It was a cool Autumn day. The leaves along the hillside had began to change to their delightful tones of red, yellow, and burnt orange to decorate for the autumn season.
I had drove to town to ‘check’ Sunshine Messages post office box. With little to no expectations of finding a letter. It had been brought to my attention that ‘snail’ mail was considered a thing of the past, so why would I believe anyone would take time to write Sunshine Messages?
As I stood next to the recycling bin tossing one advertisement after the other into a sea of unwanted ‘junk’ mail, something caught my eye! A small, crumpled, letter. It was difficult to read due to the smudged letters on the outside. The address was correct…P.O. Box 173 Milton Ky. 40045. But it was not made out to Sunshine.
Hmmmm, I curiously flipped it back and forth attempting to decide if it was placed in the wrong mail box or if it was indeed a letter for Sunshine?
Leaving the rest of the rubbish behind, the letter went with me! It couldn’t have much in the envelope it was so small. It smelled of cherry cigars & tears. Who was this from? Without a return address, my curiosity was building more and more.
As I carefully opened the crumpled, envelope to read this mysterious note…I found 2 letters. They both had been ripped apart, tapped together, crumpled & tore several times. One, in particular, was extremly difficult to read. As I unfolded the first letter, I had to carefully pull pieces of tape apart in order to open it. It appeared that this letter was held together with tape & prayers.
The handwriting was messy & whoever had written this note must have been in a hurry!
“I am sorry I couldn’t take it anymore, I Love You All So Much. I do not want to hurt you. I am sorry daddy, I cannot be the star quarter back anymore. But know I Love You I really do Love You! I am So Sorry. Love, Tony.
Was this a joke? Who would send this to Sunshine? What do they want? The questions raced through my head!
Laying this note aside, I quickly opened the newer, less stained and damaged letter.
Hoping to find answers, as to why I have this worn, tattered, pieced together, smudged letter that made little sense to me! Who is Tony? And why is his letter in my post office box. The second letter read:
I have read your blog, watched your recordings & I am begging for your HELP!
You see this is my Son’s suicide note! I have wept many times over these worn & tattered pieces of paper. Begging & hoping to turn back time. Wondering how I can forgive myself for being such a terrible father and how I can forgive my son for not talking to me before he did what he did.
You are my last attempt. I have contemplated taking my life several times, even as I write this letter my desperation feels as if it will take me over. I have been put on antidepressants, spoke with countless counselors/psychiatrists, mediums and psychics.
I have a beautiful daughter and wife. However, I know they are growing weary of my depression.
My wife explained, two weeks ago, she had been thinking about leaving me. Not because she does not love me, but rather she cannot stand to see me in such a terrible state of mind and feels she cannot help.
They are the reason I continue to wake up everyday. I would ‘end it all’ if it weren’t for these beautiful ladies in my life. However, I love them so much and I realize how terrible the pain is when you lose someone to Suicide, that I cannot hurt them like that.
A friend of mine requested I try one last attempt to heal. She explained how you had assisted her when she had to say goodbye to her husband 2 years ago.
She told me how you eased her pain by providing her with Sunshine Messages. “If it weren’t for ‘Sunshine’ I wonder how I would have pulled through”, was her comment to reassure me you could help.
Therefore, I am writing to request HELP! In fact I have NEVER let go of his letter as I did to mail it to you. Yes I made a copy. However, this letter is his actual handwriting from the pen he wrote before he…
I am unsure if you can help me. However, I am Desperate! I am at the end of my rope! I do not have anywhere else to turn.
My address is included at the bottom of this note.
Here is what I would like to do. May I write a message to my Son, Tony and you deliver it?
Write back as soon as possible or email me.
Please, please, please do what you can!
Sincerely yours, Charles
I immediatly sat down to write him a quick note, explaining this might be beyond my capabilities. This was a great deal of responsibility and fear had come over me.
For example, what if I couldn’t assist him and he took his life, I would feel terrible. I suggested he call the Suicide Prevention hotline & return to his psychiatric care, immediately. My note was short & sweet, but definitely to the point.
I addressed the envelope and hurried off to return his and his son’s letter. I ensured I would send him good energy and hoped he found his inner peace & forgiveness.
I sent the letter and washed my hands of that.
The following day, the lady. who had sent Charles my way, contacted me. “I hope you do not mind I sent you another person to assist in living his Best Life.”
She explained a bit more about his situation.
Apologetically, I told her how I wrote him back declining the opportunity to assist.
