Category Archives: parenting

And then 8 more are taken from us! I wept and wept as I read the headlines of May 18, 2018

I must admit around 7:00 A.M. this morning I was being quite a brat! Complaining about the ‘lack’ of money to do some things I want to do. Then my flight arrangements became more hassle than it was worth. The low budget airplane company wouldn’t let me cancel my flight even with trip insurance, I bought from them! I was on a rampage! I was about to lose money and that makes me mad! I proceeded to my ‘complimentary’ breakfast in our hotel and continued to express my bitchy attitude with one of my favorite servers.

She was just as upset as me, that I was losing two hundred dollars! She said, “I would fight that girl. You know that is wrong!!!”

I shook my head in agreement and as I began to add the gooshy details to my sob story, a lady asked her for some more muffins. I bit a piece of bacon off and with a half-full mouth, nodded my head, and mouthed, “I will talk to you later.” 

The outside eating area was a bit chilly so I nestled in a corner seat, with a big cushion to prop behind my lumbar. As I ate my delightful breakfast full of all the ‘fixins’ I glanced up at the television to see what Trump or some other politician had to say today. I read 8 DEAD, School Shooting…again and again, it scrolled across the bottom of the screen. There were people all around me talking and laughing, some were even telling, what they were reading on the television, out loud to someone on a cell phone!

The room began to spin. Was I having a sugar attack? Was I being silly? My next emotion overwhelmed me as one tear fell on my plate, another, and then yet another. Within minutes it seemed to be a flood of tears. Drip, Drip, Drop, Drop, they bounced off my plate. 

I know it is wrong to judge others, but as I sobbed and sobbed, for a fleeting moment, I wondered why I was the only one who was sobbing over the report of Eight Dead, School Shooting. But in reality, this has become American’s reality. Are we becoming cold to the Headlines? It would be simple to do…as much negativity is reported on a daily basis. 

I rapidly began to read the sub-titles to ensure they had captured the shooter. No report! Come on at least let us know it is stopped. Still nothing! 

It didn’t matter anyway…we lost 8 more and at least 1 shooter which makes it nine too many. Where do we go from here? People around the world, citizens of the U.S. all citizens…Where do we go from here? We must find a way to begin focusing on the good in others and ourselves. Why can’t you be celebrated for your goodness? We all have it, we just don’t all recognize it. 

My heart hurts for the entire student body, faculty, and families who have had to endure such a terrible tragedy. Please know that my mission is to spread the awesome possibilities of mental healthy vs. mental filthy. 

I am unsure of the entire big picture of how I or my company can accomplish what we have set forth before us. However, each time I feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, and getting what others say is a ‘real’ job…something drastic such as this happens.

AND at that very MOMENT…I am reminded! Why I started this company, what were my thoughts and visions? What was at least 1 end in mind that I might have had? 

Oh yeah! LiveLove LLC plans to “Change the World, with ONE HAPPY THOUGHT at a TIME!” 

How? Hmmmm posting more blogs to make you think? Publish a book will be out soon, Professionally Motivational Speak at events, Life ‘Happy’ Coaching, and tell everyone I meet, “You deserve to be happy!”

If you do nothing else to assist us in our mission do me one favor…find a child of any age and tell him or her something good you see in them. Anything! 

If you are a parent struggling with an out of control child…listen to your vocabulary. Have you said anything nice to this child who continues to cause you grief? Or are your words always referring back to the many yesterdays of negative emotions he or she created? If you are so hurt that you find yourself going back down the dirt road of despair…pause and appreciate that you still have your child to be frustrated with. Recognize how much you do appreciate and admire about them and tell them. 

Please, we all need each other. We need to know that taking someone else’s life isn’t going to make them feel better. Nor is hurting someone else. We must educate our youth how precious they each mean to our future. How important their opinion, creative ideas, and sense of improvement is to our future societies? 

