Category Archives: Not perfect

Here I go again!

Picture this, I am without makeup, hair is up in a messy bun, still in my pajamas and have only had one cup of coffee. That cup is the only evidence of me even being out of bed…THE ENTIRE DAY! So What? I will tell you so what, I should be off to the shower, getting dressed and attempted to look productive. BUT NOOOO…I am sneaking back to my computer to write, just one more. One more inspirational thought to share. One more description so intense, you are entranced to continue to read, follow, like and share, all in one fell swoop. Why? Why do I choose to write it? Why? Why can’t I be like everyone else and just video blog it? I guess in time. However, for now my large audience of six readers, sixty one followers and forty likes, I dramatically, thank you for reading and liking what I post! No, really I do appreciate you…All of you, even the yesterday you or the day before, that you too.

Sounds strange doesn’t it? For me to write, bizarelly, about appreciating someone each day, as if they were a different person each day! However, does it not seem strange for people to act, speak, or share how well they know you, yet haven’t spoken to you in, lets say, five years. Or maybe five months, what about a lifetime, only know them according to a form of media!

I don’t know why this message is becoming so strong. However, judgement of others is one of those ‘biggies’ some of us, all deal with, at one time or another. For some reason someone needs to read this message.

Listen up! I don’t care who you are. If you are one of my family members, an enemy (hope I don’t have any or if anything, I hope they will forgive me), the pope, a famous artist, young, old, religous or not…it doesn’t matter ‘who’ you are; Β You are a different person than who you were last year. And thank goodness for it! I would never want to return to a more niave me or a less lived me. That one who might have not thought before she spoke or acted. The one who was not as well seasoned. The one who thought so many trivial things were important like competition or winning.

If you are continuously being ‘reminded’ of who you once were and you don’t like it, then YOU, LET IT GO! Some how change gears! In your mind. If you are known as inconsiderate and pompous and do not like that astigma, begin to act and feel as though, a person who is considerate and humble. I am sure you have had someone in your life that exemplified those qualities. I know as I wrote the curriculum for Livelove (still writing, but so close!) I would think back about my heros. Not everyone else’s heros and not my mom, who is always the number one hero, for me. But Heros who were talked about or ‘judged’ in a powerful, yet, positive kind of way!

Think about it…Pause, who are you patterning off of? Everyone patterns off of someone!! The difference is some of us recognize, who we want to pattern off of and choose to study them, their lives, and how they are portrayed. Maybe, you are reading this and you are saying, “I am a Christian and my hero is Jesus.”

Which is perfectly fine with me! Because the more I study leaders, the more I see those who stand for love, protection, kindess and abundance, are the ones who withstand time. My simple question is why do you live with so much judgement? On yourself and others…Want to live like someone as great as Jesus? Better do some research, because his love for all of mankind and what he stands for is… NOT JUDGEMENT! NOPE, I HAVE LOOKED, ITS NOT IN THERE.

Wow! I have had a weird week! One post about politics, now this about religion, oh and don’t forget the other ‘hot topics’ about depression and dejavus! I am just the messenger. I promise my disclaimer will say, judge me not for the message I bring, but rather enjoy the blessings of reading and learning.

You are okay! You are amazing! Please let go of the judgement and the harsh judgements will let go of you! You do deserve to live to be happy.

God Bless!

Written by: Momma Teena

Livelove

&

Carryon

http://www.livelovellc.org

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Depressed? Don’t know why?

First, let me apologize for yesterday’s odd post about politics! I normally do not talk about that because, to be honest, it isn’t a ‘good feeling’ conversation. I realize sometimes those discussions must happen, but do not worry it won’t be a hot topic on this blog, unless it is advice, that all of us can use πŸ˜„.

Ever have those days that you wake up and BAM!! It hits you like a ton of bricks! That sick feeling of (inhale then exhale) depression! Life could be just terrific, but to you it would be much simpler to return to bed, curl up under the covers, close your eyes and forget anything ever existed.

Congratulations! You are human!!! Did you know the most famous of famous and rich of rich, have all felt this way, at one time or another.

As I watched, listened and rewound to hear again the stories of the past 75 years of the Golden Globes, last night, I realized something. Everyone on this Earth has those days. As the cinematography experts, plugged in the ‘wrap it up’ segment of the show, I watched as many exclaimed how hard they persevered to come to this point and they weren’t stopping until they were done!