Although she was disappointed, she seemed to understand my decision. (Which was fear talking).
About a week had passed and I heard nothing more. I did wonder if I had made the best decision, I guessed he went on to seek assistance else where. I had already lost a great deal of sleep over his letters therefore, I feel that no news is good news.
Everything was back to ‘normal’ in Sunshine’s world!
Two more weeks had passed. My routine visit to the post office, continued to be standing at the recycling bin disposing of all the ‘junk’ mail!
As I tossed the last four Dish Network advertisements in the recycling bin I turned on my heels and begin to leave. Then I heard a sweet little voice , “Are you Sunshine?”
Funny thing is…I was on the verge of cancelling the post office box and focusing on texting or email. Maybe everyone was right? (I thought to myself) I mean this letter idea is not going to work. No one writes or mails letters anymore. My clientele was growing and everyone seemed to enjoy the text messages/emails, just fine. This P.O. Box was a waste of time…right?
I replied, as I looked up to see who was asking, “Yes, I am Sunshine. Why?”
A young lady in her early teens was standing there, staring at me with her hand outstretched holding a Pink envelope addressed to Sunshine.
“Where did you find that? Did I drop it?” I asked.
“No,” she curtly replied. Continuing to hold the envelope out, as if she was a little put out with me for not taking the letter.
The two seconds of silence were extremly uncomfortable. As I reached out to take the letter, she never seemed to blink or take her eyes off of me. I slowly attempted to take the letter and she pulled it back slightly, tilted her head, inhaled deeply, then in a snide yet calm tone, she asked, “Can you handle this? I helped you the first time because you doubted, but now it is up to you, Sunshine.”
“Okay, I do not know who you are nor do I understand what you are talking about, but if that is addressed to me…please give it to me.”
I took the envelope and as I read who it was addressed to…’Sunshine’, I was saying, “Thank You,” simultaneously.
Our conversation continued as I peered at the envelope with extreme curiosity. I was blabbing about my thoughts, inspecting the color and wondering if this young woman knew who it was from. As I began to ask, “Do you know who…”
I looked up to read her facial expression, attempting to infer her role in delivering this hot pink envelope. And…SHE WAS GONE! POOF! HAD VANISHED IN THIN AIR!
I quickly ran to the door, pushed it open looking for this young lady. I would never forget her expression and how she made me feel so strange. She was kind yet staunch. Cold with a twist of warmth.
Where did she go? Who was this young lady? She was not in the Post Office when I arrived…hmmmm where did she come from?
Startled and confused I left with the Pink envelope in hand! I couldn’t help but continue to look for the messenger. I wondered, where she came from and where she went. I was confused and filled with curiosity. What was she talking about, “Can I handle this and she helped me the first time?”
I have never seen that girl before, in my life! How could she have helped?
Maybe, the contents in this letter will answer some of my questions. As I carefully opened the letter I could smell a strawberry scent coming from the pink lined paper carefully folded and tucked into the nice neat Pink envelope. The letter said,
Thank you so much for my letter. It was if you had already received my letter to my son! I do not know how you did that, but your letter has changed my life! I cannot thank you enough. I hope you will have time to send some more letters. They assist me in forgiving Tony and I can make it through one more day. Thank you from The bottom of my heart, Sunshine! Your friend was correct in saying your messages can be described as magical. My only regret is that I didn’t write you sooner.
You see I have been mourning Tony for five years and until your letter, I have cried myself to sleep night after night, since the day we lost him! I have attempted to hide my sadness, but my daughter, who is now 15, begged for me to get help. She said she misses her daddy and she is beginning to feel hatred towards her brother because of it.
When she said she could hate her brother is when something snapped in my head! Was I actually HATING my son for doing what he did? I knew I Hated myself, but I thought my mourning was because I Loved and missed him so much. I do not want my daughter or myself to hate Tony.
Then, out of complete desperation, I wrote that first letter to you. I did not have any expectations that you would return a response nor if it would help me heal.
I am here to tell you that letter…Changed My Life! I still have a great deal of healing to do and am hoping you will continue to assist me. My daughter has already noticed a difference in me, in this short amount of time.
When she asked what I was ‘doing’ to heal? I replied with enjoying some Sunshine 🌞.
Thank You Sunshine for everything! My letter from my son was the best medicine. (Yes, I know it was from you, but it helped me so much and you even signed it the way he always did! Thank you!).
