It is now afternoon on December the 7th, 2018. I have done everything to avoid writing this blog post. I mean EVERYTHING from clean the dishes, take a short nap, meditate, I even worked out to STOP this post from being written. However, no matter what…it is what, it is and this heartfelt, deep, writing is much-needed.
Before I write any more, I must ask for your spiritual uplifting thoughts. For me as well as for you. This will be a posting that is like none other, I have ever written, but it is from the depths of my Valleys that I dare to share this story. My intentions are to inspire, encourage, motivate, and uplift you to live a full life. Not a humdrum life, but rather a spirit filled and led life. One of forgiveness, understanding, contribution, and LOVE above all else. If you will do everything in life including speak, teach, and be with LOVE in the center of your intentions, You will always LIVE and KNOW that you are loved, even in the darkest of valleys. For my part in your reality, I love you, I am so sorry, Please Forgive Me and Thank YOU! Thank YOU!
One year ago, I hosted my very first Happy Celebration! I spent the money to have food, a venue, invites, the entire ‘EVENT’ to celebrate the opening of my company Livelove LLC. I had great intentions, but as the flu reports rose and the snow began to blow, we were sure very few people would be venturing out. However, my friends, mom, and one man…did show. Therefore, the show must go on! I gave a shortened version of my speech/ seminar and the man who was ‘just passing thru’ stayed. After he enjoyed some snacks and listened intently he said, “You are on to something! Keep on telling this story. LOOK & SEARCH for people to tell your message to.”
I did not know this man it was our first encounter. He had a sweet spirit and was extremely encouraging. Later on my co-worker explained his circumstances and I dismissed the entire event.
Until, today! I actually thought of this man two other times, throughout the year. Once was at a local pub, my husband and I visited one time, since we were back in town and the following day.
You see this man’s words rang through my head the entire year. I would hear his almost appearing to be a plead, he would say, “Don’t quit sending out this message, you are on to something!”
When I mentioned seeing him out and about to my colleague, I was told some very sad news. This man had decided, planned, & completed SUICIDE! I began to weep as soon as I heard!
Yes, I wept for the loss of another life. I wept for his family, children, and friends. But just as you are reading this and relating it to your own life, I was doing the same! I wept for my life! I wept in gratefulness that I didn’t follow through with my contemplations. During my deepest darkest valleys, I too could have been another statistic. Another lost soul, begging to find a BETTER FEELING.
I can remember after my accident going to sleep at night and wishing to not wake up only to think the next morning how darn thankful… I did. I still cannot share with you all of my deepest valley times because my strength and new vibrations are focused on shining brighter. However, I can tell you I have been at my lowest…with a plan, process & all. Yet, I am so grateful I am a survivor! If you feel weak, depressed, and alone hold on tight to a happier color, a fun song or even a small compliment. You cannot imagine how many people who really do love you and I promise, “This feeling will PASS!”
You are important to someone. I PROMISE! This particular man lost hope like so many others I know. And the truth is they themselves did not complete the act out of spite to hurt you, their loved ones. In fact, the complete opposite is true. Many survivors will tell you they did not go through with it because they feared of hurting others. Not the other way around. That means that people who completed the act, simply felt like your life was better off without them. And still, afterwards, they do not want you to feel guilty or avenge their legacy. Instead, finding your own happiness is what they desire most. Ensuring that you NEVER FEEL LESS THAN is their greatest wish.
Fast Forward from a year ago and today. This year has been a blur to me. It has been full of changes, loopty loops, and flip arounds. As I reflect on 2018 many emotions have occurred, all beneficial. Sunshine Messages came about, close to the time the man I mentioned before, passed away. And today they serve many people. Whether they are struggling with Suicidal thoughts or dealing with other ‘life’ events. Sometimes they serve only to brighten someone’s day.
Many people ask me what Sunshine Messages are and where they come from and my shortest version of an answer is, “As I lay in the bed day after day, I would pray for easement, understanding, & a brighter day. My heart would feel heavy for fear I was not ‘doing’ anything ‘worthwhile.’ I begged for answers. Why? Why did this happen to me? Why have you forsaken me? Was I so BAD that I must endure such torment and pain? What about him, her, or even them…their wretched ways. Yet they are allowed to carry on? Why? Why me?”
My Answer, “Because you know a better way. You understand the light and how to vanish the fright. Because you agreed to be a messenger of hope, happiness, and LIGHT! Because you were born with this gift and you needed to be reminded. Because you are you and now you see, it is time to let your visions FREE!”
My Response, “SO YOU had to break my leg, allow me to suffer, feel defeated, beaten & broken? I was on my KNEES (which hurt even more)! Begging for answers, yet nothing? My anger rises to the sky! MY QUESTIONS are SHARP and FIERCE! Hey HELLO, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME? I AM ONE OF THE GOOD GALS? I am trying to do as you ask, but dag on how much more can I take?”
My Answer, “Not much more, be still, be patient, & LISTEN. Enjoy each person. Enjoy each moment. Only speak from your heart what your true desires are. BE PATIENT!”
My response, “Still here! Waiting!
Me, “Are you there?”
Me, “Am I CRAZY?”
My Answer, “Only in a fun way. LOL. You are Sunshine! You are shinning BRIGHT! When you receive the message act. When you question…pause, be still, & listen. Perfection is not the goal, because it is a label. Rather uplifting, spirit-filled, happiness, and JOY now those are the GOALS!”
FF today, YOUR SUNSHINE MESSAGE, “YOU ARE AMAZING! I am in AWE of YOU! YES, YOU! YOU are just like me, you are chosen to live a life full of joy, laughter, happiness, and love. Ask for what you desire. Live enjoying the blessings no matter how great or small! If you are struggling at this moment…feel the emotion and ask yourself ‘Why do I feel this way?’ I guarantee it is something from the past. Isn’t it time to LET IT GO? Not you or anyone else can reverse the past to assist us with the present! Goodness, everyone would change something if they could, instead think of how you want to feel tomorrow? How do you want to be treated? What does your life look like tonight, tomorrow, or next week? Guess what? That vision will come to fruition. If today is not a good day, hold on tight because tomorrow will be better. Perfect? Define it? If it is unachievable, then by all means, change your vision around until it fits perfectly with you!
If you are like Teena and many others who are Suicide Survivors, take time to be grateful for this moment. Dwell on all the Beauty in your life that you would have missed had that Valley time ‘got you’. You are beautiful! You are AMAZING! YOU need to SHINE! Share your story. Ask someone if they need a little boost. Send out love for others. And take care of yourself too!
Thank you for allowing me to share this message with you! Sending you relief, awareness, understanding, love & a great deal of laughter. Because life is about having fun & DO NOT FORGET THAT!
I attended a seminar about the prevention of Suicide a week ago and I learned so much. However, the most important lesson I have learned is, If you are worried about someone…ASK! Ask the question, “Are you okay? Are you suicidal?”
Sunshine Messages/Teena Drake