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My Uncle Bob

It’s finally here! The birthday of the man, I have been itching to write about! Many of these stories have been tucked away, for when I let it all go and begin writing comedy, becuase I love him and his sly comical demeanor cracks me up.

See the man standing on the right? With a white shirt on? (Which is weird, he usually has a rich color of deep purple or blue, but it doesn’t matter, he always looks amazing.) This, ladies and gentleman is my Uncle Bob and after I complete this, you will wish he was yours.

(Aunt T and Uncle Bob)

Background: I have only heard stories about their first meeting, but it must have been wonderful. My Aunt T and Uncle Bob met in Bowling Green Kentucky at Western Kentucky University, over fifty years ago.

Both from neighboring counties, meeting at the university. After 6 months they were married and lived happily ever after. (That’s the story, thanks everyone!)

I can only imagine his excitement! He married one of the most beautiful women in the world. BUT… with beauty comes a family full of beautiful people and beautiful ideas (kind of?).

Bare with me! Yes, they have been married for a long time, they have two beautiful children, a wonderful son n law, adorable grand cats and four gorgeous grand children. But before all of that Uncle Bob married his sweet wife, who came with a sweet (Ha ha) farm family. LOL!

Uncle Bob had now acquired a brother and sister n law, who were still young, he never imagined what funny and chaotic things were in store for him, over the next fifty years or so!

Life has began:

I wonder when or if he ever began to truly understand the dynamics, of what he has taken on. I will say this he NEVER SHOWED his frustrations with all of us.

First Scott was born. My mom, Charlene, I believe was ten. In our family it is tradition for the grandmother to go and stay with their daughter for two weeks, after the baby is born. That means my Baw Baw, Violet, would be living with these newly weds. Hee hee, I giggle thinking about Baw Baw bossing everyone around and my Uncle Bob thinking what in the world have I done. He never said anything mean or hateful. (How do I know? Duh it’s Uncle Bob. I don’t have to be born to know how he is, He is just that AMAZING).

For a side note, my mom often wondered how he didn’t have a heart attack. Because she rode up on her bike with Scott in her basket and still he said nothing! We still chuckle about that.

Fast Forward: five years later my sister in spirit and my cousin for life was born, Trina Lou! Oh my, here we go again the entire family, but especially Baw Baw.

Three years later it’s me, it’s me not Sandra Dee, but little ole, meek, quiet, never says anything me, Teena Drake! What? You don’t agree? Okay, you are right, I was born talking.

Now I know, no one could have prepared this patient, gentle, kind caring, quiet understanding man about the next twenty years or more of his life, with the Ashby family.

I realize no one knows what the future holds and he would have been bored without us, however, let’s just say we put him to the test. I wish I could write ALL the funny stories about him, someday I will share them.

I do remember the day Trina Lou and I were discussing her dad’s temper. I laughed and laughed because I knew he was human, but a temper? Listen to her tell this…

“Teena, if you ever want to know if daddy is mad, watch his mouth!”

“What? His mouth? If my mom gets mad you better run because you don’t have to watch her mouth you will hear it.” (Me too, everyone knows if I am upset).

Trina continued giggling and lowering her voice to a whisper, “Seriously, he moves his jaw and licks his lips. I always know to move on. That’s how I know I am in trouble.”

Really? That’s it? She was telling the truth! Over forty years I have not heard him become angry, but I do watch his facial expressions, if I am concerned.

As years went on everyone has lived with Uncle Bob and Aunt T. Now I am not dumb by any means, however, I never realized how amazing my uncle Bob is and always has been, until I became an adult. When any of us were in limbo, needed a place to crash or live, or a hot meal or anything, Aunt T would say, “Come on over.” Or, “Sure you can live with us.”

I know she never thought twice! Sometimes, I think how the heck did my Uncle Bob do it! I am telling you it was always someone or something in our family. Card games, teenagers, Farm family, church friends even kids and grand kids of others. I bet if they had and register for all the people, who have stayed at their home, it would be filled, maybe two or three of them. Steady as always, my Uncle Bob, never faltered or gave up on any of us.

My last story to make you laugh and give you a grasp of how amazing this man is.

One of the times I was staying with them, Trina Lou and I had been riding bikes, in the neighborhood. We lost track of time (usual) and he came looking for us. When I saw the red station wagon driving down the road I said, ” Trina! We are in trouble.”