I have written him another letter and am sending it to you separate from this one. I hope you do not mind, I looked up your favorite color and am sending my letters in that color to ensure they do not become mixed up in the many other letters you receive.
Thank you, once again, for assisting me. I know you are extremly busy and I so appreciate you taking on my case!
One more thing… I made a donation to your PayPal, I do hope it is more than enough.
Thank you, Charles
I read his letter at least twenty times. I was puzzled & confused.
Didn’t I write him a letter explaining how I couldn’t help? Hmmmm…my mind was racing with questions. Who was the young lady? Who is Charles? And how did he receive a letter from his son, yet from Sunshine? I didn’t write it!
The next few days I felt quite intrigued. I went to the post office every day for five days…Nothing! Oh of course there were a few more pieces of junk mail, but definitely not a Pink letter addressed to Sunshine. I had mixed emotions. Some days I hoped a letter would arrive and other days I felt like it was a hoax. Then…
IT HAPPENED! All alone, no advertisements, other letters, nothing was in my PO Box except 1 hot pink envelope addressed to Sunshine!
Instead of smelling like cherry cigars and tears it smelled of strawberries and cream. I quickly retrieved the letter and practically ran to my car.
Recognizing, I should wait to read this at home…I tore it open, in the parking lot and began reading!
It is funny all of my therapist have instructed me to write you letters, but I refused. All this time I focused on your death and my own suffering. I am so sorry! Thank you for forgiving me and knowing how much I Love You!
I wish you didn’t have to go as early as you did, but I now understand a little better of your pain and suffering. I will try to keep my letters on the lighter side, but sometimes I May need to tell you about my sorrow. It seems to be a path to help me heal. I have been so angry with you for the past 5 years that I have missed out a great deal. I will try to do better. I Love You My Son! Thank you for taking the time to write back and letting me know you forgive me, for not being able to help you.
I must admit the young lady, Lindsey, has truly suffered a great deal. She blames herself for breaking up with you and everytime she sees Mom, Jessica or myself tears fill her eyes and she makes a point to hug us and tell us all she loves us.
I wish you would have held on a little longer. You would have recognized that the pain from the break up or from all the other pieces of your life, would pass.
Jeremy took your place as quarter back and he did okay. He is now attending Kansas State. He did not continue playing sports after graduation. However, before EVERY GAME…He would pull the team to huddle and shout over and over, “Win this for Tony!”
The year you passed they didn’t win a single game! But, Senior Year…We won STATE! With a great deal of tears! The team lifted Jeremy up and chanted, “WE WON IT FOR TONY!!!”
Your school counselor included you in her graduation speech and of course, so did the class president & your best friend Damon.
One comment was, “Tony’s body may have passed on, but his Great Big Happy Spirit guided us through to this day. Our final page the day we all spread our wings and fly. We hope you are smiling down on us and that we made you proud.”
Oh, how I have missed you! I am so sorry you regretted it the second after you pulled that trigger. I know how you feel, I have regretted many things the second you thought it was okay to leave us!
I will never ‘move on’ or forget you my Son! However, I do hope for more peace & understanding, especially now that I have your letter. And hope for many more to arrive.
Until next time, know that I Love You to the Moon & Back. I Love You for all eternity! I simply wish I could turn back time.
Love with All of My Heart, Daddy!
At this point I can only infer what Tony had replied back with. How did this happen? What could or how could I have possibly sent a letter from his deceased son.
My mind could not calm down. I questioned everything. Yes, I Loved Providing Sunshine Messages, but did I lack the confidence neccessary to continue this? Hmmmm…my uncertainty turned into anxiety and I needed to pause for a mindful moment.
As I layed on my yoga mat and attempted to focus on my breath, I continued to see the young lady firmly holding ‘my letter’. And then her smirk on her face as she acted like I was irritating her! Her words swirled in my head, “Can you handle this?”
Who does she think she is? Questioning me? Who are you? And what if I cannot handle this?
My mindful moment was becoming a gripe session from all the events of the day. I tossed and turned until I slipped off into a afternoon nap.
Of course, my dreams included letters, request, snide remarks, people all swirling around and mixing together.
One message that seemed to stand out was, “Write him back.”
But the who did not seem to matter! I heard the message again and my response was extremely loud as I sat up, abruptly ending my nap, and shouted, “Write WHO?”
