Category Archives: Marriage

I did it!!! I practiced what I preached!!!! 

I know how you feel!!! When you curl up to read my blog, sometimes the emotions are overwhelming!! Because our innate nature is to be happy!! Therefore, when we are attempting to find those ‘feel good’ emotions, yet we are continuing to tell the same old stories; we stop the feel good vibrations. The spectacular events that are right there, outside of our bubble, don’t disappear, but rather they stay suspended outside of you, until you are ready to accept and receive.

Here is my example. Picture this: I do Physical therapy and mental, spiritual, and emotional healing/therapy EVERYDAY, in the pool. However, last week I found myself alone, in the pool at our apartment. Yes, I should have been ecstatic!!! However, I cried and cried. (You see I love myself, but I love to be with people a great deal too). Anyways, do not focus on the sad! 

Living the life I lead today is amazing!!! Therefore, after last Thursday I decided to attend water aerobics at 930 this Thursday. I was so excited, I walked up and there were 5 women and two men over 65. Of course that didn’t bother me, but they were dying to know more!!! I could feel each of them watching me walk into the pool. One step then the next!! They all introduced themselves and ask questions. I felt extremely welcomed.

Ready? Here is the lesson or example…when they asked me about my life or why I was there, I said nothing about my leg. Ohhhh they wanted to know. (If they would have asked, I think I would have responded with, oh I was just privileged to have been given a second chance to live in a happy state, until my trip is over). I have no idea what I would have said, I can only tell you what happened. 

I described how wonderful my children, family, friends, river farm and of course my amazing husband are. I continued by telling them how grateful I was to have met each of them and politely excused myself. 

I could feel their eyes carefully watch as I crawled out of the swimming pool. I proudly walked off and smiled. As I approached the apartment, I began to laugh hysterically, to myself. I thought wow that was fun!!! 

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy, at first. However, it has to be done. You see, everyone receives a great deal of attention if they have a story to tell, that others can sympathize or empathize with. But in return you will receive more of that energy. Start telling your good feeling story. It’s not lieing, it’s just changing focus. Becuase everyone has a good story and a bad story. 

Even the lowest you can get if you begin right now, wandering thru the place you are and saying I am grateful for and keep saying it over and over. If you are homeless even then, you can begin to change your life. Try it. Practice it! I am grateful for YOU! READING THIS MESSAGE!

How do you introduce yourself? Hello I am ______. They respond with oh what do you do? Instead of telling them where you work (which doesn’t define you) say I live life to be happy. Then ask would you like to come along this journey? If they choose yes then hurray if not oh well life is good anyways! 

Livelove

You are loved and worthy! 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…

Several years ago a small ‘pocket book’ was published illuminating this topic ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!’ The author gave scenarios and demonstrated how silly it is to worry and fret over the silly annoyances in life. I have each one of these books, to remind me to take life with a grain of salt. To seek the adventure life has to offer! Take the challenge allow your inner being to sing thru you.

Once you have decided and began this journey of being in the moment and making decisions based on your inner feelings; you will always want to feel this way.

However, in life we all have moments of sadness, irritation, aggravation anger that we must deal with from time to time. Recently I have found that freezing it in my mind, walking away and them come back to discuss or determine a solution is best for me. You see, in the past I would resist, argue, return ugly insults, ect. Now, I choose to not even utilize the negative vocabulary. Oh yes it creeps in at times. However, for the most part I choose a better reaction or to not react at all. It depends on the situation. 
For example: I had a conversation with a friend and she was in a bad moode. Everything was wrong in her life. Her kid was a brat, didn’t have enough money, felt trapped. Listening to her talk was almost unbearable. I just kept thinking, stay calm, listen there is a reason for this conversation. After a little while and multiple attempts to change the conversation I feared I would say something to offend her. (Remember I lost my filter at the first break in my leg lol). Anyways, she was finally called away. I love this person and she needed to vent! I allowed her to do that for a small portion of time. The only problem is I was carrying this yuk, negative, irritated weight of emotion for her. I cried for her, the pain was real. 

What do I do? Hmmmm I decided to plug in my phone and leave it home. I went to the pool and immediatly put my entire body under water. As I came up after a few seconds, I realized I had taken my own advice. I froze the situation and went to my fun happy place, water!!! (Yes, water of any kind takes me to a calm loving state). As I began my physical therapy I would search my paradigm for a good feeling thought. A vision of the future or a memory from the past. It was similar to the characters of Inside Out, running around plugging in emotions. Finally, I found a few to distract my negative emotion. 

Later, that night I called my friend and said, “I love you and I want everything to be okay for you. If I can help in any way let me know.” 

At that moment I realized I should take my own advice!!! She was laughing and continued to tell me about her little boy and how cute he was being. Her husband had cooked supper and bought flowers. She basically was a changed woman from four hours earlier. I hung up the phone, looked at my husband and said, “Yes, I have more writting material.” 

