Category Archives: Holidays

Cross-Country, Track and Life?

Do you have a desire? Any desire? Determination to accomplish a task, earn large amounts of money, or win a race?

I can remember assisting my daughter as she first began to run cross-country. We would attempt to walk the courses before the race, to ensure she knew what to expect. However, there were always places we couldn’t reach. Usually those were the spots with an unexpected log, slick spot, or mud hole, you could drown in if you weren’t careful.

Darion would always worry about those detours, I would explain how to slow down and be more cautious, when approaching an unknown portion of the trail.

Although she is an adult and those days are long gone. She continues to push forward and not worry so much about the unknown. But rather enjoy the journey, at her own pace.

When Ashby began to run hurdles I thought, with track the visibility would be easier, creating less stress because they knew what to expect. I was proven wrong, time and time again. Sometimes the clear, concise path was more intimidating because the runners, knew the hurdle was there.

Why was this an issue? Because sometimes knowing what to expect, you continually worry about the hurdles, instead of the finish line.

While coaching runners to cross over to become a hurdler, I learned that many chose the 100 meters race over the 300. For example: one meter hurdles, Ashby was confident because she knew it was for just a short stint. It was not the entire track and was quick and easy (for the most part). As well as, many other athletes, who were more confident in the 100 meter, over the 300 meter. I always questioned why? It appeared both would be challenging, but simple enough to train for.

As I observed runners at practice, I watched them anticipate the hurdles, strategically placed around the track, they would fret to the point of physching themselves out.

Three hundred meter hurdles were more intimidating. They took more planning, time, and provided a wider view of the course, to run.

What if you had a family vacation planned, but the map came alive and demonstrated every possible hurdle on your trip? Would you still take the holiday? Probably not, especially if you were expected be far from home.

The athletes would do this very same thing. They would look at the long course, plan all the what ifs in their mind, and sometimes they didn’t run the 300 meter, due to fear.

In life, you already know there will be hurdles, along your journey of fulfilling your desires. But many choose to not continue, especially if they already know how many times they could possibly fall down, skin their knees or have a group of hurdles to jump.

As I assist people from all over the world. I realize life can be compared to a cross-country race, 100 meter hurdles, as well as the 300 meter.

Return to the opening questions. Do you have a desire? What is it? Once you have identified it, look at the end result. What pushes you to obtain your goals?

Now tell yourself…If I were running a cross-country race, I know there are spots that will be rough, unexpected terrain. However, all I need to do is slow down and look a few steps ahead. Glance up to see the dark spots on the path, but then return to directly in front of me and keep on running.

What if your journey is more visible and you can actually see the path? Remember, there will continue to be hurdles. Some will be bunched up together, similar to the one-hundred meter. Yet, others will be spread apart and all come up at once. Regardless of how far apart they are, they will appear.

Your job is to jump! JUMP one at a time and keep on dreaming. Keep on pushing and know that once at the finish line, you may relax. But only until the next race begins. Get ready? Get set? Gooooooo…….

God Bless

My greatest desire is to provide you with hope, determination and ways for you to find your personal pathway to happiness.




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Merry Christmas…

I recently wrote an article entitled, A Simple Message, about the one common strand ‘meaning’ of the holiday season. Which I have found that common strand is LOVE! Whether you celebrate Christmas or not.

Which continues to be the true meaning of the season, for me. However, the story of Christmas is one of the sweetest and most miraculous stories of all.

As I anxiously, await for my children to come barreling in my room and wake me up, I close my eyes and attempt to imagine the birthday of baby Jesus. (Yes, I know my children are all adults, but my babies they will forever be!)

Just think doing your regular duties and a big bright star shines super bright. Angels appear throughout the night, gifts were brought and a beautiful baby boy is born. His story has been told in many languages and is celebrated in a multitude of places.

The season is about love, but Christmas to me will always be about thanking God for sending this world a baby, baby Jesus. His message has always been strong, his story illuminates love, peace and strength.

Let me ask you something? Do you think they were always strong? Do you believe that Mary and Joseph knew HOW they were going to make it? No, the answer is no! They had no idea how they were going to do this. Nor where. They endured a great deal and yet they survived and went on to leave a Legacy.

As you celebrate Christmas…think about the sweet story of the birth of Jesus and the Love he brought to this world. However, also think of the entire story and how much and how many people were affected.

I don’t believe is was all lollipops and rainbows for the shepherds, Inn Keeper, Wise Men or Mary and Joseph. They were in a rough environment and in today’s society the family would be considered less fortunate. However, they had all they needed! A sweet baby boy who would change the world forever!