I sat at my writing station, grabbed an ink pen and began to write. To who? No one. I simply wrote words that came to me. Some made sense others did not. I simply continued to listen to my mind…Happy that I communicate some love enjoy little laugh more never put a period no ending just beginnings journeys with you I journey with you alot ventures tough I am help yes healing forgive all allow happy love your guy Tony
I read it 100 times. I questioned do I send this to Charles? It doesn’t even make sense. I mean I guess it does a little bit, but not really. Maybe I should edit it? Nope, that answer was clear. What did I do? I addressed the envelope to Charles I took a trip to the post office and I mailed it!
When Charles received the letter he immediatly emailed me…”Thank You, Sunshine!”
To be Continued: if you would like to read more of ‘Tony’s Letters’ Stay tuned because we are releasing this story one surprise at a time!
Livelove & Carry On!
Written by: Teena/Sunshine Drake!
As the Sun peeks over the hillside, I catch myself, holding my breath to express the awareness of nature! To hear the soft inhale of a Momma bird, waking to begin her morning song! Or a crow squawking almost as if she says, “Wake Up! Wake Up! You do not want to miss this, the Sunrise is going to be exceptionally beautiful this morning (she says the same thing every morning, but isn’t it true every Sunrise is spectacular).
The eldest momma cat is sitting at my feet, as soon the sun has illuminated the area & I am in plain site! She says, “Meow, hello I would like some food now. Isn’t it breakfast time?”
My writing becomes interrupted once again!
Shew, let me begin once again. Hello, I am Sunshine. I have many gifts which I share on a daily basis!
HOLD ON!!! How the heck, do we do this introduction thingy, without it being so robotic and awkward? Do you know? Let me see if this would be better…
Hellow, My Name Is SUNSHINE! I am so pleased to meet you!
Words quickly escape me as I am given another opportunity to introduce myself.
No, I am not kidding, I froze! As I attempted to type anything else, nothing would happen. (ADHD strikes again Lmao!)
At first, I desired to say, “I AM SO EXCITED! THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE! GOSH, I FEEL LIKE SPEAKING SUPER FAST AND LOUD SO YOU WILL NOT STOP READING!
Then, I felt bold & wanted to say, “YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!”
What? I mean how many of you would have thrown your device (hee hee she said device) down, when I first wrote YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND! Nor, would I want that responsibility! I cannot make your dreams come true!
Hmmmm or can I?
Hello, I am Sweet, Sometimes Innocent, Gullable, Kind, Fun, Energetic, Writer, Law of attractioner, assistance of others trying to Live Life to the Fullest! And teacher of how to LIVE- EVERYDAY TO THE FULLEST, LOVE- WITH ALL YOUR HEART, and Be Happy 95% of the time.
Hmmmmm, I might keep the above one! It is as close as I can get to an actual introduction & label/title.
How do YOU do this awkward thing of introducing yourself? I mean how do you say, “Hello? I am interested in incorporating you into my desired life?
Isn’t it true? You are saying, Hello, my name is and next, depending on your current circumstances, you are saying , “I would like to get to know YOU, I would like for you to enter into my ‘desired’ life?
Let me see if I can ask this a little differently.
Would you walk up to a Country Club or in a gated community and ask someone to be your friend or go on a date or whatever, maybe even simply introduce yourself, if you were homeless, broken, & broke?
No! Therefore, you would stick with the lifestyle of your desire and only ‘introduce’ yourself to what? Either way, rich or poor, to what? Other people who have the same desired lifestyle.
What? You want to argue with me that they ‘desired or created’ a particular lifestyle or financial status? Guess what? They did and so DO YOU!
If you are continuing to hang out by the fire barrel in the bottoms & talk about your next ‘fix’ or what he or she did to you…then you are choosing a desired lifestyle of the same people who you are conversing with and ABOUT!
The same goes for Living the Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous…yes I agree, financial status does not determine a person’s character, but it is a desired lifestyle. Whether it was inherentance or someone built a team and created a desired lifestyle either way, it is a choice.
Now, let me introduce myself! Hello, My Name is Sunshine!
I work with my writer and speaker Teena. My purpose is to share with the world a BETTER! A better perspective. A better life. A better choice. I utilize many gifts to assist others. The ultimate goal is to bring you what you keep asking for.
I can assist you with recognizing all the ‘Whys’ you have and will have in your life.
By seeking my assistance you will learn how to Live Life HAPPY 95% of the time. I reduced it by 4 percent because through research I have found that the majority of humans become happy 99% of the time & then they actually miss the turmoil. It is like an even flow. Therefore, I am rephrasing that statement, “I can assist you in attracting the happiness YOU DESIRE! How much or how little!”