“I beg of our country to stop this nonsense and begin to focus on the good in all people. The world is your mirror your life is its reflection. It is up to you and me to do WHATEVER it takes to educate our world, ‘life is meant to be lived as Happy as Can BE’!” 

My theory is if I am happy, you, you, you, and EVEN YOU…are happy we have a bright little corner when we stand together. Then you add ten more happy ones with your infectious HAPPY thoughts then we now have forty or more Happies…standing together. Can you see how illuminated this becomes? 

Come Along with me on the Happy Trail! Tell ONE Person today a happy thought. Then try it again but add two more tomorrow. It becomes fun and before long our silly issues like…our son not continuing with college or our daughter didn’t get the highest honorary award. Or your teenager gets pregnant, fails a class, is disrespectful whatever may be going on today will not feel as painful tomorrow. 

We are sending you great love! All of you! To our Texas friends, we are sending the greatest love filled with as many happy thoughts as we can find. Through our struggles we find determination…Teena Drake. 

God Bless Each of You! 

If you need a little extra help coping with those ‘valleys’ in life email us Livelove.teena@gmail.com  Our promise is to find you the best life coach to assist you in finding a better you. 

As always…at LiveLove LLC we encourage you to-

LiveLove

Carry On! 

Follow me for more inspirational quotes or posts. 

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What does ‘feeling resistance’ mean?

Feeling resistance is when a situation, someone, or something makes you not FEEL very good. Maybe it is a toxic environment at work or home. Sometimes it is a silly comment or question and it rubs us the wrong way. Regardless of ‘what’ the resistance is, if you take time to allow it to serve you, then life will be much more fun. 

For example: I received a phone call about a situation back home in Kentucky. Actually a couple of situations have created resistance for me to explore. But this particular situation truly irritated my spirit! I spent an entire day coaching and continued to help others find their path. However, the call would not get out of my head! I would replay the scenario, comments made, and the situation like a day full of reruns on MeTV. 

Then I woke up this morning…feeling resistance, basically I was angry. Why did she ask me what she did? Why did I bring her family situation into myself? I am traveling, living the life I always wanted, in California and I have spent the past twenty-four hours feeling GRRRRRRRRR. Towards someone who I haven’t seen or heard of in years! 

Have you ever felt like this? Felt the resistance you didn’t ask for? I think we all have. My question is, WHY? Why does this happen and better yet how?

After my meditation I received the most beautiful message which answered my question…what does feeling resistance mean and why does it happen?

When resistance appears…pause and breathe deeply. Ask yourself, “How can this emotion assist me in recognizing the lesson?”

How can you be happy, joyful, appreciative, grateful, if someone is always rubbing you the wrong way or standing in front of you, throwing all the negative they have? Or bringing you into a situation that you didn’t ask for? 

Message: How can you feel blissful if you don’t feel resistance. How will you learn a lesson without resistance? If you constantly complain about something and then it is gone and you mourn, does that make sense? Resistance is a part of life. Not to dwell upon, but rather to learn from and either find a solution or to learn a lesson that does not need to be repeated. 

Reflect back to a time that this situation wouldn’t have affected you. Then ask yourself, “Why do I feel angry, sad, unhappy or resistant to this circumstance?”

Next, decide do you want to hang on to this emotion or have you learned the necessary lesson to let it go? 

For example: My expectations for the lady who contacted me where crazy. My anger stemmed from what we call ‘Mother Bear’ syndrome. Even though it had little to do with me or my family, my subconscious began to work overtime. Why did she say this or that? GRRRRR I felt like growling all day. Then I STOPPED! I meditated and requested clarity. (I also always include the Hawaiian Prayer to help me). 

After the message came to me…I realized this person was struggling with her own personal resistance. She trusted me to listen and understand. She needed a friendly voice to say, “It is going to be okay!” Although I did all of that, my question continued to be, “Why do I feel so irritated with this situation?”

My conclusion was I needed a little resistance to appreciate the here and now. To appreciate how things are always working out for me. To be reminded of how successful I already am and that one person’s opinion is just like a butthole, we all have one. 