You know what? That’s why they were there, receiving that award! Because they didn’t say, “How? Or I am not good enough.”

Instead they said, “What and I am good enough, I am BETTER than good enough!”

I will admit I cried through the entire show, reflecting on the monumental times. The times when groups of entertainers, utilized their talents to make the world a brighter place.

Funny thing is, I woke up feeling a little depressed today. As I meditated, prayed and began again, the naggy feeling wouldn’t go away. So I explored why?

Skip this next paragraph if you have NOT been diagnosed clinically depressed…

(Before I explain any further, this is my disclaimer…If you have been diagnosed clinically depressed and have a prescription, continue working with your doctor and CONTINUE to take your meds! I know you immediatly want to argue with me because you hate taking meds, but trust me I know what I am talking about. It is okay you can still enjoy this journey and learn from my writings, classes and or celebrations and YES, I hope someday your doctor says, “You are completely healed” However, until then please continue your regimen. I have some new ones with my leg that ,grrrr, sometimes irritate me too, but it is for my healing, so I continue!)

Why would anyone, with all that I have and how blessed I am, ever be depressed? I asked myself. I have felt down times when something energy shattering has happened. That is a normal sadness…losing a loved one, focusing on lack of, feeling inadequate, you know, the normal sadness or depressed emotions throughout life.

So WHY do we, who have everything and are enjoying life, to its fullest, have these times, where you just want to go back to bed?

Of course, I had to look up the definition of depression…

Is it just me or do both of those definitions combine together to mean…Less Than?

Wow! Yes, depression means less than. Which makes a great deal of sense, even clinically diagnosed, have less than or too much of something which is to the extreme, creating an emotion of ‘less than.’

Hmmmm, could it be a depressed emotional state is as simple as allowing the mind to remember what you have lacked and how less than you are now.

This becomes more and more intriguing to me. If I woke up a bit depressed today, enough to say, “I just don’t feel good today.”

What ‘lack’ am I focused on? I am improving daily, have very few true worries, my family is wonderful and becoming more and more extraordinary by the day.

I figured mine out! Have you figured out yours?

At first I was planning on sharing my ‘conclusion’ as to why in the world I would be depressed! However, I am allowing you to have your own reason. This allows you to NOT have my experience to compare to. Whether your reason is a better reason or not. Because, pssst…your reason is good enough!

Whatever, it is you feel less than about, right now, I want you to go to a mirror and say, “I love you! You are enough and I love you, I love you, I love you! Go ahead! If you are at a crappy job, with a mean and degrading partner, or you are beating yourself up…it doesn’t matter at this moment, excuse yourself, for a minute and say to you, “I love you and I accept you!”

It works! It resets, the ‘lack’ that is deep rooted in your subconscious, to enough and acceptance.

Depressed? Don’t know why? Now you know why. Not saying a little down time, every now and again, isn’t necessary because it most definetly is! However, the sooner you can stop those emotions the better! So begin today…I love myself, I accept and appreciate me! Over and over.

When and if someone is degrading you begin to hum hum hum 🎢🎢🎢🎡🎢🎡 I love and accept myself!!! La di da…I appreciate me 🎢🎢🎢🎡🎢🎡.

Allow the beautiful words to be what you hear rather than the vomit, coming out of theirs. If you are beating yourself up because of lack, STOP.

You nor anyone else can change what has been. No one! Now decide, can I proceed in this environment, reliving the past or accusing myself of lack, for the rest of my life? Psssst, I will tell you a secret, If you want to be happy you must focus on abundance and leave the ‘lack of’ in the past!

So am I still depressed? No, just grateful for the emotion to explore and share!

(This is where we want to do a Seminar on Happiness, next year, let me know what you think?)

Listen…πŸ‘‚you are capable of abundance in life…love, financial and spiritual! You do deserve the best for you and in turn your best will be the best for everyone.

God Bless

My greatest hope…is if you are struggling with depression, you will search for where you feel less than and begin to accept you can’t change the past, so look ahead look up and feel abundant.

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.livelovellc.org

More recent Thanksgiving Past…

As most of you know Eric and I went to Hawaii to see mom and dad as well as, celebrate our twenty fifth anniversary. What you may not know is it was their forty ninth Wedding Anniversary on November 2nd! It was awesome. Therefore, Eric and I, took them out to eat for a special dining experience, on the ocean to celebrate.

Betty and I got all dressed up in our aloha dresses, adorned our beautiful outfits with Jewlry, by none other than Beautiful Bling by Betty. We were the cats meow!