Now that we have been properly introduced, here is how you can receive the ‘messages’ you desire. Or should I say the ‘answers’ or heck, maybe you need to learn how to forgive, let go, earn more money, live life in a different light, see a different perspective, overcome the act of Suicide, Learn how to believe in yourself, fall in LOVE 💖 or get rid of some negative energy…SHEW! ORRRR learn how to introduce the REAL YOU and see your desired life, with like minded people in it! Wouldn’t that be fantastic?
Then follow these steps, in any order, Lol.
Yes, it is what you are reading this on.
For Personalized Readings- email me at Teena.Drake@gmail.com
Or write your request to Sunshine Messages
P.O. Box 173 Milton Ky. 40045
Have Teena & Sunshine come speak at your company end of the year celebration, your club, church, or any other organization.
The results are phenomenal! Such as: Growth in ‘good’ team members, revenue, and all around environment.
Email: Teena,Drake@gmail.com Or Message Me: Teena Drake Or Sunshine Messages on Facebook or instagram.
How do you pay for services? This is the craziest idea, but until December 1st 2019 I will provide personal messages for donations. You see, I have this thought that once you receive a message you will desire to ‘donate’.
As for being LIVE, we will negotiate this payment. It is determined on size of group and details of your event.
I am so happy to have this opportunity to introduce myself & offer my assistance!
You are AMAZING!!! I am looking forward to assisting you!
Oh I ALMOST FORGOT! Stay Tuned,,,because now that we have been Formally Introduced… NEW & Improved Blog and website is coming UP! You will not want to miss this!
Next Series: Letters from the OTHER SIDE!
Details: Whether you Love fantasy, fiction, or nonfiction it does not matter Letters from the Other Side will assist you by making you laugh, cry, question, and much more. These letters are a collection of written letters from the other side. For example, a young man committed suicide and what his letter said and what it would say now. Or on a lighter note, one letter is from a sweet little girl who lost her human body to cancer and she writes to her mommy & daddy. Another one, is from a father to his son who is asking for forgiveness for not being so wonderful in life.
You will Love it! No matter what Genre it falls under. In fact, I am choosing to place it under Fiction. This is for YOU! If it is labeled fiction your mind cannot interrupt because we accept anything under fiction/fantasy genre. 😁💖⚘🌹😍💪!
Stay Tuned!!! My excitement will not let me stop typing!!!
Make Donations (after December 1st 2019 set amounts will be in place) Electronically:
Or send a certified check to PO Box 173 Milton Ky. 40045
Once you have fallen in love with my series of writings & gifts to share,,, would you please do a few things for me? Follow me on YouTube Teena Drake, follow me on all the long list of Social Media, you get the idea! BUT one silly request…send everything you LOVE to Jimmy Falon!
Yes, Jimmy Falon. You see I want to be asked to be a guest on his show and I believe in asking for help…so here it is send it to any of your media friends Good Morning America, Kelly Clarkson Show, IDC who…BUT PLEASE SEND IT TO JIMMY FALON LATE NIGHT SHOW! Lololol it’s a dream I have and I know if I assist you, you will desire to assist me!
Oh MY! Thank You for reading! I am HONORED to share with you!!!
LiveLove & CarryOn!
Wrttien by: Sunshine/Teena Drake
Youtube: Teena Drake
Press on the link above, when the link YouTube appears tap it, the video will begin to play!
Today, is all about expectations. Do you hold people to a behavior 1, 5, or 20 years? Or maybe an entire lifetime.
Don’t get me wrong, some people have traits that always seem to show up good or bad. However, what you expect of them will always be highlighted.
Therefore, if you have low expectations of someone or yourself the only way to heal & allow change is to EXPECT something different.
Try it! Even try this for your self expectation! You will be amazed at how your subconscious will rearrange to adapt to your own EXPECTATIONS!
Instead of repeating I need to ‘lose’ weight state I am so healthy & happy and I know my body is shaping up to be even better!
It is not a trick! This is real! Hypnotherapist have been utilizing this technique for many years and with positive results.
But do not take my word for it…Try it for yourself!
I hope this video finds you happy. If not I wish for happiness to come your way!
If life feels a bit overwhelming…inhale/exhale deeply and know THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
You got this!!! I am cheering you on!