I jumped up from the wet ground and waved him down. I was filthy, butt wet from sitting in the grass, hair matted in the back because I hated taking time to comb it, I looked like I didn’t know how to dress myself. He slowly pulled off the side of the road, I immediatly began telling some long, dragged out, story of why we weren’t home. (Like I knew!). He listened patiently and I can now see he was laughing deep down, but he stayed calm. He replied with, “Girls it’s getting late you need to get home.”

I said, “Shew, we are a long way from home, I am glad you came…I will put my bike in the back…”

Continues with a straight face, not a shriek, peep nothing was to prepare me for what he said. My Uncle Bob smiled, then chuckled (like he does) and replied to my simple, understandable request with, “Nope, you are riding home. I am not putting you or that bike in my car.”

Let’s rewind! What? Did my Uncle Bob just laugh at us, four or five miles from home, drove out here not to yell at us, beat us, or anything, but won’t put my bike in his car? What is happening? I was devastated. However, after our ride home I never did that again.

Wrap it up: I could tell you a million funny and heart warming stories, about this man, my family has been blessed with.

He has lived with a lovely wife that I know he has always loved dearly. Even when she said, “Sure, you can live with us.” (Off the top of her head!).

He has Spent fifty Christmases, same as Thanksgiving, always tried to ensure my Aunt came home once a month (if possible), has been through Uncle Rod going to Vietnam, all of the nieces and nephews being born, countless birthday parties, graduations, he has cried with us, and laughed with us. All of this is just from his wife’s side of the family. He still has his other side to tend to and everyone elses too. Uncle Bob stayed strong and steady and carries on like none other!

Happy Birthday Uncle Bob we appreciate you! You are awesome!

We all love you!!! I hope you get to Golf today!

Livelove

Some people are like their own love…

Think of car guys/girls, they love cars and understanding them can be easy, if you understand a little bit about cars.

As I watched my friend in toastmasters speak about his new truck, I had an epiphany! People act like what they love! For example: I love pink! I love to live free spirited…so I definetly act like a pink poodle!!! Bahahahahaha

Or maybe a pink flamingo!

And a car guy or gal acts like an automobile. You can’t push them if you want them to run. If you try to push them they will sit there (looking at you) like your a complete idiot and continually holding their brakes on.

If you attempt negative motivation they respond in the same manner. Even if you try to set fire to their tale -end they will either step aside to avoid any more attention from you OR explode like dynamite. The only way to encourage or understand a car person is to remember they will go at a steady flow based on shear mechanical engineering from the Science of: every action has an equal and opposite reaction, it is always consistent. Now that is the only way to encourage or understand ‘Car’ girls and guys; is remember they act like what they love!!!

I love you Nicholas Ryan and am super proud of you! Keep on being the great car guy, you are!

You are amazing….

Who you? Yes, you! I don’t care who you are, where you are at this point in life, where you are going or where you have been. Not one thing could you say to me that would convince me anything different. 

Why? You ask? As I woke up with the sunshine peeking through the storm clouds, this morning the ideas to write about, raced through my head. I felt super inspired and so I sat down, first meditated, then I began so sift through my social media. (As most can tell I am not the best at keeping up with Facebook and all of that.) However, I chose social media to find the feeling needed to inspire, enlighten and encourage you.

Here it is!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!! How did I come up with that from Social Media? I watched as people stopped to smile, hug, show off their new babies, find a great adventure, click and post. Freezing that memory in time in hopes, it will never vanish. I can tell you that out of thousands of students and after working with as many or more adults in life coaching, that not ONE person has ever said, “Mrs. Drake please do not tell me I am amazing or do not brag on me I am not worthy!”

In other words everyone wants and needs to be told how amazing and awesome they are. Even the most confident people need a boost once in awhile. Here it is…if you are reading this post you are amazing! If you aren’t reading it yep, still amazing. (Even if you do not know me, doesn’t it feel neat to read those statements of how amazing you are?) 

After my morning meditation this is the message I was given. While you sleep a massive amount of manufacturing is going on inside your body. Just because you are asleep your heart doesn’t stop, it may rest, but continues to work along with the bone marrow, blood cells, brain activity, tissue, muscles, rna, dna and so on. Everything keeps working! If you sit and ponder just that portion it should wow you into amazement. You see you are amazing by default. You were created that way. Because you were given the gift of life you were born just the way you are, AMAZING! it makes me want to jump up and sing head, shoulders, knees and toes. However, I would add my own flare; Head, shoulders knees and toes working together to help my amazement flow.

I could probably write on just this topic for weeks or months, but today all you need to know is: YOU ARE AMAZING!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT! 

May your day be blessed and always know God loves you no matter what!!!!

Epiphany

This is not the writing I had been working on all day. However, it is a funny and an enlightening story. 