However, she wasn’t even giving me her opinion, being hateful, or critical. I was the one who created the resistance. I was the one who allowed my brain to work overtime. 

Resistance does serve you. Sometimes it is a simple reminder that you are okay and other times it is for a lesson to be learned. Once that lesson is learned it is your job to move on and let it go. Remember, NO ONE can change the past, we can learn from it, but not change it.

If you are confronted with a feeling of resistance, take time to pause and provide it with enough attention, to ensure it doesn’t return for a little while. Allow your emotions to be indicators to determine what needs to be changed. 

Livelove LLC is in full swing. We are so excited about the Happy Coaching 101 and we have some ‘NEW’ adventures on their way. 

Facebook, email, instagram, tweet, snap, or message on here to find out how we can assist you in those moments of resistance. 

Life situations that you might need a coach for: Weight loss, depression, anger, irritation, mind-set, earning more money, successfully living to its fullest, parenting, divorce, school, and the list continues on. No need to struggle, we are here to help! 

Live Love

&

Carry On

Www.Livelovellc.org

Teenadrakeblog.com

Livelove.teena@gmail.com

K.I.S.S. Life

Keep, it, simple, silly! What? Yes, keep your life simple.

At this very moment I deleted an entire blog posting, explaining K.I.S.S. and how important it is. Then I realized you don’t have time to read all my lengthy explainations! Therefore…I am going to show you how to K.I.S.S. you life!

Scenario: You are experiencing sadness, a loss, a focus on what is. Basically, life to you, at this moment FEELS UGH! Whatever the circumstances are, you just can’t quit thinking about all the crud, going on right at this time.

Change your thoughts! 

Thank you, We are done here! 

Okay, I am joking. I realize how difficult life can seem, at times. I also realize it doesn’t work to continuously think about the ‘it’ you are concerned about.

(Definition of the IT- lover, kids, step-children, ex-partner, cars, jobs. In adult worlds the three hot topics are MONEY, WEIGHT or Body appearance, and LOVE.  A Kid’s world is similar, but they seem to change their perspective, much quicker)

How then do we fight this feeling of depression, sadness and/or Ughness?

Try this:

Without doing anything else…

Right at this moment…

Think of TEN of the silliest words, nonrelated to your It, and be as crazy and random as you want! Have FUN!!!!!

Let’s try this together…

You begin to tell me all your ‘stuff’ or how frustrated, sad, irritated, lonely, depressed, broke, unhappy or however else you feel.

Bubble Butt, pink poop, grasshopper slime, slurpy, hairy balloons (hahahah you thought I would say b_lls), frolicking, freaky, green burps, blurple!

Example: You as of this moment, “I cried all night because he said… (I am abruptly intterupting, hypothetically)

Pink Poop!” (Pause) You giggle…

You, “I just can’t believe someone would do this to me…”

Bubble Butt

Come on you are LAUGHING! Admit it!

Go ahead… Read or say the list out loud. Yes, out loud! Yes, while discussing all your crud or your IT! Do IT.

After you have stopped laughing. Do you feel better? Did your problem go away? NO, but it will. Because we know, “This too shall pass.”

It may seem to simple, but if you were to truly step back and analyze your life from this age and back, do you remember the difficult times? Of course you do. Do you remember feeling like you would NEVER GET THROUGH THIS? Of course you do! But you did!

You made it, You aren’t sure how, but you DID IT. Now reflect back…did worrying, crying and feeling UGH for a long period of time assist you in any way? Of course it didn’t. It only caused you more harm and you probably became sick, if you prolonged the worrying!

I realize LIFE can be tough at times. However, I have learned the more you K.I.S.S It the much easier, even the tough times, can be!

You are LOVED!

Livelove

&

Carry On

Need a little extra help, but not sure you need a psych evaluation? 

Or is it your child? Who needs a little extra help or tutoring?

Whatever your circumstances are we can help! 

