Category Archives: grief

More recent Thanksgiving Past…

As most of you know Eric and I went to Hawaii to see mom and dad as well as, celebrate our twenty fifth anniversary. What you may not know is it was their forty ninth Wedding Anniversary on November 2nd! It was awesome. Therefore, Eric and I, took them out to eat for a special dining experience, on the ocean to celebrate.

Betty and I got all dressed up in our aloha dresses, adorned our beautiful outfits with Jewlry, by none other than Beautiful Bling by Betty. We were the cats meow!

As we drove up to the restaurant the torches were lit and the dancing fire illuminated the walk way, to a ambiance for love and romance. Ocean breeze, family and friends. Both our heads were spinning. Stop! Selfie time. I took a group photo with my handy dandy selfie stick. I really think we were floating on a cloud of happy emotions, to the extreme that we began reminiscing about times past, that we were all together and how wonderful it was.

Now let me stop right here! Don’t take me the wrong way, we all had a wonderful, fabulous, delicious dinner that night on November 2nd, 2017. But read on and see if you can see why I blame the ‘ambiance’ of this romantic evening on the stupidity, Betty and myself were about to begin and continue.

As we told our friends, who were joining us, about the different family gathering memories, we had. Everyone could feel the flucuations of happiness then the wave of, just a smidge, of sadness. (Not because we were unhappy now, but sometimes it is sad when so many traditions have changed).

That’s when it happened. I had one martini and I don’t know which one of us spoke up first, but one of, Betty or I, said, “We should have an old fashion Thanksgiving dinner. Mmmm all that good food, Uncle Ben’s Wild Rice, gravy, broccoli casserole. That is it.! Let’s do it!”

We both so eagerly shook our heads in an accepting manner of how ‘good’ of girls and wives, as we truly are! Almost as if all of the grand things we have done for our families, came down to the most memorable times.

The guys attempted to talk us out of this grandious, hair brain scheme of ours. But no, no they weren’t talking us out of it! We were sure this would be a fun time and we were jumping in with both feet first!

As the days and nights went by, we were busy, busy. Hoola class, beach hoping and bike riding. Shopping and enjoying each other’s company. Until, Dum Diddy dum!!!! (Drum roll please) The day for Thanksgiving Dinner had arrived! Gosh has it already been two weeks? Naaaaa surely not!

The best way I can explain the affects of Hawaii is; every inch of your body is JELLO. Worries cross your mind, but flee as quick as they enter. If one thing I know, for sure, is going backwards to ‘The Good Ole Days’ isn’t as much fun as soaking up the sun in our ‘BEST’ days!

At least I felt like that. I was unsure if Betty felt like this so, I rolled out of bed and began to create a list. The entire time I was writing I would write a dish and then write beside it a label…difficult or simple. Which meant I was already back pedaling from all of this ‘traditional’ crud. Yes, it was fun, but it was a great deal of work, especially for Betty and I because we had always been the two who seemed to expect ourselves, to work alot, to please as many as possible.

Now don’t get me wrong, we have always enjoyed our families and have both taken pride in our efforts to open our homes and demonstrate loving hospitality. (Of course she is better at being more hospitable than me, but she is a better cook too, so who cares, I love and accept myself lol).

However, at this point I was pretty sure we were both over the ‘Old Fashion’ Thanksgiving dinner. When she saw my list she began to laugh and laugh. She was like this is alot of work isn’t it?

Many funny epiphanies came to me, during my process, of getting ready and I shared them with Ray and Eric. Both men quickly reminded me,”We tried to talk you both out of this! But nooooo you insisted!”

I stood there similar to a statue, listening to everyone’s chatter. How true were their claims? In all actuality , extremely true! Brutally, honestly, TRUE!

We had done this to ourselves!

Now let me wrap up the story part, before I bring it to full circle!

We had the best visit with mom and dad than ever before. We both truly enjoyed being in their presence and in paradise. Betty and I cooked a Thanksgiving meal ‘traditional’ Drake’s style!

Of course, I assisted, but my dishes fell under the simple or some even bought category. However, we pulled it off! It was the most mouth watering, delicious, fabulous, exquisite meal I have had in quite sometime.

I am grateful for the entire vacation and will cherish the sweet memories throughout our visit.

