Category Archives: storms

Tony’s Letters

It was a cool Autumn day. The leaves along the hillside had began to change to their delightful tones of red, yellow, and burnt orange to decorate for the autumn season.

I had drove to town to ‘check’ Sunshine Messages post office box. With little to no expectations of finding a letter. It had been brought to my attention that ‘snail’ mail was considered a thing of the past, so why would I believe anyone would take time to write Sunshine Messages?

As I stood next to the recycling bin tossing one advertisement after the other into a sea of unwanted ‘junk’ mail, something caught my eye! A small, crumpled, letter. It was difficult to read due to the smudged letters on the outside. The address was correct…P.O. Box 173 Milton Ky. 40045. But it was not made out to Sunshine.

Hmmmm, I curiously flipped it back and forth attempting to decide if it was placed in the wrong mail box or if it was indeed a letter for Sunshine?

Leaving the rest of the rubbish behind, the letter went with me! It couldn’t have much in the envelope it was so small. It smelled of cherry cigars & tears. Who was this from? Without a return address, my curiosity was building more and more.

As I carefully opened the crumpled, envelope to read this mysterious note…I found 2 letters. They both had been ripped apart, tapped together, crumpled & tore several times. One, in particular, was extremly difficult to read. As I unfolded the first letter, I had to carefully pull pieces of tape apart in order to open it. It appeared that this letter was held together with tape & prayers.

The handwriting was messy & whoever had written this note must have been in a hurry!

“I am sorry I couldn’t take it anymore, I Love You All So Much. I do not want to hurt you. I am sorry daddy, I cannot be the star quarter back anymore. But know I Love You I really do Love You! I am So Sorry. Love, Tony.

Was this a joke? Who would send this to Sunshine? What do they want? The questions raced through my head!

Laying this note aside, I quickly opened the newer, less stained and damaged letter.

Hoping to find answers, as to why I have this worn, tattered, pieced together, smudged letter that made little sense to me! Who is Tony? And why is his letter in my post office box. The second letter read:

Dear Sunshine,

I have read your blog, watched your recordings & I am begging for your HELP!

You see this is my Son’s suicide note! I have wept many times over these worn & tattered pieces of paper. Begging & hoping to turn back time. Wondering how I can forgive myself for being such a terrible father and how I can forgive my son for not talking to me before he did what he did.

You are my last attempt. I have contemplated taking my life several times, even as I write this letter my desperation feels as if it will take me over. I have been put on antidepressants, spoke with countless counselors/psychiatrists, mediums and psychics.

I have a beautiful daughter and wife. However, I know they are growing weary of my depression.

My wife explained, two weeks ago, she had been thinking about leaving me. Not because she does not love me, but rather she cannot stand to see me in such a terrible state of mind and feels she cannot help.

They are the reason I continue to wake up everyday. I would ‘end it all’ if it weren’t for these beautiful ladies in my life. However, I love them so much and I realize how terrible the pain is when you lose someone to Suicide, that I cannot hurt them like that.

A friend of mine requested I try one last attempt to heal. She explained how you had assisted her when she had to say goodbye to her husband 2 years ago.

She told me how you eased her pain by providing her with Sunshine Messages. “If it weren’t for ‘Sunshine’ I wonder how I would have pulled through”, was her comment to reassure me you could help.

Therefore, I am writing to request HELP! In fact I have NEVER let go of his letter as I did to mail it to you. Yes I made a copy. However, this letter is his actual handwriting from the pen he wrote before he…

I am unsure if you can help me. However, I am Desperate! I am at the end of my rope! I do not have anywhere else to turn.

My address is included at the bottom of this note.

Here is what I would like to do. May I write a message to my Son, Tony and you deliver it?

Write back as soon as possible or email me.

Please, please, please do what you can!

Sincerely yours, Charles

I immediatly sat down to write him a quick note, explaining this might be beyond my capabilities. This was a great deal of responsibility and fear had come over me.