Livelove.teena@gmail.com for more information on finding the BEST Life Coach for you!

Www.Livelovellc.org/home 

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Both of my granddogs are featured here to remind us to enjoy the simple pleasures of life…Mmmmmm sure does smell good!

 

Delete It!

Do you ever look at e-mails, social media, cell phones or anything else exposing your name and think…What if I deleted EVERYTHING! I never think of that either!

As I chuckle to myself about that last statement, I wonder if this is what our children think. Not deleting everything, but about life. For example, “Mommy, Have you ever felt like life was overwhelming? Have you ever felt like ‘giving up’?”

As the child, who is struggling with what may seem silly to an adult, ponders asking this question to their mommy or daddy.  I can only imagine what they think an adult would respond with. For example, “Of COURSE, I feel like giving up. Have you not seen all the crud going on? Ball practice, work, birthdays. But what do you have to worry about? You are being cared for.”

PARENTS! I am not saying you are doing anything wrong. I promise life is overwhelming at times and young parents today, have a great deal of pressure. Which is why I am writing this post.

If you have times of glaring at your connections to the world and you feel overwhelmed, then your child is probably feeling the same way.

Therefore, I am suggesting take time and DELETE IT! I know it sounds crazy, but when you are feeling overwhelmed with LIFE, make up a game with your family and have a delete it night.

Example:

  1. Explain to your children or partner, we are going to have a delete it night.
  2. Have everyone
    1. write their issues
    2. speak it
    3. sing it   Example: Child- I made an F, my friend was mean to me, Work was awful today. Everyone is allowed to share what they are feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or depressed about.
  3. Take time to listen to everyone’s sharing of their feelings.
  4. BUT! After each complaint EVERYONE says, “Delete It!”
  5. Or you can sing “DELETE IT!”

The point is to reverse the trajectory of your thoughts on what is and has been. Because you can’t change the past…no matter what!

Deleting it allows:

  1. Acceptance that everyone has down times and feels like giving up.
  2. A switch in vibrations.
  3. Allows everyone to see how life carrys on even when it feels cruddy at this moment…IT will get better!

As always…God Bless and KNOW you are LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY!

Livelove

&

Carry On

If you would like a little help with ‘Life’ let us know. Livelove.teena@gmail.com and we will begin your Happy Coaching as soon as possible.

Life is meant to be experienced.

Www.livelovellc.org/home

 

 

Mango and Life

Mango is a delicious fruit, filled with juicy sweetness to burst into your mouth a refreshing, satisfying taste. Life is a delicious journey with juicy, fun adventures to create similar emotions. But have you ever attempted to cut a Mango in half?

As I approached the beautiful fruit, my mind imagined the sweet flavor of the yellowish juicy fruit with some yummy cottage cheese. Combining the two to create one of the most wonderful dishes ever to be experienced. My taste buds were tingling as I reflected back to our visit with mom and dad (Drake), in Kauai.

We would gather Papayas from Ray’s garden, gently slice it open, long ways to gently scoop out the seeds, replace them with a scoop of cottage cheese and Wala! The best breakfast ever imaginable!

Pause…did you know that Papaya seeds are much easier to slice than a mango seed? I was not prepared for my next adventure. In my mind, I thought the two fruits were so similar that as I began inching my way around the Mango, I realized this is not the same situation!

First I created a fine line all the way around. Repeated the motion as I pierced the knife a little deeper into the fruit. Until I came to a point where my knife was not going any deeper. Without realizing the severity of the strong casing holding the Mango seed, I began to gouge at the center. As my fury escalated I felt my fingers squishing the outside (best) portion of the fruit. Juices are now streaming down my fingers attempting to reach my elbows. I am furious with this stupid seed. I peel back the skin portion, pause to lick my fingers, in order to get a better grip. Continuing to tug, stab and rip at the outer casing of the seed. I finally have one half of the fruit in one piece on my plate.