Written & recorded by: Teena Drake
Why do we feel guilty for…the tears we weep? Or the feelings we feel? Our flaws? Sensuality? Sexuality? Labels? Titles? Tell me, will someone please, I so beg of you…tell me, WHY DO WE FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING ALIVE? Or HUMAN?
How did we forget? This journey is and always has been a GIFT! A beautiful gift to be explored to FEEL!
FEEL the tears drench your cheeks, almost as to cleanse the soul to illuminate all possible and most pleasant solutions. Embrace your flaws as blessings to explore how strong you really are! Allow the erotic moments to swift you away into the sensual gardens of feeling the physical body. Choose the labels & titles of roles only your heart desires to experience.
If guilt is necessary in your life lessons… feel it, understand it, and release it to move out of your life. To allow you to live this journey as the GIFT it Truly IS!
Written by: Teena Drake
I am glad to be back…my life journey has taken me on a roller coaster. Filled with twist, turns, & loopty loops! But I remember, I woke up & I am back! Thank you for reading!
As I lay in bed & listen to the world wake up, I wonder… does anyone else ponder their life, decisions, and circumstances over & over again. Or do others simply go through the motions without feeling the emotions?
The cool breeze uplifts the seeds forcing them to dance & swirl in the morning sun. And as enjoyable as nature is, I ponder once more…what force pushes me or us to frolic & be gay?
Is it our rockets of desire? Love? Or is the chase to possess riches? Or is it a salvation of a time, after life, we are working towards. Which is the force to push, pull, or even lead us to LIVE?
I ask? I pray? Hmmmm…I ponder.
Yes, I said take a nap! It is true. I have studied Great Scientist & they all say the same thing. “Take a Nap!”
Why would taking a nap create more money, discoveries, beautiful writings among many other life tasks?
I remember yelling at my honey after about three months of being cooped up, “Don’t tell me to take another nap! If I ever get out of this chair I will NEVER TAKE ANOTHER NAP!”
However, two years later…I grab a nap anytime I can. Not too long, a simple 30 min. Cat nap. Why? Because I am more productive. My body is rejuvenated and my brain is clear.
It is true! As I began the healing process I slept a great deal. I noticed as the solemn ride came to an end, I didn’t need as long of naps, but a reset, cat nap, has become essential.
As life becomes helter skelter, if we do not take time to breathe. When we become scattered is when our actions become reactions.
Therefore, the next time you feel like a puzzle in a million pieces, my best advice is to set your timer & take a nap. A siesta, whatever you want to call it. Find a place to close your eyes, concentrate on your breathing, & relax…15 minutes is plenty, but if you can squeeze 30 in, you will feel like a million dollars!
Happy Positive Productivity…enjoy your zzzzzzs.
Welcome to my newest adventure. My daughter told me not to ramble lol…I rambled.
My friends told me to cut it short…its kind of long.
My family doesn’t know what to say. Therefore, they continue to support me. Lol
The truth is my greatest wish is these ‘talks’ either inspire, entertain, or motivate you! Yes, YOU to Live like it is your last, Love with all your heart & soul…& when life gets tough to keep on keeping on. Livelove & Carry On!
I can’t promise you perfection but I can promise you HOPE! HOPE, for a better DAY & Hope In knowing NO MATTER WHAT…This too shall pass.
Sunshine Message & MuuMuu talk with Teena
Sending you great love & even more laughter!
It is now afternoon on December the 7th, 2018. I have done everything to avoid writing this blog post. I mean EVERYTHING from clean the dishes, take a short nap, meditate, I even worked out to STOP this post from being written. However, no matter what…it is what, it is and this heartfelt, deep, writing is much-needed.
Before I write any more, I must ask for your spiritual uplifting thoughts. For me as well as for you. This will be a posting that is like none other, I have ever written, but it is from the depths of my Valleys that I dare to share this story. My intentions are to inspire, encourage, motivate, and uplift you to live a full life. Not a humdrum life, but rather a spirit filled and led life. One of forgiveness, understanding, contribution, and LOVE above all else. If you will do everything in life including speak, teach, and be with LOVE in the center of your intentions, You will always LIVE and KNOW that you are loved, even in the darkest of valleys. For my part in your reality, I love you, I am so sorry, Please Forgive Me and Thank YOU! Thank YOU!
One year ago, I hosted my very first Happy Celebration! I spent the money to have food, a venue, invites, the entire ‘EVENT’ to celebrate the opening of my company Livelove LLC. I had great intentions, but as the flu reports rose and the snow began to blow, we were sure very few people would be venturing out. However, my friends, mom, and one man…did show. Therefore, the show must go on! I gave a shortened version of my speech/ seminar and the man who was ‘just passing thru’ stayed. After he enjoyed some snacks and listened intently he said, “You are on to something! Keep on telling this story. LOOK & SEARCH for people to tell your message to.”