For example, what if I couldn’t assist him and he took his life, I would feel terrible. I suggested he call the Suicide Prevention hotline & return to his psychiatric care, immediately. My note was short & sweet, but definitely to the point.

I addressed the envelope and hurried off to return his and his son’s  letter. I ensured I would send him good energy and hoped he found his inner peace & forgiveness.

I sent the letter and washed my hands of that.

The following day, the lady. who had sent Charles my way, contacted me. “I hope you do not mind I sent you another person to assist in living his Best Life.”

She explained a bit more about his situation.

Apologetically, I told her how I wrote him back declining the opportunity to assist.

Although she was disappointed, she seemed to understand my decision. (Which was fear talking).

About a week had passed and I heard nothing more. I did wonder if I had made the best decision, I guessed he went on to seek assistance else where. I had already lost a great deal of sleep over his letters therefore, I feel that no news is good news.

Everything was back to ‘normal’ in Sunshine’s world!

Two more weeks had passed. My routine visit to the post office, continued to be standing at the recycling bin disposing of all the ‘junk’ mail!

As I tossed the last four Dish Network advertisements in the recycling bin I turned on my heels and begin to leave. Then I heard a sweet little voice , “Are you Sunshine?”

Funny thing is…I was on the verge of cancelling the post office box and focusing on texting or email. Maybe everyone was right? (I thought to myself) I mean this letter idea is not going to work. No one writes or mails letters anymore. My clientele was growing and everyone seemed to enjoy the text messages/emails, just fine. This P.O. Box was a waste of time…right?

I replied, as I looked up to see who was asking, “Yes, I am Sunshine. Why?”

A young lady in her early teens was standing there, staring at me with her hand outstretched holding a Pink envelope addressed to Sunshine.

“Where did you find that? Did I drop it?” I asked.

“No,” she curtly replied. Continuing to hold the envelope out, as if she was a little put out with me for not taking the letter.

The two seconds of silence were extremly uncomfortable. As I reached out to take the letter, she never seemed to blink or take her eyes off of me. I slowly attempted to take the letter and she pulled it back slightly, tilted her head, inhaled deeply, then in a snide yet calm tone, she asked, “Can you handle this? I helped you the first time because you doubted, but now it is up to you, Sunshine.”

“Okay, I do not know who you are nor do I understand what you are talking about, but if that is addressed to me…please give it to me.”

I took the envelope and as I read who it was addressed to…’Sunshine’, I was saying, “Thank You,” simultaneously.

Our conversation continued as I peered at the envelope with extreme curiosity. I was blabbing about my thoughts, inspecting the color and wondering if this young woman knew who it was from. As I began to ask, “Do you know who…”

I looked up to read her facial expression, attempting to infer her role in delivering this hot pink envelope. And…SHE WAS GONE! POOF! HAD VANISHED IN THIN AIR!

I quickly ran to the door, pushed it open looking for this young lady. I would never forget her expression and how she made me feel so strange. She was kind yet staunch. Cold with a twist of warmth.

Where did she go? Who was this young lady? She was not in the Post Office when I arrived…hmmmm where did she come from?

Startled and confused I left with the Pink envelope in hand! I couldn’t help but continue to look for the messenger. I wondered, where she came from and where she went. I was confused and filled with curiosity. What was she talking about, “Can I handle this and she helped me the first time?”

I have never seen that girl before, in my life! How could she have helped?

Maybe, the contents in this letter will answer some of my questions. As I carefully opened the letter I could smell a strawberry scent coming from the pink lined paper carefully folded and tucked into the nice neat Pink envelope. The letter said,

Dear Sunshine,

Thank you so much for my letter. It was if you had already received my letter to my son! I do not know how you did that, but your letter has changed my life! I cannot thank you enough. I hope you will have time to send some more letters. They assist me in forgiving Tony and I can make it through one more day. Thank you from The bottom of my heart, Sunshine! Your friend was correct in saying your messages can be described as magical. My only regret is that I didn’t write you sooner.