As we drove up to the restaurant the torches were lit and the dancing fire illuminated the walk way, to a ambiance for love and romance. Ocean breeze, family and friends. Both our heads were spinning. Stop! Selfie time. I took a group photo with my handy dandy selfie stick. I really think we were floating on a cloud of happy emotions, to the extreme that we began reminiscing about times past, that we were all together and how wonderful it was.

Now let me stop right here! Don’t take me the wrong way, we all had a wonderful, fabulous, delicious dinner that night on November 2nd, 2017. But read on and see if you can see why I blame the ‘ambiance’ of this romantic evening on the stupidity, Betty and myself were about to begin and continue.

As we told our friends, who were joining us, about the different family gathering memories, we had. Everyone could feel the flucuations of happiness then the wave of, just a smidge, of sadness. (Not because we were unhappy now, but sometimes it is sad when so many traditions have changed).

That’s when it happened. I had one martini and I don’t know which one of us spoke up first, but one of, Betty or I, said, “We should have an old fashion Thanksgiving dinner. Mmmm all that good food, Uncle Ben’s Wild Rice, gravy, broccoli casserole. That is it.! Let’s do it!”

We both so eagerly shook our heads in an accepting manner of how ‘good’ of girls and wives, as we truly are! Almost as if all of the grand things we have done for our families, came down to the most memorable times.

The guys attempted to talk us out of this grandious, hair brain scheme of ours. But no, no they weren’t talking us out of it! We were sure this would be a fun time and we were jumping in with both feet first!

As the days and nights went by, we were busy, busy. Hoola class, beach hoping and bike riding. Shopping and enjoying each other’s company. Until, Dum Diddy dum!!!! (Drum roll please) The day for Thanksgiving Dinner had arrived! Gosh has it already been two weeks? Naaaaa surely not!

The best way I can explain the affects of Hawaii is; every inch of your body is JELLO. Worries cross your mind, but flee as quick as they enter. If one thing I know, for sure, is going backwards to ‘The Good Ole Days’ isn’t as much fun as soaking up the sun in our ‘BEST’ days!

At least I felt like that. I was unsure if Betty felt like this so, I rolled out of bed and began to create a list. The entire time I was writing I would write a dish and then write beside it a label…difficult or simple. Which meant I was already back pedaling from all of this ‘traditional’ crud. Yes, it was fun, but it was a great deal of work, especially for Betty and I because we had always been the two who seemed to expect ourselves, to work alot, to please as many as possible.

Now don’t get me wrong, we have always enjoyed our families and have both taken pride in our efforts to open our homes and demonstrate loving hospitality. (Of course she is better at being more hospitable than me, but she is a better cook too, so who cares, I love and accept myself lol).

However, at this point I was pretty sure we were both over the ‘Old Fashion’ Thanksgiving dinner. When she saw my list she began to laugh and laugh. She was like this is alot of work isn’t it?

Many funny epiphanies came to me, during my process, of getting ready and I shared them with Ray and Eric. Both men quickly reminded me,”We tried to talk you both out of this! But nooooo you insisted!”

I stood there similar to a statue, listening to everyone’s chatter. How true were their claims? In all actuality , extremely true! Brutally, honestly, TRUE!

We had done this to ourselves!

Now let me wrap up the story part, before I bring it to full circle!

We had the best visit with mom and dad than ever before. We both truly enjoyed being in their presence and in paradise. Betty and I cooked a Thanksgiving meal ‘traditional’ Drake’s style!

Of course, I assisted, but my dishes fell under the simple or some even bought category. However, we pulled it off! It was the most mouth watering, delicious, fabulous, exquisite meal I have had in quite sometime.

I am grateful for the entire vacation and will cherish the sweet memories throughout our visit.

However, I learned some valuable lessons from the entire dinner ordeal. I feel it’s best to bullet them…

  • You don’t always have to relive a tradition to enjoy the memory.
  • When you are feeling stressed about something almost like a regret, talk to that person, be honest. You never know they may feel the same way.
  • Sometimes what we think makes other people happy, is not real, ask them if it is something they feel emotional about. For example: our husbands could have cared less, what we cooked, they were grateful we cooked at all.
  • When looking back at a memory and it feels all warm and fuzzy enjoy it, but ensure before you say you want to relive it, you remember the entire story.
  • For example: I love my children so much and I must say I enjoyed raising them, but to say I would want to relive it would be ludicrous.
  • Although we were resistant the day of, we readjusted and shopped one day and cooked the next. Allow yourself readjustment time. If it is a bad time in your life pause and allow yourself to rethink and readjust, how you feel. (No this wasn’t a bad time in our life. It was actually funny how great of a time it truly was, but this works if you are having a worse time, than we were).
  • Feel it? Feel just how you feel right now. If you don’t like this feeling, then ask yourself, how do I want to feel?
  • What will bring you closer to that?