I did not know this man it was our first encounter. He had a sweet spirit and was extremely encouraging. Later on my co-worker explained his circumstances and I dismissed the entire event.
Until, today! I actually thought of this man two other times, throughout the year. Once was at a local pub, my husband and I visited one time, since we were back in town and the following day.
You see this man’s words rang through my head the entire year. I would hear his almost appearing to be a plead, he would say, “Don’t quit sending out this message, you are on to something!”
When I mentioned seeing him out and about to my colleague, I was told some very sad news. This man had decided, planned, & completed SUICIDE! I began to weep as soon as I heard!
Yes, I wept for the loss of another life. I wept for his family, children, and friends. But just as you are reading this and relating it to your own life, I was doing the same! I wept for my life! I wept in gratefulness that I didn’t follow through with my contemplations. During my deepest darkest valleys, I too could have been another statistic. Another lost soul, begging to find a BETTER FEELING.
I can remember after my accident going to sleep at night and wishing to not wake up only to think the next morning how darn thankful… I did. I still cannot share with you all of my deepest valley times because my strength and new vibrations are focused on shining brighter. However, I can tell you I have been at my lowest…with a plan, process & all. Yet, I am so grateful I am a survivor! If you feel weak, depressed, and alone hold on tight to a happier color, a fun song or even a small compliment. You cannot imagine how many people who really do love you and I promise, “This feeling will PASS!”
You are important to someone. I PROMISE! This particular man lost hope like so many others I know. And the truth is they themselves did not complete the act out of spite to hurt you, their loved ones. In fact, the complete opposite is true. Many survivors will tell you they did not go through with it because they feared of hurting others. Not the other way around. That means that people who completed the act, simply felt like your life was better off without them. And still, afterwards, they do not want you to feel guilty or avenge their legacy. Instead, finding your own happiness is what they desire most. Ensuring that you NEVER FEEL LESS THAN is their greatest wish.
Fast Forward from a year ago and today. This year has been a blur to me. It has been full of changes, loopty loops, and flip arounds. As I reflect on 2018 many emotions have occurred, all beneficial. Sunshine Messages came about, close to the time the man I mentioned before, passed away. And today they serve many people. Whether they are struggling with Suicidal thoughts or dealing with other ‘life’ events. Sometimes they serve only to brighten someone’s day.
Many people ask me what Sunshine Messages are and where they come from and my shortest version of an answer is, “As I lay in the bed day after day, I would pray for easement, understanding, & a brighter day. My heart would feel heavy for fear I was not ‘doing’ anything ‘worthwhile.’ I begged for answers. Why? Why did this happen to me? Why have you forsaken me? Was I so BAD that I must endure such torment and pain? What about him, her, or even them…their wretched ways. Yet they are allowed to carry on? Why? Why me?”
My Answer, “Because you know a better way. You understand the light and how to vanish the fright. Because you agreed to be a messenger of hope, happiness, and LIGHT! Because you were born with this gift and you needed to be reminded. Because you are you and now you see, it is time to let your visions FREE!”
My Response, “SO YOU had to break my leg, allow me to suffer, feel defeated, beaten & broken? I was on my KNEES (which hurt even more)! Begging for answers, yet nothing? My anger rises to the sky! MY QUESTIONS are SHARP and FIERCE! Hey HELLO, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME? I AM ONE OF THE GOOD GALS? I am trying to do as you ask, but dag on how much more can I take?”
My Answer, “Not much more, be still, be patient, & LISTEN. Enjoy each person. Enjoy each moment. Only speak from your heart what your true desires are. BE PATIENT!”
My response, “Still here! Waiting!
Me, “Are you there?”
Me, “Am I CRAZY?”
My Answer, “Only in a fun way. LOL. You are Sunshine! You are shinning BRIGHT! When you receive the message act. When you question…pause, be still, & listen. Perfection is not the goal, because it is a label. Rather uplifting, spirit-filled, happiness, and JOY now those are the GOALS!”