If you are in a bad spot or down and out this Christmas. Please pause, then try to remember a happy time in your past. Maybe an old tradition or just get out your Bible and read the sweetest story ever. I don’t know how, but I do know what! Merry Christmas my friend, you are loved, no matter what!

God Loves you


Jesus does too!

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Jesus, we will try to exemplify your meaning and Love, Love, Love one another!




Email me if you would like to start the year off with, two free weeks of Happy Coaching.

More recent Thanksgiving Past…

As most of you know Eric and I went to Hawaii to see mom and dad as well as, celebrate our twenty fifth anniversary. What you may not know is it was their forty ninth Wedding Anniversary on November 2nd! It was awesome. Therefore, Eric and I, took them out to eat for a special dining experience, on the ocean to celebrate.

Betty and I got all dressed up in our aloha dresses, adorned our beautiful outfits with Jewlry, by none other than Beautiful Bling by Betty. We were the cats meow!

As we drove up to the restaurant the torches were lit and the dancing fire illuminated the walk way, to a ambiance for love and romance. Ocean breeze, family and friends. Both our heads were spinning. Stop! Selfie time. I took a group photo with my handy dandy selfie stick. I really think we were floating on a cloud of happy emotions, to the extreme that we began reminiscing about times past, that we were all together and how wonderful it was.

Now let me stop right here! Don’t take me the wrong way, we all had a wonderful, fabulous, delicious dinner that night on November 2nd, 2017. But read on and see if you can see why I blame the ‘ambiance’ of this romantic evening on the stupidity, Betty and myself were about to begin and continue.

As we told our friends, who were joining us, about the different family gathering memories, we had. Everyone could feel the flucuations of happiness then the wave of, just a smidge, of sadness. (Not because we were unhappy now, but sometimes it is sad when so many traditions have changed).

That’s when it happened. I had one martini and I don’t know which one of us spoke up first, but one of, Betty or I, said, “We should have an old fashion Thanksgiving dinner. Mmmm all that good food, Uncle Ben’s Wild Rice, gravy, broccoli casserole. That is it.! Let’s do it!”

We both so eagerly shook our heads in an accepting manner of how ‘good’ of girls and wives, as we truly are! Almost as if all of the grand things we have done for our families, came down to the most memorable times.

The guys attempted to talk us out of this grandious, hair brain scheme of ours. But no, no they weren’t talking us out of it! We were sure this would be a fun time and we were jumping in with both feet first!

As the days and nights went by, we were busy, busy. Hoola class, beach hoping and bike riding. Shopping and enjoying each other’s company. Until, Dum Diddy dum!!!! (Drum roll please) The day for Thanksgiving Dinner had arrived! Gosh has it already been two weeks? Naaaaa surely not!

The best way I can explain the affects of Hawaii is; every inch of your body is JELLO. Worries cross your mind, but flee as quick as they enter. If one thing I know, for sure, is going backwards to ‘The Good Ole Days’ isn’t as much fun as soaking up the sun in our ‘BEST’ days!

At least I felt like that. I was unsure if Betty felt like this so, I rolled out of bed and began to create a list. The entire time I was writing I would write a dish and then write beside it a label…difficult or simple. Which meant I was already back pedaling from all of this ‘traditional’ crud. Yes, it was fun, but it was a great deal of work, especially for Betty and I because we had always been the two who seemed to expect ourselves, to work alot, to please as many as possible.

Now don’t get me wrong, we have always enjoyed our families and have both taken pride in our efforts to open our homes and demonstrate loving hospitality. (Of course she is better at being more hospitable than me, but she is a better cook too, so who cares, I love and accept myself lol).

However, at this point I was pretty sure we were both over the ‘Old Fashion’ Thanksgiving dinner. When she saw my list she began to laugh and laugh. She was like this is alot of work isn’t it?

Many funny epiphanies came to me, during my process, of getting ready and I shared them with Ray and Eric. Both men quickly reminded me,”We tried to talk you both out of this! But nooooo you insisted!”

I stood there similar to a statue, listening to everyone’s chatter. How true were their claims? In all actuality , extremely true! Brutally, honestly, TRUE!

We had done this to ourselves!

Now let me wrap up the story part, before I bring it to full circle!

We had the best visit with mom and dad than ever before. We both truly enjoyed being in their presence and in paradise. Betty and I cooked a Thanksgiving meal ‘traditional’ Drake’s style!

Of course, I assisted, but my dishes fell under the simple or some even bought category. However, we pulled it off! It was the most mouth watering, delicious, fabulous, exquisite meal I have had in quite sometime.

