Category Archives: parenting

One two buckle my shoe…

Three four shut the door, five six pick up sticks…you know the rest of the nursery rhyme. I know it sounds silly, but all my mind has let me do, for several days, is repeat nursery rhymes over and over. Jack be Nimble, Mary had a Little Lamb and so on. Why?

One reason, is my baby boy is off to college and I continually reflect back to the simple times of nursery rhymes. Each time I feel a little sad I think of another one, say it, then become a little relieved with a smile and a giggle. The cycle repeats itself each time we dig through an old box or give away some old action figures.

I am excited about the next adventures in our lives. I am estatic while watching Nicholas grow into a beautiful young man, who is following his heart. He has a plan and is sticking to it.

When I become teary eyed he wraps his big arms around me and says, Mom, I love you and it’s gonna be okay!”

I KNOW, I KNOW! I wouldn’t want to have children who weren’t thriving and following their bliss! I know I can’t fix up the house enough to entice them to stay with me and nor would I want that. However, at this moment at 6 AM, I feel like gathering them all up and saying,”Okay, change of plans! Today, we are all going to curl up on the couch and read Dr. Suess. Or hey let’s go to McDonald’s play land!”

Back to the nursery rhymes…Little Miss Muffett, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall…yes, I know it’s a bit creepy. All I can say it is my brains way of coping with the ‘adulting.’ When I become fearful of the changes, I search for something from their childhood that is simple.

Aren’t these emotions normal? As I read my sister-n-law’s blog “When the kids grow up” or @Jennifer Reynolds Drake on Facebook, I feel comforted and realize, I am not alone. Her last paragraph (which I will share her post after I complete this writing) sums it up best: “And now we can settle in the fact that we’ve raised our kids to the best of our ability, we’ve entrusted them into His hands, and that the biggest growth comes from change.”

I realize change is inevitable. I am evolving to a level I have only dreamed of, in the past. Why now? Because for the past twenty six years I have been in my bliss being a mommy. And YES, Jenny, you are correct they still need me and will continue to call, I know that, but it is a little scary.

As for today, I am continuing to reflect on the funny memories and looking ahead to the next chapter. Most importantly I am enjoying each moment in the present! All we have is Right now! Take time to find your moment or nursery rhyme to bring you to a moment of sweetness and enjoy where you are right now.

One-two buckle my shoe, three-four shut the door, five- six pick up sticks, seven- eight lay them straight, Nine-ten let’s do it again, PLEASE!

God Bless!

Livelove

Judge and ye shall be judged? 

Okay not sure I should call the funny, yet frustrating incidents of the day, a form of judgement. I will let you decide and let me know.

One incident was when a good friend of mine stopped by to just talk. Hidden in our chit chat, it was obvious he was  trying to fill the empty space or void, while his son was away. I remember thinking he is entering high school you should probably let go of those reigns a bit. So if that is a judgemental thought, to you, then my title is on target. 

Then it happened! As I ran my son to his college orientation, I would glance over to look at my six foot three baby boy and think I just hope he won’t starve to death during college. I don’t know why we think, all throughout our children’s lives, they are capable of anything, only to set them free in college and think they are going to fail, because they dont have us to remind them to eat. 

It’s comical to me, how many times I will just question a little bit of what someone is saying and next I will experience a similar incident moments later. Almost as if Judge and ye shall be judged is extremely close to law of attraction! Hmmm or does this statement sound more like Newton’s Law Every Acton has and Equal and Opposite reaction. Wait!!!! I have one more Like begets Like?? I am sure you see the connection between the laws.

Two messages for today…be careful with judgements. I realize this wasn’t a disastrous situation, but remember, my only consequence was a thought or worry about something that is not real. Nicholas is more than capable of feeding himself and seveal others, so I hear. However, what if you pass judgement on someone and it damages them for life. Guess what? You will feel that same horrific judgement. I am sorry but it’s the Law!!! 