As I wrote on my other post, for the day, I would have to stop intermittently to cook, switch clothes around, talk to mom, kids, the list could continue on for eternity. 

But each time I was interrupted I would pause, before I would allow the interruption to intrude. My pause entailed how the scene would play out, we would talk about great and exciting things…whatever I wanted to happen. Either to entertain me or enlighten me. Next, I would become engaged and it would be just as pleasant as I had envisioned.

Finally it was time for me to complete my daily writing to hopefully inspire and uplift you. Oops it is almost 2 and I haven’t eaten. Yet, another interruption. Then as I was searching in the cabinet for a snack I saw it!!!! My best friend told me the only way to clean your bathroom is with Kaboom. Sometime between her telling me that and today I bought it! I had forgotten when I bought it and it hadn’t been opened or used. I was so excited I became distracted yet again. Went immediatly to Nick’s tub and saturated the walls with it. I just felt pleased. I was so excited to have purchased Kaboom.

You might ask why I told you that silly story. However, it has great meaning. Once you begin to live the way I am writing about, you will never want to return to negative never land of sadness, gossip, hurt, poverty, gloom and doom. Read that last sentence aloud, yes now. How did you feel? Shew, I couldn’t even do it. After writing it once I couldn’t reread it. Even the words make me cringe and feel sad.the only reason I had you read it was to observe the difference in feel good words and not so feel good.

Truly, if you will continue to follow me and participate in the activities you will be able to live, have, do or be anything you want. The only fear I have is, I am enjoying life in the here and now so much I won’t complete the program. No, I am committed to sharing this lifestyle with you. 

It is absolutely amazing. No catch, no roller coaster affect, just living life in the happiest manner. That’s why I shared the Kaboom story with you. Before I discovered this living in the now or what I like to call ‘being’ I would have felt frustrated, aggravated, defeated and you get the idea. 

Not today! I was so excited I could have jumped up and down. I was even more excited when I cleaned the shower, that so desperately needed it. It came clean, lickety- split. I was super pleased Teresa had told me about it. So today may not have been a productive writing day, but it was an awesome day! 

Please share, follow and or recommend my blogg to anyone who needs it for enlightenment or just for entertainment. May you be blessed today and I hope you find your Kaboom for the day!!! 

Put on your rose colored glasses???

The world is what you say it is? Sometimes it’s better to put on your rose colored glasses and have fun. 

Many people will take time to dispute my concept of rose colored glasses however, it’s true. Take time to try it. Go buy you some goofy glasses and put them on, take a picture and laugh. I bet you can’t even put them on without laughing or smiling at least. So if this is true why would people dispute it? Because it’s too simple. What? Yes you read correctly it’s too simple. 

Let me explain…with all the shootings, horrific political disputes, cancer, illness, wars, bombings, you get the idea, how can anyone possibly say put on your rose colored glasses and move on? I understand their thoughts and feelings. But let’s try something…reread that paragraph for ten seconds. Then close your eyes and feel the feelings that go along with it. Sadness, fear, anger, and confusion. However, instead of dwelling on it or talking about it all day what can you really do to change it? I would love to say nothing because the next paragraph sometimes creates anxiety for people and that is not the intention. However, you can do something! What? You ask…

After you have read the above paragraph and felt the emotional attachment to the entire horrific world today. Re-set your brain. Try it you will be amazed.

Every morning when you wake up the sun comes up. It might be raining but the sun comes up. If it does rain there will be a rainbow. Smiles, hugs, laughter, love, flowers, beautiful sunsets, a hot bath, nice walk in the woods, friendships, adventure. The beautiful arrangement of words can continue for much longer than the words that bring you down. Try it. Repeat the steps you did above. Reread the paragraph dont critique, just read, then take five to ten seconds and feel the emotional attachment to those lovely words. Feel the warmth, take time to feel the joyful feeling of just rereading those words.

When I said there is something you can do to change it this is how. Yes it seems simple, but it is that simple. If I wrote of rape, death and politics yes, my message might go viral immediately but that is only a momentary glimpse of what is today. I promise if we work together, put on our rose colored glasses, jump on the higher frequency and replace the storms with rainbows and lollipops; the world will be a better place! It is our responsibility to choose our emotions, our vision and that will effect those around you. As it continues to grow, your life will eventually be what others see, when they put on those rose colored glasses the first time.

Please remember God loves you no matter what and there is enough for everyone. You can have do or be anything your choose. The question is how do or will you choose to live? 

God Loves Everyone! 

     Only read this if you believe that statement!!! Just skip over it, read something that makes you happy!! 