Thank you for reading this posting.

I am truly grateful for you! Wish you the best.

Want to host a Happy Coaching Session for your friends? Or maybe a Happy Celebration for your employees…email us

Livelove.teena@gmail.com

Livelove

&

Carryon

Written by: Momma Teena

Let’s do this!

Ever wake up with a sense of determination for whatever reason? Like you dream about something and it impresses you, so much, you want to ensure to remember, every little detail? That was my dreams last night! Last few postings I have discussed some ‘new’ techniques, I had learned from Louise Hayes. You lay down, speak outloud, what you are grateful for. Also, before you jump out of bed, inhale, exhale, and count your blessings one by one. And don’t forget the best most delicious of all…plan your day, but keep it light, to ensure you ALLOW the happy, little stops, throughout the journey.

I think I have now said, “I love, accept and appreciate myself over a thousand times, since I began, last Monday.

Pssst…I will tell you a little secret, it has been simply amazing!!!!! Has every little adventure been perfectly planned? No! Have I been smiling like a cat ate the canary every moment, actually, Yes I probably have.

You might ask how? How has it been simply amazing? I have observed a change in my trajectory of the way I visualize, the way I speak about me, the way I handle others conversation and most importantly, I am continually presented with more and more terrific opportunities.

No, Jimmy Fallon’s producer hasn’t called, YET!! However, the other special events, have been simply precious and awesome.

(I must go off on a rambling session for one minute, just read along, it will make you laugh and laugh).

The Jimmy Fallon discussion has turned into a funny story. The other day I was being a little more daring with my writings and tweets. You can call it a little frisky. I tweeted that Donald Trump should let me interview him AND I was ready to have the Jimmy Fallon show call me, to be a guest. If nothing else to introduce, ME. lol

Yes, I have a published book, a business (that is kind of sitting out on the Web like a pet rock, for now, holidays )

Yes, I have a wonderful message for the world. But I do realize, I have to do some more leg work before the big Cahooga!!! Jimmy Fallon.

However… (here is the funniest part of my day) I tweeted a few tweets, wrote about him and then about two hours later, I was writing, and my phone rang. (No big deal, right?) I looked at my phone and it said New York City!!!!

I heard that commercial, “NEW YORK CITY?”

I was like oh my, my little old tweets to my over 300 followers lol, must have traveled fast!!! Hahahaha, if you are not laughing yet, it’s time to begin!!! 300 followers, that’s comical in itself, can’t wait until it is 10,000. Why? I really don’t know why, just because.

Yes, I starred at the number at least through five rings. I planned what I was going to say, how and oh don’t forget to ask questions, Teena. Don’t scream in the phone! This isn’t the publishers Clearing House, even though to me it felt like it!!!! I guess you know after five rings the phone usually switches to a voice mail. It did!

No message. Hmmmm, they are probably going to call back, due to, they are so busy and all. I seriously spent the next hour writing down responses, practicing in the mirror, I even returned to 13 year old, Teena, and pretended I was speaking with Johnny on his show. Minus the colored cigarettes. Yes, as a child I would catch a glimpse of ‘Johnny’, while at a friend’s house and then come home, curl up in front of the vanity in my bathroom and light a colored cig, which had a gold tip. I would smoke it and blow out the smoke so elegantly and pretend I was responding to Johnny. (I know I was too young, but I was dedicated to playing the role). This is one reason, I feel so strongly about what we as entertainers do, I was one of those kids πŸ˜‰.

Anywhoo, back to the phone call! I went about my day, checking the phone, practicing my words carefully and then a New York number called again. This time I was on it!!!! I picked that phone up, pressed the button, Hello…long pause on the other end.

Ohhh I am so excited, I knew it, in my head I am scrambling for a good date for me, to be a guest. Actually, if they would have asked, “Can you be here, tonight?” I would have been on a plane in an hour, lmao!

