‘How to’. The entire time I feel exhilarated. Supper is not started nor planned, phone is on silent and my Writing Palace is becoming dark, as the sun sets.

One of my best confirmations, that I was on the correct path for me, was when I was at my worst and money was not involved, I chose to write! And write, and write!

Find which ‘how to’ you would do without any reward and begin. I promise it will never feel like work and there will be times, when you feel a little bit guilty, because you are so darn happy, whisteling while you work. While everyone around you can only talk about their hectic lives and stress levels.

Yes, everyone must earn a living. I understand this. But why not reap the rewards by doing what you love? I loved teaching! I loved being a clown! I continue to love teaching! I love writing!

I know it sometimes feels impossible, to reach your dreams, but you can do it. I can remember when I didn’t think graduation from college was a possibility, but I did it. I had the desire to be known as a wonderful author, I am on my way! All because the first step was taken. It may not have been a smooth, easy road, but every bump, valley and hilltop have been fantastic! Looking back, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

Recap…How to be a writer? Do it! Begin at the starting line. Grab a notebook, pen or pencil and write your emotions, words, poems don’t worry about the combination of words. The rest of the story will be history, I promise. You will begin to be presented with new opportunities.

As for agents, managers, publishing, and blogging…follow your instincts. I will tell you, WordPress has been an amazing company, to have a blog and if you do not have a blog site, get one. It will change your writing life.

Don’t allow one comment to hender you or a rejection to stop you from continuing on. Instead of thinking you weren’t good enough for them, turn it around and think wow they weren’t right for me. Then move on. Maybe self-publishing is better for you, explore all of your options, but all of this is irrelevant, if you do not begin!

‘How to’ be anything else or have do or be anything…Doesn’t matter what…You must begin. Not one successful person, woke up one day and was magically, deliciously, abundant in love or money. However, they continued to pursue, push and play with their hopes and desires, until the frequency became so intense it happened. Their goals were completed, to allow new ones. Their vision came to fruition because they continued to clearly feel how terrific it felt! They learned from the journey, while jumping every hurdle with a smile. But still yet, none of this could have been reality for them, unless they took the first step and BEGAN!

God Bless




If you would like for Teena Drake to be a guest motivator or speaker, at your event please email us at: or

You are amazing and I hope this post helps you to forget the exact path of How and rather to take the first step at begin. May all your dreams come true!