    If it is so controversial why would you write it? Because some where someone is hurting because of harsh judgement. Here it goes…

  God says, “I Love Everyone! Why wouldn’t I? I created you I made you in the image of me! Do not listen to the media, other people, religious bi-laws (which are man made), do not listen to the politician or boss whom you feel has power over you! That is simply not true. First they don’t have power over you that is why I gave you the freedom of choice. Nooo they are not correct when you hear ‘Exactly, God gave you the freedom to choose so you should choose our belief filled with judgement, lies, fear and guilt!’ 

     “That’s just not true! I still love you even when you stand alone. I love you even when you have given me a different name based on your choice of religion. Yes, I love all!! Idc if you are homosexual, heterosexual, transsexual, corrupt politician, mean, spiteful, financially wealthy or poverty stricken, Muslim, Christian or even atheist and you choose not to lean on me or believe in my existence. I Love You Unconditionally!”

   

Has it been eighteen years ago? What year is it? 2017?

It was just like yesterday!!! March sixteenth 1999…the band Yellow 5 was playing at the Toy Tiger. What an event! It hadn’t been the first time they played there, but was definitely one of the most important. There was a company there to sign, who? Yes, our little hometown band, they were on their way to being FAMOUS!!!!!! However, guess who was in labor at about six o’clock in the morning and Eric was to leave to pursue stardum at one  pm. Not good timing to say the least! But what an adventure.

The contractions would play with us all day. Become closer together then subside. I had decided they were probably a false alarm. However, he was over due, so we were on alert. I will never forget the moment when I called the doctor, explained my contractions and said, “If it would be okay, could I hold off until after midnight, to check in to the hospital?”

After a long pause, which seemed like an eternity, she chuckled and said, “Teena, I don’t think you get to choose that, but since this is your third child, you will know when to get here.”

My thoughts were you do not know me very well, but okay.

As the minutes ticked and clumped into hours my labor proceeded to get worse. Now a solid ten minutes a part and not stopping. They were consistent. It was now 12:45 and my honey was becoming anxious. Then he did the sweetest thing, he got down on both knees planted a big kiss on my huge, tight, belly button protruding, in labor, pregnant stomach and said, “Little buddy I love you, you know I do…but truthfully I am begging you to hold off one night.”

At that moment my little heart melted. Awe how freaking sweet is he for saying that. IF YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE SOME PROPERTY FOR SALE, IT ONLY HOLDS A LITTLE WATER!!!! LOLOLOL

What happened next…Let’s just let it be known my huge, rolly, polly, extreme pain came out and I began to say not such nice things to him. But hey who wants to recall the negative so let’s move on!.

Anyways, he went on to the gig and said, “I will be there, if you have to go to the hospital.”

I guess I would deal with whatever happened.

It was around nine o’clock my mom and her boyfriend insisted on driving me (thank goodness because I was going no matter what). As we merged on to the interstate I began to have pretty severe contractions. I had bought a brand new outfit for the gig, attempting to look as beautiful as possible weighing in at too much to post!

As we pass the exit to the hospital I recall Jon yelling, “Pull off! Charlene pull off! This is ridiculous!”

“No you better not pull off I won’t get out. I will make it! Just keep rolling the gig is about ready to begin. We can make it, go go go!”

Mom just pushed the petal to the metal and we were sitting in the Toy Tiger parking lot. Black makeup was pouring down my face, making me look like I was a pregnant zombie (wonder if that was foreshadowing for the Nuelydedz).

I fixed my face and rolled out of the car, literally I rolled. As I waddled closer to the door I saw a black man covering the doorway almost like he was waiting on me to say, “You are not coming in here little mama.”

As I got closer and closer I realized it was our good friend, the bouncer, Mo. I grinned as my head rolled back so I could look him in the eye or at least close enough. I am still hurting and I said, “Hey Mo it’s me with Yellow 5 I am just not feeling well.”

“Nope you do not need to be in here. You need to turn around and go back home.”

As if some kind of demon took over my body I lowered my head for a second, probably because I was having a pain. Then looked back up and in a scary voice said, “Mo! I have been through hell and back today so could you please move over and let me through!!!!!”

If you knew him you would know he never budged for anyone. He was one of the best bouncers in the world. However, thank goodness he felt sorry for me. He stepped a side and even found me a table close to the back so I could watch, but could exit quickly, if needed.

We had about fifteen minutes to spare so I sat down. Eric appeared to be happy to see me, he might have been afraid of me, but he played it off well. I am just kidding! If you know either of us very well, you know we don’t stay mad for very long at all.