However, I learned some valuable lessons from the entire dinner ordeal. I feel it’s best to bullet them…

  • You don’t always have to relive a tradition to enjoy the memory.
  • When you are feeling stressed about something almost like a regret, talk to that person, be honest. You never know they may feel the same way.
  • Sometimes what we think makes other people happy, is not real, ask them if it is something they feel emotional about. For example: our husbands could have cared less, what we cooked, they were grateful we cooked at all.
  • When looking back at a memory and it feels all warm and fuzzy enjoy it, but ensure before you say you want to relive it, you remember the entire story.
  • For example: I love my children so much and I must say I enjoyed raising them, but to say I would want to relive it would be ludicrous.
  • Although we were resistant the day of, we readjusted and shopped one day and cooked the next. Allow yourself readjustment time. If it is a bad time in your life pause and allow yourself to rethink and readjust, how you feel. (No this wasn’t a bad time in our life. It was actually funny how great of a time it truly was, but this works if you are having a worse time, than we were).
  • Feel it? Feel just how you feel right now. If you don’t like this feeling, then ask yourself, how do I want to feel?
  • What will bring you closer to that?

Thank you for reading this posting.

I am truly grateful for you! Wish you the best.

Want to host a Happy Coaching Session for your friends? Or maybe a Happy Celebration for your employees…email us

Livelove.teena@gmail.com

Livelove

&

Carryon

Written by: Momma Teena

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Change is inevitable; Self Doubt is a reminder

As we all know change occurs second by second, whether you control the change or simply allow it, now that ‘changes’ EVERYTHING! However, what about self-doubt? What part of self-doubt can assist us in dealing with or controlling the change in our lives?

Could it be that self-doubt is a reminder that you can control how the, inevitable changes, occur in your life.

If we know changes are going to happen, we know everything in our lives, is not going to stick to the plan, why not utilize those ‘not so good’ self doubting, moments to empower you?

How? Simple, recognize that self- doubt is that friend that forces you to think about the worse case scenario. No, I am not an advocate for ‘what ifs’ however, what if, this doubt serves a vital purpose in accomplishing great things or taking the simpler, more paved road and enjoying the ride.

Either or the opportunity to recognize this moment of wallowing in what has been or could be, can be (if you choose) a great asset to your ‘happiness’ tool box.

Next time you experience that moment of OMG! What am I doing? How will I find my path? I can’t do this, I am not good enough! Moments, choose a time to let it go.

For example: You are stepping out on a limb, the limb feels wobbly and you are contemplating what can, will or might happen. You would weigh all the outcomes/options and either set a limit of how far you can go or keep walking and see what happens. Either or you will have change. You will have an outcome. You also chose all of those outcomes!

Set a time frame to poop or get off the pot. If you want to control or learn to enjoy all changes, when self-doubt appears, allow it for a set time or space.

Next, be grateful for the opportunity to weigh all options and MOVE ON. Allow the short-lived negative emotion to propel you into the wonderful, terrific, fabulous life you have always wanted.

I am so excited for us! As I am allowing my life to be utilized as a messenger. A messenger for you and I to live for the best in and of you & me.

I know life has hit you upside the head several times! I know when just arriving in the valley, you struggle with seeing a way to begin climbing to the top, again.

This change has been since the day you were born. When you took that first breath you began adjusting with the changes in environment, how you ate and how you slept.

You have what it takes to live the life you have always wanted. It’s up to you, how long you allow the changes to hit you, like a ton of bricks. Or how you utilize self-doubt. Either or you will have change, you will experience down & out times and only you can decide how to allow self doubt to assist you or hender you.

Livelove

&

Carryon

http://www.livelovellc.org/home

What? When? Where? Why?

What is coming up? Our first Happy Class, ‘Live’ on December 8th, beginning at 7 ending? Whenever you get tired of celebrating life with us or I wear out on you. Either or it is going to be well worth your time and money!

Where? Fountain Building on the corner of Main Street and Broadway, (across the street from The Historical Broadway Restaurant and Hotel, huge pale yellow building).

Why? Are you feeling like there is something better than this?

Maybe as winter sets in, you have become a little depressed.

Maybe you need some answers on how to improve your life and live, ‘Happily Ever After.’