FF today, YOUR SUNSHINE MESSAGE, “YOU ARE AMAZING! I am in AWE of YOU! YES, YOU! YOU are just like me, you are chosen to live a life full of joy, laughter, happiness, and love. Ask for what you desire. Live enjoying the blessings no matter how great or small! If you are struggling at this moment…feel the emotion and ask yourself ‘Why do I feel this way?’ I guarantee it is something from the past. Isn’t it time to LET IT GO? Not you or anyone else can reverse the past to assist us with the present! Goodness, everyone would change something if they could, instead think of how you want to feel tomorrow? How do you want to be treated? What does your life look like tonight, tomorrow, or next week? Guess what? That vision will come to fruition. If today is not a good day, hold on tight because tomorrow will be better. Perfect? Define it? If it is unachievable, then by all means, change your vision around until it fits perfectly with you!
If you are like Teena and many others who are Suicide Survivors, take time to be grateful for this moment. Dwell on all the Beauty in your life that you would have missed had that Valley time ‘got you’. You are beautiful! You are AMAZING! YOU need to SHINE! Share your story. Ask someone if they need a little boost. Send out love for others. And take care of yourself too!
Thank you for allowing me to share this message with you! Sending you relief, awareness, understanding, love & a great deal of laughter. Because life is about having fun & DO NOT FORGET THAT!
I attended a seminar about the prevention of Suicide a week ago and I learned so much. However, the most important lesson I have learned is, If you are worried about someone…ASK! Ask the question, “Are you okay? Are you suicidal?”
Sunshine Messages/Teena Drake
As my day became all messed up, YES…MY FAVORITE DAY of the week MONDAY! It began as normal, get up, shower, dress, go to work…you get the idea. Except, I am unlike most people. Monday’s are my FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK! Therefore, I never ‘work’ anywhere or do anything on Mondays that would disrupt my beautiful day of the week!
Today, was no different. My schedule had been a bit altered, but I didn’t mind. I decided to proceed forward with a huge smile on my face.
I played Jingle Bell Rocks at least 20 times, as I choreographed our next dance. I practiced and practiced, but something was not right.
Ever had those moments where you felt like bursting into tears & curling up in fetal position, only to feel sorry for yourself? It is a strange emotion.
As the music roared throughout the house, I pressed pause, to answer my mother’s phone call. We chit chatted for a few minutes and then it happened! (My poor mother, sometimes I know she wonders why she even called lol). I burst into tears and rambled out a bunch of silly crud, that was not true. Not towards her, but about me & my selfish moment. She provided encouraging words, as always.
After I hung up, I sent her a text of apology and appreciation. She always listens to me, even when I sound silly! However, mom didn’t reply. Instead I received a number for our friend who is a Cranial Sacroil Therapist. She told me to call her for my honey bunny.
Please let me interrupt this writing to say, when I received the number and name, my first thought was,”Mother, I am the one who needs direction right now! I am the one who was crying and feeling sorry for myself. But okay, if you are more concerned about ERIC 🤨🙄🤔, then I will call her! Maybe it will get my mind off of all this crud that I cant figure out, anyways!”
Yes, I recognize how selfish that sounded, but I needed for you to understand my mentality, at that moment, for you to see the amazing blessing!!!
I read her short text, pushed the blue highlighted number and called our friend. When she answered I was unsure I had the correct number. I continued to explain how Eric had been sick bla bla bla.
She interrupted me and apologized, but she had been sick for TEN WEEKS! She explained everything and right before we hung up…I spoke up.
“Hey, maybe I can help you! I have a bunch of ‘new’ developed skill sets and I think I can help.”
She paused and said, “When? I need you as soon as possible.”
Now at that moment, my mindset did a 360! I was not the same person I was ten minutes ago. I felt alive, ecstatic, wonderful & terrific. My mind was racing to find all the possible strategies to help this well respected healer and our friend.
We set our time and I am off to meditate! With fulfilled intentions. I am so excited!
My Monday is back & just like that a blessing APPEARS!
You see, we all have down, questioning, weak moments. But in those small moments a blessing will appear! If you simply follow your heart.
I had no idea that this woman of many talents would need me. I had no idea that text would change my mindset in a split second. But even in my weakest moment, I trusted.
Have faith my friends! Have faith that what’s best for you will always be! Have faith in YOU! God LOVES YOU! YES, EVEN YOU & ME.
I pray for you to have many blessings appear.
Happy Monday…enjoy the greatest day of the week. Even if it’s for the simplest of reason…which is, YOU WOKE UP!
Ever need a vibrational reset, message Livelove, we got you covered!
Thank you for reading.
Written by: Teena Drake/ Sunshine