But we all know that wouldn’t happen, just a funny thought. (You probably already know what happen next, but I will complete the story).

Finally, after the long pause, I hear a loud room full of operators and the sweet lady says,”Can you hear me?”(in her sweet attempt to speak fluent English she couldn’t ask the question well enough to receive what she needed) Yes, she was attempting to get me to say, “Yes.” So she can record it and try to use it for identity theft or whatever, I don’t know what reason!!!.

However, instead of saying, “Yes.” I said, “What? Hello are you with the Jimmy Fallon Show?”

She repeated the question, “Hello, can you hear me?” I didn’t say yes, (I had figured this out, but it was good practice, for when the producers do call), I proceeded to say, “No, but it’s okay can you hear me? ”

She stammered around trying to find a cue card, how to confuse me or divert my crazy talk! However, that didn’t stop me!!! “Ohhh you really are from the show!!! What? You would like for me to be a guest on the Jimmy Fallon show? What day is best for me? Hmmm I love Mondays.”

The entire time this lady is attempting to be persistant!!! However, I can hear her voice becoming irritated. “Mam! No, CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

Now let’s freeze this for one second! Obviously, lady I can hear you. No, I am not going to say yes. Why wouldn’t you give up! She finally became super frustrated with me and hung up, abruptly I might add.

Well!! I guess that was a good practice run. You know, I don’t feel bad. And to be honest I have laughed and laughed about the event.

Okay, I hope you had a good laugh, as well. Take time, today, to pause and be grateful.

Then everytime you think of it say, “I love and accept myself” or “I love and appreciate myself.” It is simple.

However, the impact on your life is POWERFUL!

No, just from beginning this process, I may not have received ‘that call.’ However, it is on its way and when it arrives, with all my practice, I will be READY! Life is meant to be enjoyed. You are wonderful, don’t forget that!

Livelove & Carryon

Ohhh PS. I have finally created or been divinely given a new writing and recording name: Momma Teena! I will write about it later on!

Www.livelovellc.org/home

On a role…

Roll or role? Which is it? I have no idea, but I love them both. I woke up this morning with the most clear and intuitive thoughts. It was similar to a fog clearing and lifting from the river as the sun, peeks over the Kentucky rolling hills.

I promised myself, before I went to sleep, today would be a new day. A day of new thoughts, ideas and intuition. I began with all my blessings. I counted them one by one and still counting, with every breath I take.

You see, I have been struggling with a little bit of self doubt and confusion. As my company, which is quickly evolving into our company (with new team members being added daily), evolves and is reinvented on a moment by moment basis, I struggle with the branding portion.

I have acquired some amazing gifts and messages, that I want to share with the world. In hopes to enrich the lives of all who experience this opportunity. Sounds like a Miss America Pageant answer to World Peace , I know! You don’t have to tell me.

Skip down to last three paragraphs, the message is at the end! It says you are AWESOME!

Ohhh, so you want to be another ‘guru’ of motivational speakers changing the world? Right? (You might ask).

Hmmmm, the truth is…well to be honest… (Pause, take a deep breath in and blow it all out)…My heart is beating so loud, I can’t hear the clicking of the key pad.

Yes! No and yes!

That sums it up. I hope you understand…

Okay, the truth is one day a friend of mine said, “What if, instead of expecting anything we wake up and be grateful for what we already have and lovingly accept the new, latest and greatest ‘best’ for us, that will arrive each day.”

This was a twist from any mind set I had ever expected. The law of attraction, with the law of allowing-receiving.

I know it seems too simple, but it’s better than the alternative of thinking or expecting all negative outcomes. This twist in my perspective truly assisted me in healing after a tragic accident. Led me to many adventures and most of all illuminated, who I am.

I have spent the year of 2017 developing, researching and experimenting with a wide variety of emotions and reactions, as well as, how to live the BEST possible life, I can live. I have identified my desires/dreams/goals, that will assist me in the ultimate outcome!

So why do you struggle with your company?

The answer is, I am still on the how! How do you be financially profitable, open a company that is based on a message, vision and a dream that is so big, it feels explosive, and yet difficult to attempt to, Brand it.

That’s where this promise, to myself, came in handy. I woke up clear! Created a plan, spent most of the day being super grateful, set a small schedule, to gather items for ‘The Big Day.’

Although, very little of my plans truly occurred today, I will say this day is another one for the blessed and memorable days. Not sure I can even describe it to create a clear understanding!