Is it more money? Maybe you need to know how to earn more money and quit that awful pay check to pay check, J.O.B. and do what you love!

Maybe you want to find ‘love’ and you need some new techniques on how to attract that special someone.

What we CAN NOT DO! change, fix, help, bring a new, or bring back the PAST!! In any shape or form I nor can our company or anyone else, bring back or change the past, so if that is what you are looking for well move on!!!

What we CAN DO!! Assist you in creating the life you have always wanted to live. Take F.E.A.R. out of your life equation (for the majority of the time).

Allow you to ask questions and receive answers to the best of our ability about what you, your needs and or desires are.

Assist you in handling ‘stressful’ unwanted, hurtful situations throughout your life. This is not promising everyday full of butterflies and lollipops, but it is promising the majority of your life being filled with BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, BUTTERFLIES and LOLLIPOPS!!!!!

Okay, I am going into overload. Therefore, I am going to stop! However, I don’t think, if you are in Carrolton, Milton, Henry, Oldham, Owen, Franklin, Jefferson Co. Kentucky or Jefferson Co., Madison, Vevay, Clarksville, Indiana OKAY! wherever you are from you won’t want to miss December 8th, 2017 in Madison Indiana!!!! At 7 PM.

No, it is not the full monty of:

http://www.livelovellc.org/home

Only because this is a trial run and IF YOU decide to be a part of this first celebration, you will receive a multitude of benefits and a few gifts to take home with you.

However, you must hurry to register because this is limited seating. We have a few seats left and due to our pricing being the lowest price it will ever be, you need to act fast!

You can register several ways…

1. Email- Livelove.teena@gmail.com and say I need two reservations for December 8th.

2. http://www.livelovellc.org/home click on Celebrations. (If you have trouble with the purchase portion let me know.

3. Contact Kentuckiana News at- info@Kentuckiananews.com title it HAPPY CELEBRATION RESERVATION

4. Contact Charlene Kelley she is in charge of registration. Cke96011@gmail.com

5. Any questions email us we will get back to you asap.

I realized after re-reading this I forgot to include the low price for this amazing opportunity.

It is only twenty five dollars and/or forty per couple! But!!!! If you book between now, November 8th thru the 14th, you can purchase the class for 20.00 dollars! What? Yes, one time only and I PROMISE, it will not be at this price ever again.

Why? Did I drop the price for 7 days? Truthfully, it is because I am on vacation in paradise and I am feeling super sentimental. You see eleven months ago today, my life changed forever! And since then my mission is to help others find their own paradise and if Hawaii is only a dream for you.

I want to help make that a reality! I want to share with you techniques that I have learned to have, do or be anything you desire. If a dream vacation is what you want, we will discuss how. If you have a desire and you are struggling with anything, we can help find your block, let it go and assist you in: Livelove & Carryon!!!

God Bless

Livelove

Sad moments will pass too

As moments or fun times come to an end everyone feels a little bit of a let down. At least I do. After vacation I always have a few moments of- I want to return to no stress, dancing and relaxing. However, I have learned that the closing of one chapter, means an opening to a brand new chapter.

New adventures, new destinations, fun times and the creation of new memories!

I sometimes feel like a broken record when I write over and over again. However, my statements are true. If you will wait just a few moments, this too will pass. When you are sad, take time to ask yourself, “Why am I sad?”

Next, allow yourself to be just that, sad. Not to a level of depression, where all you focus on is the sad state of mind you are in, but rather just a little cry, maybe a snack and a popcorn night. The point is allow yourself to feel the emotional attachment to whatever you are feeling down about.

Buttttttt.. set a time for when you are going to be over it. For example: When my daughter, son and Mark left today, I will admit I cried and felt a little lost for a moment. I have just felt a little bla all day. However, tomorrow morning is a new day!

I have set my time to begin a new day tomorrow. I found something to be excited about. In one week we will be heading to Nashville for a bash for Ashby’s 21. My website is in ffw because Rhian is amazing and many other events are evolving.

Could I continue to be sad and think of what is? Absolutely! I could take this small emotion and let it carry over into multiple days and even weeks or months.

Why? Why would I do that? Why? Why would you do that? I am sure some of you reading this could provide me with a long list of whys, how’s, shoulds, could and woulds.