Therefore, when I refer to Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, I mean don’t sweat other people’s small stuff either. My mom would tell me in the past…you call me and compla in or discuss your relationships  then you are off in an hour back to honeymoon phase. Isn’t that true? We all have that loved one who listens no matter what. Who loves us unconditionally who listens and cares so deeply that they will take on those emotions for us. My mommy does that for me. I try now to call or go see her after the fact and explain it’s all good. I don’t always remember, but most of the time I make the effort. 

Take time to enjoy. Remember the small stuff is not worth it. I would not have changed listening to my friend, she was having a legitimate melt down for a moment. However, next time I will send her the energy I did this time, I will see her feeling better, but I will not allow myself to sweat it or hang on to it!! 

I promise parents!!!! Most of the crazy, mixed up, emotions that follow parenting just means you need to keep following and reading my blogg. Because you can feel blissful even in the midst of chaos. Once you have incorporated a few simple techniques, you will be able to look back and say shew, we made it!!! And had fun while we were doing it!!!

No matter what ‘Be Happy’!!!!!!! If it makes you happy do more of it. Find time to laugh, enjoy. Yes, sometimes you will be presented with a not so good feeling situation. But do not sweat it!!! 

God Bless

Livelove!!!!!!

Why Grow Up?

Someone made the comment to me, “Teena will you ever grow up?” 

I remember thinking, hmmmm no I do not plan on it. Truly, I have already been there and done that. I can remember teaching with my friends and me telling them, I love kids because they haven’t accepted all the judgements, concerns, and hypocrisy of adulthood, yet.

When I say I have already done that, I have. You see as parents we are forced to ‘grow up’ or as I entitle it, conforming to society’s demands. However, I always searched for a way to spice life up a bit, by creating a fun yet safe environment to just be free.

While discussing parenting with some friends we all agreed, we should call and thank our parents for keeping us alive becausee we were fearless at one time. No barriers or connection to fear.

I am not saying you should become frivolous and not care about anything. However, if you take time to create a list of your daily activities and it consist of work, eating, cooking, cleaning and sleeping, IT IS TIME!!! Time for you to grow down a bit. Begin searching for something fun to do once a week. After you begin this journey you will search for more and more. It will become your quest. 

If you are a parent with children at home, my advice to you, is create a family fun time and an individual one as well. When my kids were little I would take a ‘Me’ day. (Probably Eric thinks I live in a me day, now lol). When we didn’t have money to go out, I created family fun days, For example: we had Wacky Wednesdays. 

Wacky Wednesdays or Terrific Tuesdays, Freaky Fridays, it doesn’t matter about the day or title. I knew we had to eat anyways. Therefore, I would make it fun!! Sometimes it was our attire: we all had to wear a hat, a tie, our clothes inside out, or maybe even pajamas. I would light candles, play music, allow the kids to help cook and set the ambiance. There were very few limitations (safety first). Sometimes it was a disaster, but I continually remember even the disasters were beautiful. 

We did everything from desert first, colored our food, and/or special music by the Drake kids. One of my favorite memories is – the evening we had saved to purchase some nice steaks, ice cream and toppings for the ice cream. We began with allowing the kids to create a ‘snow ball’ out of ice cream and roll them in the toppings, of their choice. They ate them first because life is too short to not eat dessert first!!! 

The next portion of the evening was our delicious steaks! However, (remember I only chose to grow up for those parenting moments necessary to assist my kids to stay alive and be accepted) I thought it would be fun to food color all of our food. Therefore, I colored the mashed potatoes blue and for some reason I colored the meat with GREEN. As the evening was wrapping up we were all sitting at the table, in the dark, with at least five candles. It was beautiful. Music playing in the background all the kids were excited and then…Darion needed some ketchup. I flipped on the light, Eric had eaten half of his steak and when I shined some light on his plate, he looked at his steak and immediatly yelled!!!! “Kids don’t eat the steak!!!! It is bad meat!! Teena throw this meat away.”

I turned and looked at my wonderful husband with a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?” 

At that point I realized what was happening and I began to laugh hysterically. The kids were sitting paralyzed, appearing to be in a trance, as well as holding their breath. They all three fixed their eyes on daddy to see if he was mad. Therefore, a ten second period of silence felt like an eternity. Next we all begin to let out a little giggle and one by one each of us began laughing until our cheeks hurt.

Regardless of anything negative happening the end result was all we needed. To laugh, giggle, and let go. 

It’s time for you to choose to enjoy!!! If you have five wonderful events fall into place which creates happiness for you, yet one not so happy slips into your realm, similar to our meat incident; focus on the other five! If you can laugh at your one negative situation and quickly switch it around, then do that. No matter what take time be grateful for the good moments and guess what? More and more good moments will occur.