You see I have been mourning Tony for five years and until your letter, I have cried myself to sleep night after night, since the day we lost him! I have attempted to hide my sadness, but my daughter, who is now 15, begged for me to get help. She said she misses her daddy and she is beginning to feel hatred towards her brother because of it.

When she said she could hate her brother is when something snapped in my head! Was I actually HATING my son for doing what he did? I knew I Hated myself, but I thought my mourning was because I Loved and missed him so much. I do not want my daughter or myself to hate Tony.

Then, out of complete desperation, I wrote that first letter to you. I did not have any expectations that you would return a response nor if it would help me heal.

I am here to tell you that letter…Changed My Life! I still have a great deal of healing to do and am hoping you will continue to assist me. My daughter has already noticed a difference in me, in this short amount of time.

When she asked what I was ‘doing’ to heal? I replied with enjoying some Sunshine 🌞.

Thank You Sunshine for everything! My letter from my son was the best medicine. (Yes, I know it was from you, but it helped me so much and you even signed it the way he always did! Thank you!).

I have written him another letter and am sending it to you separate from this one. I hope you do not mind, I looked up your favorite color and am sending my letters in that color to ensure they do not become mixed up in the many other letters you receive.

Thank you, once again, for assisting me. I know you are extremly busy and I so appreciate you taking on my case!

One more thing… I made a donation to your PayPal, I do hope it is more than enough.

Thank you, Charles

I read his letter at least twenty times. I was puzzled & confused.

Didn’t I write him a letter explaining how I couldn’t help? Hmmmm…my mind was racing with questions. Who was the young lady? Who is Charles? And how did he receive a letter from his son, yet from Sunshine? I didn’t write it!

The next few days I felt quite intrigued. I went to the post office every day for five days…Nothing! Oh of course there were a few more pieces of junk mail, but definitely not a Pink letter addressed to Sunshine. I had mixed emotions. Some days I hoped a letter would arrive and other days I felt like it was a hoax. Then…

IT HAPPENED! All alone, no advertisements, other letters, nothing was in my PO Box except 1 hot pink envelope addressed to Sunshine!

Instead of smelling like cherry cigars and tears it smelled of strawberries and cream. I quickly retrieved the letter and practically ran to my car.

Recognizing, I should wait to read this at home…I tore it open, in the parking lot and began reading!

Dear Tony,

It is funny all of my therapist have instructed me to write you letters, but I refused. All this time I focused on your death and my own suffering. I am so sorry! Thank you for forgiving me and knowing how much I Love You!

I wish you didn’t have to go as early as you did, but I now understand a little better of your pain and suffering. I will try to keep my letters on the lighter side, but sometimes I May need to tell you about my sorrow. It seems to be a path to help me heal. I have been so angry with you for the past 5 years that I have missed out a great deal. I will try to do better. I Love You My Son! Thank you for taking the time to write back and letting me know you forgive me, for not being able to help you.

I must admit the young lady, Lindsey, has truly suffered a great deal. She blames herself for breaking up with you and everytime she sees Mom, Jessica or myself tears fill her eyes and she makes a point to hug us and tell us all she loves us.

I wish you would have held on a little longer. You would have recognized that the pain from the break up or from all the other pieces of your life, would pass.

Jeremy took your place as quarter back and he did okay. He is now attending Kansas State. He did not continue playing sports after graduation. However, before EVERY GAME…He would pull the team to huddle and shout over and over, “Win this for Tony!”

The year you passed they didn’t win a single game! But, Senior Year…We won STATE! With a great deal of tears! The team lifted Jeremy up and chanted, “WE WON IT FOR TONY!!!”

Your school counselor included you in her graduation speech and of course, so did the class president & your best friend Damon.

One comment was, “Tony’s body may have passed on, but his Great Big Happy Spirit guided us through to this day. Our final page the day we all spread our wings and fly. We hope you are smiling down on us and that we made you proud.”