Please read this carefully! It’s okay how long you choose to grieve, be depressed and focus in what is! However, it’s your responsibility to understand the entire world will not stop for a long time to help you pull yourself back together.

As one of my dear friends, who has buried two of their children, explained, “When you suffer a loss so great, which any loss is great, it’s only you who can decide what to do with your life. If I wanted to remember theirs deaths I would/could. But I chose to focus on their lives and create a life surrounded around doing good for others, in their names.”

Life is short. We all have, days and moments where we feel irritable, angry or simply sad. As Jack Cannefield explains, “Event + Reaction = Outcome.”

Please, as our country appears to have so many negatives and the world seems to have taken a nightmare pill, I beg of you to find the good in all situations and focus your energy on just that. Yes, there is always a time for everything! A time to mourn, a time to laugh, a time to pray and a time for cry. But if you want to be part of the solution and not yet another meaningless contribution to more fear being instilled in us, then begin today! Find the happiness in your heart, in your home, in your world! There is goodness all around you, how? Take time to focus in on the good in all situations. Listen to what you speak, does it illuminate the ‘bad’? Does it provide goodness to anyone? Does it create a happy feeling in your soul? If your last two answers were no, please take this message and utilize it.

Not trying to sound preachy or even demanding, I simply want you to understand how much you really do make a difference. You choose is your impact or legacy involving a positive and happy change in your life as well as those around you? If yes, then hooray, keep up the good vibrations. If not, then if not now? When? You choose!

If you are struggling with anything right now, I want you to know I just sent you a great amount of ‘Happy energy’ , it may feel a bit strange at first, but take the feeling and enjoy! That energy was attached yo this reading, just for you. Feel the cool breeze, feel the refreshing thoughts of feeling terrific. Smile really big and now accept your gift!

The song Ooooooo child things are gonna get easier… continues to play in my head as I read, edit and reread this post. It’s true hang on just a little longer it’s going to get better!!!

God Bless!

Livelove

To my friend in a valley…

You are okay!

Yes! You are okay!

Look up, look up, LOOK UP!

My friend who is looking down…

Look up! Feel the warmth beaming in

The valley is for healing & nurturing

While here, look around & heal

Enjoy your nurturing friends

Bask in the sun like a sleepy cat

Heal, repair and rest

Be grateful for the valley & all it is

Now it is time to LOOK UP!

Your new journey is coming up

Now is your time to plan, heal gather

For the funfilled, scary (at times), road

The road – back up on the crest

Leave your worries in the valley

The nurterers will dispose of them

As you stand up to begin the journey

Inhale & exhale & smile

For it will be fun & as long as

You are following your bliss

Your next valley will not be so deep!

(Notice what punctuation sign is missing?)

All of us will do what we want to do…

When I first heard that statement it was from one of my precious students. Her life, in my eyes, was terrible! She had been in and out of Foster homes, only to end up with family, who were fighting over her and her brother.

I can hear our conversation as clear as if it happened, five minutes ago. We spent several afternoons talking, Sometimes I think she skipped going on field trips because if I wasn’t going she knew we would paint or do some kind a fun lab, where she could research on the computer. Most of the time she would end up coming back to my desk and tell me stories of her horrific past. But never in a devastion manner. It was always the good in almost every situations.

The day she stopped and said, “Mrs. Drake, everyone does what they want to do, they know the possible outcomes and choose what’s best for them.

This was a wrap up from her telling me why she was taken from one of the Foster homes.

As I sat down, tears fell from eyes like a river overflowing, out of her banks. I remember reflecting back through some of her stories.

For example, I asked her, “Why she didn’t tell someone?”

Her response was sharp and she giggled through it which made it a bit comical, she said, “Mrs. Drake when you get a whoopin everytime you opened your mouth, wouldn’t you learn to keep your mouth shut?”

Once again, “We all do what we want to do!”

Good or bad, she was correct. To avoid a whoopin or to avoid a conflict we will always do what we want to do, BUTT! What about in everyday life? Does that statement still apply?

Of course it does! We go to the same old job and hate life creating misery all around us, yet we all do what we want to do! For our good or not so good, we do choose. If you began on a path a long time ago and it abruptly came to an end what would you do you would choose…choose what?