The second message is your kids are okay. If you worked with your kids, instilled good morals and values, nurtured them; they will remember to eat when they go to college!!! 

God Bless!!! 

Livelove 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…

Several years ago a small ‘pocket book’ was published illuminating this topic ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!’ The author gave scenarios and demonstrated how silly it is to worry and fret over the silly annoyances in life. I have each one of these books, to remind me to take life with a grain of salt. To seek the adventure life has to offer! Take the challenge allow your inner being to sing thru you.

Once you have decided and began this journey of being in the moment and making decisions based on your inner feelings; you will always want to feel this way.

However, in life we all have moments of sadness, irritation, aggravation anger that we must deal with from time to time. Recently I have found that freezing it in my mind, walking away and them come back to discuss or determine a solution is best for me. You see, in the past I would resist, argue, return ugly insults, ect. Now, I choose to not even utilize the negative vocabulary. Oh yes it creeps in at times. However, for the most part I choose a better reaction or to not react at all. It depends on the situation. 
For example: I had a conversation with a friend and she was in a bad moode. Everything was wrong in her life. Her kid was a brat, didn’t have enough money, felt trapped. Listening to her talk was almost unbearable. I just kept thinking, stay calm, listen there is a reason for this conversation. After a little while and multiple attempts to change the conversation I feared I would say something to offend her. (Remember I lost my filter at the first break in my leg lol). Anyways, she was finally called away. I love this person and she needed to vent! I allowed her to do that for a small portion of time. The only problem is I was carrying this yuk, negative, irritated weight of emotion for her. I cried for her, the pain was real. 

What do I do? Hmmmm I decided to plug in my phone and leave it home. I went to the pool and immediatly put my entire body under water. As I came up after a few seconds, I realized I had taken my own advice. I froze the situation and went to my fun happy place, water!!! (Yes, water of any kind takes me to a calm loving state). As I began my physical therapy I would search my paradigm for a good feeling thought. A vision of the future or a memory from the past. It was similar to the characters of Inside Out, running around plugging in emotions. Finally, I found a few to distract my negative emotion. 

Later, that night I called my friend and said, “I love you and I want everything to be okay for you. If I can help in any way let me know.” 

At that moment I realized I should take my own advice!!! She was laughing and continued to tell me about her little boy and how cute he was being. Her husband had cooked supper and bought flowers. She basically was a changed woman from four hours earlier. I hung up the phone, looked at my husband and said, “Yes, I have more writting material.” 

Therefore, when I refer to Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, I mean don’t sweat other people’s small stuff either. My mom would tell me in the past…you call me and compla in or discuss your relationships  then you are off in an hour back to honeymoon phase. Isn’t that true? We all have that loved one who listens no matter what. Who loves us unconditionally who listens and cares so deeply that they will take on those emotions for us. My mommy does that for me. I try now to call or go see her after the fact and explain it’s all good. I don’t always remember, but most of the time I make the effort. 

Take time to enjoy. Remember the small stuff is not worth it. I would not have changed listening to my friend, she was having a legitimate melt down for a moment. However, next time I will send her the energy I did this time, I will see her feeling better, but I will not allow myself to sweat it or hang on to it!! 

I promise parents!!!! Most of the crazy, mixed up, emotions that follow parenting just means you need to keep following and reading my blogg. Because you can feel blissful even in the midst of chaos. Once you have incorporated a few simple techniques, you will be able to look back and say shew, we made it!!! And had fun while we were doing it!!!

No matter what ‘Be Happy’!!!!!!! If it makes you happy do more of it. Find time to laugh, enjoy. Yes, sometimes you will be presented with a not so good feeling situation. But do not sweat it!!! 

God Bless

Livelove!!!!!!

Why Grow Up?

Someone made the comment to me, “Teena will you ever grow up?” 