Does it really matter? No because my ‘role’ and my ‘roll’ just became greater than I had ever expected! I am in awe!

If you are struggling with self doubt, regroup. Pause, for one minute, then another. This too will pass. Begin to say out loud I Love and accept or approve of myself. As Louise Hayes explains it, “Say it 200 or 300 hundred times a day. Sing it.”

You are amazing! You are acceptable. You are ____________!!! Fill in your own blank.

Share your talents with the world, we need you and your knowledge.

Think loving thoughts, the best is yet to come!

God Bless!

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.livelovellc.org

Change is inevitable; Self Doubt is a reminder

As we all know change occurs second by second, whether you control the change or simply allow it, now that ‘changes’ EVERYTHING! However, what about self-doubt? What part of self-doubt can assist us in dealing with or controlling the change in our lives?

Could it be that self-doubt is a reminder that you can control how the, inevitable changes, occur in your life.

If we know changes are going to happen, we know everything in our lives, is not going to stick to the plan, why not utilize those ‘not so good’ self doubting, moments to empower you?

How? Simple, recognize that self- doubt is that friend that forces you to think about the worse case scenario. No, I am not an advocate for ‘what ifs’ however, what if, this doubt serves a vital purpose in accomplishing great things or taking the simpler, more paved road and enjoying the ride.

Either or the opportunity to recognize this moment of wallowing in what has been or could be, can be (if you choose) a great asset to your ‘happiness’ tool box.

Next time you experience that moment of OMG! What am I doing? How will I find my path? I can’t do this, I am not good enough! Moments, choose a time to let it go.

For example: You are stepping out on a limb, the limb feels wobbly and you are contemplating what can, will or might happen. You would weigh all the outcomes/options and either set a limit of how far you can go or keep walking and see what happens. Either or you will have change. You will have an outcome. You also chose all of those outcomes!

Set a time frame to poop or get off the pot. If you want to control or learn to enjoy all changes, when self-doubt appears, allow it for a set time or space.

Next, be grateful for the opportunity to weigh all options and MOVE ON. Allow the short-lived negative emotion to propel you into the wonderful, terrific, fabulous life you have always wanted.

I am so excited for us! As I am allowing my life to be utilized as a messenger. A messenger for you and I to live for the best in and of you & me.

I know life has hit you upside the head several times! I know when just arriving in the valley, you struggle with seeing a way to begin climbing to the top, again.

This change has been since the day you were born. When you took that first breath you began adjusting with the changes in environment, how you ate and how you slept.

You have what it takes to live the life you have always wanted. It’s up to you, how long you allow the changes to hit you, like a ton of bricks. Or how you utilize self-doubt. Either or you will have change, you will experience down & out times and only you can decide how to allow self doubt to assist you or hender you.

Livelove

&

Carryon

http://www.livelovellc.org/home

The real mammogram, part two…

Somebody, asked, “Which part of the last story was fiction?”

I giggled a little until I was almost rudely laughing in my friends face! (Good thing she knows me). Anyways, as I attempted to get it straightened out, I replied with, “You know me! I will never admit how silly I am, especially about going to the doctor.”

She looked at me with a half glare and a half stare. However, she figured out I was only admitting SOME of it was true! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

This next story I may have written about, before, but I do hope to help any other big chickens, like me, get their mammogram!

After my crazy escapades throughout the day, I did actually miss my first mammogram! When I arrived, I apologized over and over again. (Thinking, she would be rude and snippy because I messed up the schedule).

The sweet lady, probably around thirty, said, “Calm down! We have mix up in schedules all the time.”

“Now give me a minute, I will look at the schedule and see what we can do.”

I thought, “Wow! She is simply precious!”

As I waited, shifting my foot from one side to the other, looking around and day dreaming of another day I could take off work, to of course, finally get this over with! I think maybe December or… January would be better after the holidays!

My thoughts were rapidly interrupted when, Margaret (whom I thought was a sweetheart) said, “Just have a seat, we have an opening in like fifteen minutes!”

WHAT? Now wait a cotton pickin minute! I wanted to shake my head noooo in a random motion and take off sprinting for the door! I think I can make it if I take proper position, get set, ready, GO! Okay no, I didn’t sprint out, instead I took a seat.

When she called my name, I can remember thinking, you got this, no worries.

The nurse took my vitals and she said, “Calm down Mrs. Drake. You are making your blood pressure be elevated.”

“Okay…I am really trying.”