I felt satisfied, but the emotion of satisfaction only lasted for a fleeting moment. Although I was pleased to have something similar to my favorite breakfast in Hawaii; my attention was quickly diverted back to the stubborn casing around the seed.

Instead of enjoying the fruit with the cottage cheese created as beautiful as, I DESIRED! I…picked up the other half, which was still plagued with this white fiber-like casing, which holds the seed and begin to dig.

At this point, I am determined to remove all parts of this PIT! I begin to gently slice around the underneath of it. I carefully lift it up only to find there are still some attached. I begin to surgically cut more restraints to accomplish the task. My focus is fixed on the removal of the entire middle.

Not to save the delicious fruit, no that is not of any concern to me. Finally! TA DAAAA!!! I am holding the seed in my hand, along with its white fiber-like casing. Yes, I feel AMAZING! Thank you! Thank you very much!

Continuing to feel accomplished I take pictures, create a short video which I have included and begin to eat my breakfast. Only to have my attention diverted once again.

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My thoughts were, “Why did I have to remove this ugly, not enjoyable seed with its outside covering? None of this is the sweet portion or what I started out desiring when I began creating this dish.”

Next, I began to pick at my dish, I had actually created. “This isn’t like the Papaya. I don’t know if I like this. I am bummed. All that work and for what?”

My solution became simple, I just took a long way around to find it. In the end I cut the fruit into chunks and mixed it in with the cottage cheese. It was not the same taste, but its differences illuminated and isolated a different, yet equal flavor.

Does everyone else do this? Do you squeeze the sweetness out because you are obsessed with the pit? I didn’t plan to write about my breakfast, but the evolvement has been savory!

As I compare life to a mango…I wonder how many sweet-savory moments have I celebrated for only a moment because I was so obsessed with the flavorless pit or downfall. I was overtaken by the what ifs. So I had to delve in deeper and deeper until I found the root of all answers. The seed! The who, what, when, where and how this delicious fruit can to be so MAGNIFICENT! Instead of just enjoying the fruit. (I get it! Do you?)

But did I have to dig deeper and deeper to enjoy the fruit? No, I didn’t have to see, touch or taste the pit to know it wasn’t the best portion.

Are you digging for the seed? Or are you enjoying the fruit?

Livelove

&

Carryon

Happiness is a choice. Knowing how to find those choices is what we do best! For more information email us at Livelove.teena@gmail.com or Www.Livelovellc.org/home

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There is no greater or less than, when it comes to you…

As ‘life’ seems to happen around us, many people like to compare stories or talk about the issues. However, there is no comparisons between your story and theirs.

Of course we are all connected and as humans, we can all FEEL empathy or sympathy depending on our similar incidents.

But…everyone has moments of being depressed, sad, hurt, lost and disappointed. I can remember the day, my son explained that pointing out all the reasons someone should be grateful, isn’t always the best feeling emotion for someone suffering. I questioned why or why not, it always seemed to work for me. Highlighting all the reasons I should be grateful, how blessed I am and so on.

Nick explained how sometimes those comments are more detrimental to the person.

That was several years ago and to be completely honest, I didn’t truly understand.

Now, I do!

You see we ALL have moments where life feels overwhelming, too much and disappointing. Those who their stories, are well known and inspire others, but also you and me.

As I wrote and rewrote my speech for the area contest @Earlybirdstoastmasterskc, the days seemed to be zooming by. Closer and closer, my excitement was building and the anticipation of all the exciting opportunities, this club has to offer, was assisting me in working up the best message, I had ever written! Ohhh, if you could only feel my radiating excitement.

Yet, day by day in LA we had to jump one hurdle and then twenty five more or maybe a hundred more! (Okay I am being a bit over dramatic, as Ashby says).

But it is true. I could whine and cry about every little speed bump thrown in front of us, but where would we be then? Instead let me share what I have learned.

This week I had to let go of my first speech competition. It was to be on Monday February 5th. There were no guarantees I would move on to the next level, because our club has intense competition, but I wanted to attempt it, in the worst kind of way!