I remember thinking, hmmmm no I do not plan on it. Truly, I have already been there and done that. I can remember teaching with my friends and me telling them, I love kids because they haven’t accepted all the judgements, concerns, and hypocrisy of adulthood, yet.

When I say I have already done that, I have. You see as parents we are forced to ‘grow up’ or as I entitle it, conforming to society’s demands. However, I always searched for a way to spice life up a bit, by creating a fun yet safe environment to just be free.

While discussing parenting with some friends we all agreed, we should call and thank our parents for keeping us alive becausee we were fearless at one time. No barriers or connection to fear.

I am not saying you should become frivolous and not care about anything. However, if you take time to create a list of your daily activities and it consist of work, eating, cooking, cleaning and sleeping, IT IS TIME!!! Time for you to grow down a bit. Begin searching for something fun to do once a week. After you begin this journey you will search for more and more. It will become your quest. 

If you are a parent with children at home, my advice to you, is create a family fun time and an individual one as well. When my kids were little I would take a ‘Me’ day. (Probably Eric thinks I live in a me day, now lol). When we didn’t have money to go out, I created family fun days, For example: we had Wacky Wednesdays. 

Wacky Wednesdays or Terrific Tuesdays, Freaky Fridays, it doesn’t matter about the day or title. I knew we had to eat anyways. Therefore, I would make it fun!! Sometimes it was our attire: we all had to wear a hat, a tie, our clothes inside out, or maybe even pajamas. I would light candles, play music, allow the kids to help cook and set the ambiance. There were very few limitations (safety first). Sometimes it was a disaster, but I continually remember even the disasters were beautiful. 

We did everything from desert first, colored our food, and/or special music by the Drake kids. One of my favorite memories is – the evening we had saved to purchase some nice steaks, ice cream and toppings for the ice cream. We began with allowing the kids to create a ‘snow ball’ out of ice cream and roll them in the toppings, of their choice. They ate them first because life is too short to not eat dessert first!!! 

The next portion of the evening was our delicious steaks! However, (remember I only chose to grow up for those parenting moments necessary to assist my kids to stay alive and be accepted) I thought it would be fun to food color all of our food. Therefore, I colored the mashed potatoes blue and for some reason I colored the meat with GREEN. As the evening was wrapping up we were all sitting at the table, in the dark, with at least five candles. It was beautiful. Music playing in the background all the kids were excited and then…Darion needed some ketchup. I flipped on the light, Eric had eaten half of his steak and when I shined some light on his plate, he looked at his steak and immediatly yelled!!!! “Kids don’t eat the steak!!!! It is bad meat!! Teena throw this meat away.”

I turned and looked at my wonderful husband with a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?” 

At that point I realized what was happening and I began to laugh hysterically. The kids were sitting paralyzed, appearing to be in a trance, as well as holding their breath. They all three fixed their eyes on daddy to see if he was mad. Therefore, a ten second period of silence felt like an eternity. Next we all begin to let out a little giggle and one by one each of us began laughing until our cheeks hurt.

Regardless of anything negative happening the end result was all we needed. To laugh, giggle, and let go. 

It’s time for you to choose to enjoy!!! If you have five wonderful events fall into place which creates happiness for you, yet one not so happy slips into your realm, similar to our meat incident; focus on the other five! If you can laugh at your one negative situation and quickly switch it around, then do that. No matter what take time be grateful for the good moments and guess what? More and more good moments will occur.

There is a time and a place for everything!! I agree growing up isn’t so bad! As long as you promise to return to the bliss, honesty, and freedom of being a child occasionally, you will have a great life and happiness will fill your soul.

Livelove 

God loves you no matter what!!!! 

Remember to be happy even if it requires returning to a time when your life was much more simplictic. 

Make New Memories.  

Happy Magnificent Monday!! Everyone, that works with me or has worked with me in the past, has a Monday image of me. What is that? I love, love, love, Mondays!!!! I am not sure why but I love them, always have. This Magnificent Monday is no different. I want to share a valuable lesson I learned recently and my goal is to help you create a magnificent day too!! 