I am grateful for the entire vacation and will cherish the sweet memories throughout our visit.

However, I learned some valuable lessons from the entire dinner ordeal. I feel it’s best to bullet them…

  • You don’t always have to relive a tradition to enjoy the memory.
  • When you are feeling stressed about something almost like a regret, talk to that person, be honest. You never know they may feel the same way.
  • Sometimes what we think makes other people happy, is not real, ask them if it is something they feel emotional about. For example: our husbands could have cared less, what we cooked, they were grateful we cooked at all.
  • When looking back at a memory and it feels all warm and fuzzy enjoy it, but ensure before you say you want to relive it, you remember the entire story.
  • For example: I love my children so much and I must say I enjoyed raising them, but to say I would want to relive it would be ludicrous.
  • Although we were resistant the day of, we readjusted and shopped one day and cooked the next. Allow yourself readjustment time. If it is a bad time in your life pause and allow yourself to rethink and readjust, how you feel. (No this wasn’t a bad time in our life. It was actually funny how great of a time it truly was, but this works if you are having a worse time, than we were).
  • Feel it? Feel just how you feel right now. If you don’t like this feeling, then ask yourself, how do I want to feel?
  • What will bring you closer to that?

Thank you for reading this posting.

I am truly grateful for you! Wish you the best.

Want to host a Happy Coaching Session for your friends? Or maybe a Happy Celebration for your employees…email us




Written by: Momma Teena

What will they say about you?

Mom, Jamie and I participated in the Madison tour of homes last night. It was a spectacular evening! We viewed some of the most beautiful homes, museums and this year we were allowed to view a new portion of the Lanier Mansion! (If you have toured it before, go back the new addition is simply fantastic).

Anywhooooo, as we read note cards under pictures in the Historical Society, I began to think, (Yes, again).

Actually, I was appalled at several and I wondered, how will others describe me, when I am gone. Will I be remembered and if so for what?

Let me give you a quick example. This ladies picture hung on the wall (not her best either) and the short paragraph explained how she had been married four times and it was said she had a relationship with a famous writer, who was from this area.

Wait a minute!!! The only reason she was recognized is because she apparently was a tramp and slept with a famous person? Not married to him nor has done anything exceptional.

Remember, I am not saying ‘bad’ things about anyone it’s what her ‘legacy’ was.

Hmmmm…Stop and think what would people say about you? Next year, or one hundred years from now?

In Leader in Me training, #FranklinConvey said, “What would people say to or about you on your 80th birthday.”

Please don’t mistaken living to leave a legacy for living to please others or worry what others think! Not the same thing!!!!!

It’s not that any of us needs to be PERFECT! Or continually worry what others think or say about you or your beliefs.

The difference is a Legacy is big enough to drown out any cruddy down falls you may have. Everyone has them, but people that choose to have big legacies seem to have limited downfalls, after death, okay if it is a positive one. In other words if you are following that strong tug that pulls at your heart to do, be or have anything; or maybe you have committed your entire life to educating others, healing those in need, or whatever it is you choose, as long as you are following how good it feels, you are fine.

However, if you look over the past week and think if I was gone tomorrow, what would (whoever is important to you) say about me? And you don’t like the note card that might hang below your name…It is time to change!

It is time to rewrite your story. Begin setting those wrongs right and following your heart.

I was asked last night, “How do I?”

It doesn’t matter how!! Once again no one has ever known how they were to accomplish anything. They did know what they wanted to accomplish and they did have a why! However, how is left up to you and the universe.

Let me ask you something? If you pray a little or a lot, do you tell God or ask God to show you how? Or do you tell him how to answer your prayers?

Probably not! If we all knew how we were going to accomplish something don’t you think we would skip the journey? Or maybe even the prayer?

(I can honestly say that after December 8th, 2016, I will never question how again. Even when I slip backwards into that old stinking thinking, I won’t question how!)

Begin this moment to think what you want the important people in your life to remember you as! Then begin the journey to develop that spectacular you and note card under your name!

It may be only your family, you care about what they speak of you after you have departed or maybe you want more. Employees, friends or hey if you are Donald Trump, the entire world. I don’t care who it is. I know some of the things I want to be said about me and some I have accomplished, yet others I am continuing to explore. But one thing is for sure, I always want to be thought of as ‘sunshine’ and ‘laughter’.

I don’t care if someone reports how many college degrees I have had or speaks of how many careers I explored. However, I do care how I made them feel, when they encountered my spirit here on Earth. Do you?