There is a time and a place for everything!! I agree growing up isn’t so bad! As long as you promise to return to the bliss, honesty, and freedom of being a child occasionally, you will have a great life and happiness will fill your soul.

Livelove 

God loves you no matter what!!!! 

Remember to be happy even if it requires returning to a time when your life was much more simplictic. 

How do you know? 

One of the funniest questions I have asked people has been what makes you happy? Why? I have had the funniest answers from– you Teena,  make me happy.  Yet, others looked at me with a puzzled look and said I have no idea. Like they were waiting and anticipating to be told WRONG ANSWER YOU ARE WRONG! In reality, there is no wrong answer. Being asked that question isn’t truly a fair question. It’s actually a trick question. A question that begins at the concious mind and filters through to the subconscious, only to throw your mind into a blank stare.

In other words sometimes we can’t list what makes us happy, but when we are in the moment we can tell you one hundred or more things that make or create happiness for us. It’s a feeling AWE it’s a great feeling. 

Here we go, one of the first steps to feeling your way to happiness-

  1. Get a piece of paper 
  2. Draw a shape in the middle that you can write your name in, like a circle or square, it doesn’t matter what kind of shape.
  3. Write your name in the middle
  4. Next draw lines coming out from your name. 
  5. Write activities, music, thoughts, colors. 
  6. It can be as messy as you would like or as neat. This is ONLY YOURS you may share it or you may keep it to yourself.
  7. Now lay it down, pick it back up and read your name in the middle and create a sentence with one of your likes. Example: Teena LOVES Pink! Sometimes I will say I, Teena, love pink. 
  8. After you have said a wonderful positive statement that you love or makes you happy…close your eyes inhale, then exhale, see or visualize what you said and smile.
  9. Now you can understand what it means by feeling your way to happiness! 
  10. Repeat 7, 8, 9 throughout this Web you have created. Individually do each thing you wrote. Take time to feel the emotional attachment to each item you listed.

    You can do this daily, weekly, or when you need it. We will return to this activity several times. I may even repost it intermittently during our blogs. 

    This is a quick and easy way to begin setting and re-setting your vibration. It is also a simple way to begin gravitating towards adding the happy activities you love to do, towards you. Maybe you love to canoe and you complete the activity. Before long someone will mention, hey let’s go canoeing. 

    Take time to find what creates a happy feel good emotion for you and do more of that! I promise even through difficult times life is meant to be happy the majority of the time.

    Let’s Clear One Thing UP……..

    First, if you recently followed my blog or if you have always followed I want to say THANK YOU! If you are reading for the first time, this blog is a little catch up on who I am, where I am going and how grateful I am for where I have been.

    Recently, I began a journey and decided to share it with you by blogging, here on my blog. My journey has been magnificent with ups, downs and all arounds, thus far. I wake up each morning excited about what the universe has to offer today. I smile, run to the mirror say, GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY IT IS TO ENJOY THIS JOURNEY. I AM READY AND EXCITED ABOUT MY JOURNEY TODAY!!!!!!!!

    Okay, to be honest, I don’t jump up and scream that every morning (but after reading it, I might try it because it feels really good) nor do I wake up in a perfect mood everyday. However, I do wake up every morning anticipating what is going to be Terrific in my day. I also will admit I have a few rituals of ‘Pump Me Up’ that I perform. Sometimes it is lay there until I catch the beautiful vision I want or I will talk to myself in the mirror for a brief moment. The most important part, you understand, is my journey is to live in a vibration of feeling happy the majority of the time. The most exciting part of this journey is I am sharing it with you!

    Here is what we needed to clear up! I did have a life changing experience that reminded me of who I am. I have felt some (in my opinion very little) despair over this experience. The truth is me shattering my leg, laying in a ditch, and seven months later still trying to heal changed my life, by reminding me of my life purpose. You see I have had very few catastrophes in my life. I have suffered the loss of loved ones, but always felt the love I had for them will always keep them alive. I am sure my mother and father would tell you otherwise, but according to me my life was perfect from day one! I mean my mother didn’t name me for a couple of days and when she did come up with a name it was- Teena (unique spelling) and Gay for the middle!! What? Yes, I am telling you the only thing my accident did for me, which I am super grateful for, was to remind me of my life purpose. I was born to spread, be and teach others to be happy. To find their bliss.

    That may sound crazy, but it’s true. I can’t tell you, of anytime in my life, that I havent found something good or positive out of a situation. Not one. Therefore, if I write about despair, depression, loss please note I am in no way shape or form comparing my measly little issues with some of your horrific situations. Lately, I have read some blogs that I feel so sorry for some people. That is why I felt like you needed to know I understand everyone has issues in their life. The best I can do is offer you new tools to assist you in enjoying your time here on earth; because they are my gifts I am sharing with you.