Make new memories is the topic for today. Begin with a memory you already have. Hopefully, your brain is on auto pilot and you immediatly think of a great memory. However, it is up to you what memory you choose. This doesn’t take long to see, feel, and smell the past place does it? Awe…for me it’s magically delicious. Sometimes it’s a childhood memory, where I ride my bike so fast that my long, beautiful, brown hair flys in the wind, attempting to keep up with the rest of my body. I remember feeling no stress, no worries or fears. Other times its an adult memory where we have laughed so hard our cheeks hurt the next morning. Find a great memory and enjoy!!! 

Why did I entitle this make new memories because after that terrific experience take time to notice something. When sitting in a group carrying on a conversation stop and listen to what people are saying. In the past I did this with my students in a visualization setting. The funny part is I found if the students didn’t have a good memory or any memory of a particular message then the experiment didn’t work. 

For example: I love to travel and any kind of waterway is normally my destination. Therefore, when we were prepping for a new Science topic I would begin with a visualization, for them to see, feel, or touch in their mind, about the ocean or a mountain I have hiked, anything to help set the lesson into action. However, what I found is if they didn’t have a connection I had to create it for them. (This is why so many people argue or disagree with standardized testing because the system test all children the same.) However, if they do not have a memory or a paradigm to reflect on and make new connections or memories. then it becomes a guessing game. 

So next time you are talking with a group of friends listen to the conversation and yourself talking. Do you have a memory to connect with? If not make new ones. Begin today to plan the GREAT memories. I always say on Magnificent Monday, “Good morning world!!! This is the greatest day ever, help me make great memories today and be a blessing to others!”

Never forget God Loves You No Matter What!!! God Bless!!!!!

Excited to the point of tears…

Picking up my baby boy has never been so exciting! I didn’t realize until today that we are a cell phone addicted family. Okay so I am a cell phone/ message addicted mom. I have not received a message or heard his beautiful voice in over 24 hours. I know that sounds crazy, but I can’t remember a time that I haven’t or been able to speak with him, because we always have a phone on us. His has been stolen! 

My only hope is that I don’t burst into tears, jump up, and run screaming when I finally see my baby boy. Okay, I know that was a great visual! I won’t do that, gosh I thought you guys would have more faith in me than that. Shhhh I will let you in on a secret, I don’t have that kind of faith either! I am writing to keep my mind off of it. Lolololol!!!! 

Ohhhh wait, could it be? I think I see him Yayayayaya I am literally tearing up. Okay have a great day everyone I will blog later. I have to go be an estatic mommy with tears, screaming, laughter, hugs and kisses too! 

God Bless!!! 

Is FEAR standing in your way of success?

As I wrap up my latest writings that I know are blessed and a gift, I begin to feel fearful. Fearful of what people will say, will my message be clear, will someone steal my ideas and there I will be just back to the daily grind? 

STOP! STOP! STOP! screams the tiny voice of absolute success in relationships, family, money, travel and fun adventures. Yes, everyone feels those feelings. Their mind plays tricks on them just like you. In the past it was my way of life. Ohh what if someone else gets mad or what if I hurt someone I worried about everything. Now I know there is enough for everyone. You and everyone around you can be happy and successful you deserve that and God wanted your life to be like that.

 Whatever story you read religious or motivational you will read about the humans’ happiness and celebration. Also how those who were truly happy where surrounded by like minded people.  

Therefore, when those fear of judgement, critical, fearful voice pops in your head, rigjt before you were embarking on the adventure of a lifetime, stop! Physically go to a mirror or look in your camera on your phone and say stop and shutup! Then smile really big wink and say, “You got this.” 

Then walk away! It is just a way to reset or rip up the weed seed you are sewing. Because remember what we reap we sew…but if we sew and stop the growth; we can replant and reap the success or outcome! 

God Bless!! You Are Amazing!