What is your legacy? Do you have one? What footprint have you left, if today was your last?

God Loves You No Matter What!!!!!

Don’t forget to email us at if you want to come celebrate with us! It will be the one year mark for my life changing event and I am super excited to share with you some of the life lessons I have gained.

We are only charging twenty dollars per person, now!!! Not because we had to, but because we are only accepting cash or check for this (technical difficulties with accepting credit cards, so this is easier lol. I keep reminding myself this is all apart of the journey!!).

It begins at 7 and continues until you are tired lol.


Ohhh and come as you would like to be in 2020! I will explain in a later posting!




Ghost of Thanksgiving Past…

I can smell the bacon sizzling, eggs a cracking, batters being whipped and beaten. Come about four o’clock in the morning, Thanksgiving morning. I would slip down the stairs as quietly as the old crickety floor would let me and slowly, ever so slowly, open the door at the bottom of the steps. Sliding my small little girl body through a sliver of an opening, to ensure I did not awaken my mom and dad, who were on the hide-a-way sofa in the, soon to be magical dining room.

As my bare feet touched the cold floor, I would cringe, drawing it back in hopes I would not groan so loudly, to wake everyone up. As I approached the opening to the doorway of the kitchen, I could hear her clanking the pans (as quietly as she could) and almost methodically dancing, in her house robe like a glowing angelic human. If I didn’t disturb her and freeze like a statue, I could hear her lightly singing a sweet hymn. Usually something like, Thank you Lord, for saving my soul or I will walk with Him and I will talk with him….

I try to hold my breath for as long as possible, so I can hear and watch her for just one more minute, only to slip on a rug, lose my balance and come sliding in the kitchen, butt first. She basically, keeps going and says, “Teena Gay, what are you doing up it is too early and you will be cranky before Thanksgiving dinner is served!”

As I began to whine and explain how excited I was and I rambled on, she seem to forget what she had said and would start talking to herself. Almost as if a check list was in her head and not even I could get her off track (Which if you know me I can get anyone off track, most of the time).

Mmmmmmmmm, can you smell it? I can! I can smell the green beans a bubbling, the turkey browning, the sweet pies a cooling. One by one a family member would emerge. Poppy would slip down the steps, wrap his arms around Baw Baw, giving her a reverse hug and a sweet peck on the cheek. She would always stop, pause and embrace his hugs and his kisses.

You know as I sit and write this I can’t help, but pause, close my eyes and as the tears stream down my face, I give thanks! I am grateful for these precious memories.

I remember thinking my grandmother was super woman! You know, I might be wrong, but until my Poppy passed away I think she cooked the majority of the food. I know we all pitched in something throughout the years, but honestly that was Violet Ashby’s legacy! Not just Thanksgiving Dinners, but bringing people together, by opening her home and preparing the most delicious, blessed and cooked with love meal anyone could ever imagine.

The time would quickly come, when those who weren’t in town, would begin to arrive. Oh the smiles on everyone’s face. The big hugs that seem to be never ending as the back screen door would open and SLAM, directly behind anyone who entered. Greetings, greetings!!!! It was like a house full of laughter and the energy was so strong it seemed as though, our farm home was coming to life celebrating hundreds of years of family, would vibrate and glow.

Finally, it was time to eat. Now most of the time as we all gathered around the ‘big people’s’ table or the ‘kids’ table off to the side (I don’t think I sat at the big people’s table until after I was an adult of like 25! Lolololol), the room would be so loud, Forman Hamilton who was the neighbor down the road, could hear us. However, once my Poppy, Uncle Bob, or Uncle Rod said, “Let’s bless this food…”

We all stopped talking and immediately grabbed hands and bowed our heads. It was like a snap of the fingers when it happened! Next, BRING ON THE FOOD!!! Heavenly Ham, terrific turkey, goodness gracious gravy, pluffy potatoes, stupendous slaw & stuffing and Pie, pie, pie! Did I forget to mention Butterscotch PIE!

We would all pass the food around the table: macaroni and cheese oh my!

As Thanksgiving approaches, enjoy each person you are with. Take time to put your phones down and turn off your technology for just a moment and record those smells, laughters, moment by moment sounds and events in your memory bank. Because you can never relive this time again. Next year will be different. It may not seem much different, but it will be. Everyone will be a year older, have new perspectives, some will pass others will be born, no matter what the only way you can relive a memory, is create one!


Thank you for reading, sending you much love!





(Don’t forget to check out December 8th, our upcoming event/celebration is going to be fun!)