I had prepared and practiced the entire road trip from Kansas to LA.

As the hurdles popped up, some one at a time, others it seemed like fifty at a time, I began to realize my excitement was about to he turned into disappointment! With all the issues about having Princeton, I quickly realized my trip would be delayed, forcing me to step down from the competition.

Now this may seem silly to anyone else, but I cried and cried! I was disappointed, sad, overwhelmed and a little bit selfish. Most of all I was torn! This was my baby girl and very dear to me granddog. But I also wanted to attempt this competition!

Then my lessons began!!! Everytime I would express my disappointing emotions someone would share on Facebook or tell me about a horrific event. For example in the past month we have lost loved ones to accidents, cancer, flu and suicides. I would cry for them or add to my prayer list.

Yes, my silly little issues seemed trivial after all of that. I have so much to be grateful for, I know that.

Then I realized Nick was correct. Pointing out or minimizing our own disappointments, by comparison, is not fair, to you.

My epiphany was EVERYONE, experiences their own depression and disappointments. And YOURS is just as important as the next one. Because we are all on our own journey and life happens whether we are striving to improve or not.

And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE…this is a key to helping others choose to feel all the emotions, yet not give up.

The key is to allow yourself to feel the negative emotion. Express your feelings of disappointment. (Allow this moment). Do not worry about feeling trivial compared to other people’s issues. I am Not saying dwell on it and/or illuminate the situation, but rather, ALLOW yourself to have a moment of tears.

It is okay!!! There is no greater and less than, when it comes to you and how you feel. Maybe if we begin to allow kids and adults to say, “I feel like giving up.”

We will have less severely depressed or suicides. When I was having a moment of ‘selfish disappointments’ it felt good to allow the sadness, for a moment. It forced me to find solutions, it allowed me to be human, and it reminded me how quickly ANYONE can give up.

It is time we begin to allow our younger generations to know we have all been there. We have all had struggles and let it out. All of it! Say it if you feel it. It’s okay.

No matter how trivial it may be to others. Your disappointments, moments of sadness or maybe your losses are not comparable to others! You are allowed to say it because believe it or not… EVERYONE experiences negative emotions.

My greatest hope is…this post will help one person to choose life. If you are not feeling so well about something, say it! And quit worrying about comparing apples, arangatans, and kale spinach. This is YOUR EXPERIENCE! No one elses!

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.livelovellc.org/home

California? Again?

As I begin to unpack my daughter in California, once again, I reflect on my past experiences. A time when I questioned everything. Was I making the ‘right’ decision? What if…? The questions would race through my head. My fears were overwhelming. Should I allow her to follow her dreams at such a young age? What about her safety? What about my other daughter, who willingly volunteered, to be her guardian? Could she handle this gigantic move and undertaking? You see, my daughter had been signed by an agent and was asked to move to Los Angeles California, at the age of 17. We were estatic! The hometown circumstances, let’s just say, weren’t the best for Ashby, at the time. However, could my girls survive in LA??? They were raised in a small little Kentucky town and Ashby was still in high school. Darion had moved to Nashville at the age of 18, but I could drive there in four hours. And I spent almost 6 months of weekends in Nashville! Once the decision was made we took off driving across the country. That was four years ago and here I am again! She is now 21 and although I knew this day would come, it doesn’t make it any easier!!! After her last adventures, I knew she would return home. Back to California. It hasn’t been any easier, but it is rewarding to know she is where she wants to be. My brain will continue to race and question, “Am I making the correct decisions, as a parent.” However, all I want for my children is for them to follow their bliss. And that is what she is doing. You know I can remember thinking I wouldn’t survive, the last time. Yet, here I am four years later. If you are struggling with anything in your life, right now. Please, remember you are loved and if you can pause briefly…I promise, “This too shall pass!” God Bless Livelove & Carryon Www.livelovellc.org/home Livelove.teena@gmail.com Need some help with a situation in your life? Email me, I would love to hear from you!