    I am grateful for my life. I have lived a life most could only dream of. I had a strong circle of love from my family from parents to aunts/uncles, grandparents, step-parents, friends the list and circle becomes larger all the time. I married my best friend, have four beautiful children, and much more. Who am I? I don’t know, but I do know what I love and what creates a feeling of overwhelming happiness. I also know my ‘job’ ‘mission’ ‘life purpose’ ‘whatever’ you want to call it…it is to ‘be happy’ and teach you how to ‘be happy.’ Remember, what makes me happy doesn’t necessarily make you happy, but you will know when you FEEL IT!

    God Bless You! God Loves You No Matter What!

    I Love You…Because you make me happy….

    How many times have you heard or said the statement above? A million or more? Many people call this cupcake phase or honeymoon syndrome. However, the theory behind this is you are a half and out there somewhere there is another half that is perrrffffeeecctt for me and when we hook up life is going to be great. That’s all I need is someone else to make me happy. 

    At this point you are probably agreeing with me in one way or another, yet another part of you is waiting for the bashing. Okay what am I doing wrong? Why are you insinuating my mystical fantasy of an equal or better half being out there and coming to me, is nothing more than a dream?

    Let’s squash the past event where anyone told you that it is silly to exp ect a healthy loving relationship. I am not insinuating anything I want you to read it again? Yes, pause now and read it again. Okay did you read it? How did you feel after each sentence? Were those loaded statements or questions? Yes and No.

     After each sentence how did you feel? After cupcake or honeymoon phase, at first, did you feel excited and all warm and fuzzy inside? Most do, however, the emotion following the statement ( meaning it has two sides to it) didn’t feel so good? Why? Because if it is true what goes up must come down then directly after that, is going to be bad. Right? So we begin by expecting the worst after an alloted amount of time.

    Yes, life is easily compared to a frequency…yes there are waves up/ down of emotions. However, you can change the roller coaster to feel good the majority of the time. It takes a little practice and a bit of mind tricks, but once you feel the amazing emotions that follow, you will enjoy trying these simple little steps because it begins to be fun.

    The truth is when attending therapy you will find that each individual must develop themselves, sometimes before working on the couple as a unit. The answer is not waiting on the right person to make you whole but rather know what you LIKE ABOUT YOU, so you can attract someone who enhances the real you. 

    I realize that’s a great deal to take in. So let me show you what I mean. I don’t care if you are in a relationship or you are looking for that perfect someone take a min. try this then come back to it later and try again.

    1. Write down words that bring you joy. No not about someone else’s likes or dislikes just about you! Mine would begin with: swimming, water, sex, bicycling, sunshine, writing, music. (You get the idea).

    2. Next write words you like in either who you are dating, married or searching for. Make sure it has a feel good emotional attachment. Example: music, partying, socializing, working out ect…anything that makes you smile. 

    I understand that he or she has hurt you and they should have to pay for your broken heart.  It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship this is siblings, lovers, parents, if you continually focus on their negativity, you will continue to receive negative and unpleasant results. What you RESIST PERSIST. They will continue to find fault in you and you will do the same.

    Instead of focusing  on what you don’t  like about them transfer those thoughts to something you like about them. It can be physical  or emotioal. Once you get started you won’t want to quit! 

    Have fun, be happy and expect only the best for all situation concerning you. You are worthy of being loved, loving others, and having a life full of Sunshine and Lollipops. Enjoy! 

    Is FEAR standing in your way of success?

    As I wrap up my latest writings that I know are blessed and a gift, I begin to feel fearful. Fearful of what people will say, will my message be clear, will someone steal my ideas and there I will be just back to the daily grind? 

    STOP! STOP! STOP! screams the tiny voice of absolute success in relationships, family, money, travel and fun adventures. Yes, everyone feels those feelings. Their mind plays tricks on them just like you. In the past it was my way of life. Ohh what if someone else gets mad or what if I hurt someone I worried about everything. Now I know there is enough for everyone. You and everyone around you can be happy and successful you deserve that and God wanted your life to be like that.

     Whatever story you read religious or motivational you will read about the humans’ happiness and celebration. Also how those who were truly happy where surrounded by like minded people.  

    Therefore, when those fear of judgement, critical, fearful voice pops in your head, rigjt before you were embarking on the adventure of a lifetime, stop! Physically go to a mirror or look in your camera on your phone and say stop and shutup! Then smile really big wink and say, “You got this.” 

    Then walk away! It is just a way to reset or rip up the weed seed you are sewing. Because remember what we reap we sew…but if we sew and stop the growth; we can replant and reap the success or outcome! 

    God Bless!! You Are Amazing!