The lights went dim, silence filled the room for a split second and when the stage lit up Eric Drake raised his drum sticks and hit the first lick…it stopped! What? Yes, my labor pains stopped almost simultaneously. I don’t mean I had a little pain, then they stopped. In fact I would push back and forth a few times just so he would kick my hand. Once I knew he was fine we went on together, enjoying the gig. The night seemed to end quickly and I was home, curled up in bed before I knew it. Still no pain, achey feeling just little ole pregnant me, like nothing happened.

Next morning March 17, 1999 appeared to be an average morning. Eric went on to work and I got the girls ready for school. Around 1:00 I told my mother and brother n law I didn’t feel well. Therefore, I was going to take a bath. My mom was pacing back and forth. She knew I was acting funny, so she called Eric to come home early. When he walked in the bathroom to check on me I stood up in the bathtub said, “Honey, I don’t feel very good!”

His face was worth this entire story! He first turned white, then he began to raise his voice…never looking me in the eye. Only to stare at my belly like there was an alien peaking out of my belly button. When I asked him what is wrong?

He looked at my belly and calmly said, “Get dressed, we are going to the hospital.”

Then it happened. I looked down to see what he was so freaked out about. I am not kidding you when I say it was something like a phenomenon. My gigantic, stretched out, pregnant belly had sank to a small dodge ball size. It literally looked like somebody told Nicholas to jump into a too small of a container and scrunch altogether, to ensure  this delivery is a quick process. You will be out of here before you know it. I began to panic. I yelled for my mommy and she came running. All she could do was hand me clothes in a frantic manner. After I was dressed the girls were quickly loading into our gold colored MPV mini van and we were off. By this time the contractions had begun! We were at five minutes apart and holding. We drove the girls across the Milton/Madison bridge only to hand over the girls to my daddy and step-mom. It looked alot like a three ring circus: I am screaming, off and on, hanging on the ‘Oh Shit’ handle. The side door oppisite of their front door flies open as if a rocket is going to shoot out and strike their next door neighbors. Out jumps Darion and Ashby. Ashby is screaming, “NO! I want to go with you please don’t leave me here. I don’t want to get out,” while she is pushing her meemaw and daddy away with her chubby little hands and almost leaping back and forth to keep from being caught, but she was too little to escape boh of them.

Not to mention her daddy was screaming, “ASHBY!” at the top of his lungs.

Now the kids are delivered and we are racing down the road with flashers on and me still halfway standing up screaming every THREE MINUTES NOW. My mother had decided we were going to deliver him in the van.

Once we arrived at the hospital my best friend Teresa Kidwell was waiting on me and we all just knew this was going to be fifteen minutes until Mr. Prince Charming Nicholas Drake would bless us with his presence. Nope, Nope Nope…my sweet little nurse Wendy Hines (one of the best nurses in the world), began prepping me for delivery, doctor was quickly behind too late for an epideral and BOOM he was scooting on down the chute…but abruptly came to a halt. Why? Because he was ten pounds nine ounces that’s why! My body said sorry call me tomorrow because I don’t know how we will ever get this one out of here.

His shoulders were stuck. That is the final answer. After a few hours we had to make a decision; his collar bone would have to be broke. They did it and finally he was here.

My grandmother was alive then. I am always so grateful that he grew up knowing her. They had a unique bond. I would go to the house after working all day and say, “Baw Baw how did you and Nicholas get along today?” (She wanted to watch him when he was about three a couple of days a week, to keep from being lonely).

She would reply with, “Well, Teena I guess we got along okay. Who are you talking about? Nicholas? Oh yes he is so quiet I almost forgot I had him.”

Ummmm I think that should have been my sign but he was fine! Some people might get offended by me making a joke about my grandmothers dementia, but until you have lived through it, you can not understand! If you didn’t laugh about it you would lose your mind!

Anyways I had a beautiful ten pound nine ounce little boy on March seventeenth nineteen ninety nine. He has brought each of us joy on a regular basis and I can’t believe how fast the years have flown by. We have good, bad, fun, snuggle, adventurous, heartbreaking, puzzling and most of all loving times and I am looking forward to many more. He has never fit in a mold or been the type to follow a crowd. He has a kind heart; magnificient musical talent among other talents. He has been my rock the past four months, while I haven’t been capable of many daily duties. I thank God for Nicholas Ryan Drake on a daily basis. I love you buddy! Happy Birthday!

May my stories relate to you, make you laugh, help you heal, entertain you, but most of all may they enrich your life in one way or another! God Bless Everyone!