Then I stepped on the scale and thought I would make a joke, I snickered and said, “I think I need to have somebody break my elbow, so I can’t get the fork to my mouth.” (Laughing and laughing at my own joke).

“Naa, it wouldn’t work they would hook straws together and feed you milk shakes!”

Oh boy, she is good! She never missed a beat, said it and kept on walking. Before she left me in the ‘other’ waiting room, she did giggle and remark with, “That was funny though, keep the utensils from your mouth!” Shakes her head and walks away.

In the beginning it was one large breasted lady sitting with me. She was kind of a mixture between Rosanne and/or the blonde medium, on tv. (But not as dolled up as the medium).

She began, “Hello, it’s your day eh? Mine too! They sometimes get you in and out, but other times you must wait.”

I smiled and didn’t say anything, I couldn’t have anyways!

She continued,”Don’t you hate these things? My husband told me he would take me out for dinner after this because he knows how bad I hate them. Don’t you hate them?” (She sucks in a huge breath of air to ensure she would have enough to finish her rambling).

“I mean and really they could get a better technician, she always has cold hands and a crappy personality. She is not personable. Why do they hire old bitter-bitties to do such a delicate job? I mean it hurts when she smashes these into that machine! Then she says get closer, stand up straight, suck it in, let it out, don’t move. All the while she is pulling and turning my boobs.”

Shew, she took a breath, but only to end with, “Don’t you agree?”

Don’t tell her Teena, just nod your head and let it go! It’s all I could think. However, I am really honest and of course I said, “I don’t know, I have never had one.” (With a quiver in my voice).

“What!!! Oh let me see, let me see.”

She turns me towards her, as if she was going to give me an exam. Looks at my breast and says, “You should be fine, I have alot of boob, so it hurts me more.”

As she was reliving all of her past mammograms and how horrific they were, a small framed, yet tall, lanky woman had slipped in the waiting room and strategically sat down, closest to the door. She quietly, almost as if she were talking to herself, chimed in, “I hate these things, my boobs are so fragile, it hurts and her hands are so cold,” (As if she frequented the mammograms so much, she knew the technician, like they had coffee together every week).

This clucking chatter continued to grow by leaps and bounds. As the loud, boisterous lady continued to attempt to ease my mind, new ladies appeared one by one. All had a new horror story. Some where about others and yet some were almost coming to life, as they relived each detail, of the dreaded, torturing mammogram!

If you have never had one, READ ON! It gets better, I promise!

As each name was called to enter behind ‘The Door’ I decided to change the scene, for me!

I mean (not trying to offend anyone), but I love my breasts. And I will do anything to keep them, even if it is essential, to endure a little pain.

As I slowly approached the gigantic door, I remember, physically lifting the girls up a bit, as to reassure them, “We got this!”

The small, late fifties, technician repeated my name, our eyes met and she began, in a robotical way, to explain what was about to happen and her expectations of me. I listened intently, looking for a joke to slide in and break the ice. There, right there Teena… “Now, Mrs. Drake there might be some discomfort, please just bare with me…”

I abruptly interrupted, “Mmmm I might like it…” (Pause, hold up, rewind, I quickly stopped my silly joke).

“Did you say pain?” (stammering around as if to explain I wasn’t meaning the pain, I would like, ummmmm, I was just trying to joke…)

Okay, it’s time for me to panic. I tried to explain my silly words and attempted to nicely tell her, what all I had been told about her. Of course it came out all wrong and I was for sure, I offended her. Until she had my right girl in her cold, bony hand then added the other one…awkwardly I jumped and shivered, a bit, as she gently placed it where it needed to be. As she began to release and LOWER the smasher hammer (I do not know what it is called), a quick pause, briefly happened and as the fear appeared on my face, we both BURST INTO LAUGHTER!!!!

“I mean do you ever think about telling people what you really think?” I asked as my laughter continued through each word.

“All the time! I mean it’s not like I am going to punch you and I try to be careful, but I only have so much, I can do.”

I chimed in as to assist her in her case, “Exactly, it could be worse.”

Not only did we become friends, I survived my first mammogram without a bruise and both girls intact!

Just remember everything is all based on perspective. How you perceive the world around you is, how you perceive yourself. Follow your path with a joyful heart!

God Loves You, No Matter What!

Livelove

&

Carryon

The message is clear, life is too short to live in fear. Enjoy the now.

Www.livelovellc.org/home

(Hope to see you December 8th!)