Idk but it will be your choice! And either way if you choose to always see the positive and best, like my friend, your life will continue to improve each day.

If you are in a valley right now, look up. Don’t look down in shame, look up the worst is behind you! You did what you wanted to do! Now you are here and if you will Look Up, you will come out of the valley with great force!

Too powerful of a message to continue…God Bless

LiveloveLLC

When my child is sick…

All of my new writings, vlogs and blogs are from an inspiration I received from a life changing event. However, I will admit I have to ask myself those WHYS????? when one of my babies are sick or feel broken. You know the why’s I am talking about. Why do good parents or any parents have to lose a child either in illness or tragic accident. Why can’t very good ‘parental’ candidates give birth to five, six and sometimes seven children? Yet, two people who love each other with all their hearts and are financially stable can not get pregnant? And my answer is…

I don’t know. All I do know is when my child is sick those questions rerurn. Then I have to stop, pray and meditate. Do I always receive my answers? 99.9% of the time I do, immediatly! That small fraction of time I have to wait a small amount of longer. That’s why I am sharing this message with all of you today. So the next time I write or say something that you wish were true becuase you don’t believe me, when I say your life is meant to live feeling good and having fun. Ready? Here it goes… (I am really nervous and almost sick to my stomach)…

Mourning I understand. However, living in a mourning state or a questioning state of why me? Why mine? Grrrrrr I hate this life ect…is similar to wishing you didn’t have that encounter, child, parent, grandparent, animal ALL PHYSICAL LOSS OF A LOVED ONE HURTS!

However, to not continue to live to be happy while you are here on earth is like saying I wish I didn’t have this experience because the good times did not out weigh the pain I I I I feel, (Yes a strong accent is on I) from losing you.

As I was writing this my good friend called and I took a short break. As I explained what I was about to write about she said, “Teena the best explanation will come out of your message. (Paused) Just remember to include if I die tomorrow and I am happy today then it’s been a good life.”

Please do not criticize or feel agitated with my message. I am going to warn you against reading it in my excerpt. But also right here…Do not read any further if you do not want to hear/read this message. Because I promise it is pure.

To my dear friends who have suffered great hurt, I am sorry, with all of my heart. The strong love we have for one another is absolutely incedible. I know I am a wife, mother, sister, in law, daughter, niece, grand daughter. I have suffered loss and I have questioned the why’s!!! I have felt pain physical, emotional, and all the rest as well. However, that is not my desire or my good feeling vibration. I choose not to allow those precious encounters throughout my life to become a burden, due to my own pain. Instead I choose to live based on the positive, funny, wonderful impression, learning experience, joy and pure ‘happiness’ they have brought to my life. And how dull my very existence would be without having those people/animals in my life.

My grandfather created the love I have for travel. Him and my grandma rode my BMW motorcycle to at least 40 states, if not more. My grandmother taught me songs to always warm my heart, how to can vegetables, so my family would never grow hungry, and how to follow my intuition or as she called it your gut feeling. Of course my most recent loss Matthew Reed took me by a shock. Although I and many others still mourn him today, I always return to his zest for life, his genuine kindness and his funny disposition always comes shining thru. Him finding a solution for every problem like the slide is too dry so to keep from burning your butt pee on it first!! I burst into laughter everytime I write that or look at their picture!

This message isn’t to hurt you, but to free you. And to free them. They love you!!!! But they want you to feel good and be happy!

Fast forward your life no matter what age you are right now. You are now 113! (13 is my favorite number). You ride around with your sparkly golf cart, around the whipper snappers who are 85 and above and you are enjoying life. And you hit a stump fly off your golf cart, hit your head and die. If you have very many desendents left, especially young ones, and they mourned over you year after year, instead of discussing all the funny times you had or great gifts you brought them while they were growing up. Instead it was almost like they wished you never existed because your death is all they can remember. Would you want that? Does that give you a good feeling?

I feel like such a broken record and trust me times like now, I understand the sadness and hurt all of us have endured. However, I must keep telling you over and over feel good right now. Feel inspired today and if you don’t feel inspired then stop and smell the roses or take time to meditate. Catch the feeling good frequency.

God loves you no matter what!!!

Livelove