Oh, how I have missed you! I am so sorry you regretted it the second after you pulled that trigger. I know how you feel, I have regretted many things the second you thought it was okay to leave us!

I will never ‘move on’ or forget you my Son! However, I do hope for more peace & understanding, especially now that I have your letter. And hope for many more to arrive.

Until next time, know that I Love You to the Moon & Back. I Love You for all eternity! I simply wish I could turn back time.

Love with All of My Heart, Daddy! 

At this point I can only infer what Tony had replied back with. How did this happen? What could or how could I have possibly sent a letter from his deceased son.

My mind could not calm down. I questioned everything. Yes, I Loved Providing Sunshine Messages, but did I lack the confidence neccessary to continue this? Hmmmm…my uncertainty turned into anxiety and I needed to pause for a mindful moment.

As I layed on my yoga mat and attempted to focus on my breath, I continued to see the young lady firmly holding ‘my letter’. And then her smirk on her face as she acted like I was irritating her! Her words swirled in my head, “Can you handle this?”

Who does she think she is? Questioning me? Who are you? And what if I cannot handle this?

My mindful moment was becoming a gripe session from all the events of the day. I tossed and turned until I slipped off into a afternoon nap.

Of course, my dreams included letters, request, snide remarks, people all swirling around and mixing together.

One message that seemed to stand out was, “Write him back.”

“Write Who?”

But the who did not seem to matter! I heard the message again and my response was extremely loud as I sat up, abruptly ending my nap, and shouted, “Write WHO?”

I sat at my writing station, grabbed an ink pen and began to write. To who? No one. I simply wrote words that came to me. Some made sense others did not. I simply continued to listen to my mind…Happy that I communicate some love enjoy little laugh more never put a period no ending just beginnings journeys with you I journey with you alot ventures tough I am help yes healing forgive all allow happy love your guy Tony

I read it 100 times. I questioned do I send this to Charles? It doesn’t even make sense. I mean I guess it does a little bit, but not really. Maybe I should edit it? Nope, that answer was clear. What did I do? I addressed the envelope to Charles I took a trip to the post office and I mailed it!

When Charles received the letter he immediatly emailed me…”Thank You, Sunshine!”

To be Continued: if you would like to read more of ‘Tony’s Letters’ Stay tuned because we are releasing this story one surprise at a time!

Livelove & Carry On!

Written by: Teena/Sunshine Drake!

Happy Coaching 101 (day four) tbc…

Yesterday, I left you hanging because you received exactly the information, I received when I told this nice (strange, to me at the time) lady her first Happy message.

At first it was the usual, I send the message and no response. I messaged her the next day and said, “Are you okay? Do you want to continue your coaching?”

Normally, I do not feel the need to have a response, but for some reason my confidence was way down, due to the circumstances. You see, after she told me about her loss, I questioned, is their happiness after losing a child or your husband? I wasn’t sure and nor did I want to find out. Therefore, like many others I chose to not talk about those horrific events or possibilities. God had a different plan!

Please note that my first response, when she requested Happy Coaching, was No. I am not sure this is what you need! Why? Because after she told me her circumstances I was pretty sure a grieving counselor would be best. However, she sternly insisted and explained, “I have already done all of the counseling, I am going to do. I wish to receive your services.”

Now for her first response to the message. After sending it I heard nothing for about twenty four hours. The next day was rapidly ending when I receive a text that said, “NO.’

“No? What? No you do not want to continue? No you won’t create the map? No you won’t take the imaginary eraser and erase your pain? What is the No for,” I asked.

I received nothing for another twenty four hours. Then this is the explaination…”No, I will not erase anything! No, I do not want to discontinue the coaching! No, I do not want to share, but did create it.”

Okay? I thought. Then I sent the next message:

I am glad you chose to not erase all the tears, pain and hurt you have had in your life. Now it is time to create the next portion of your life map. What you want or desire? The past map was for you to recognize that you have had some fun life experiences and to see how many skills you have developed. The imaginary eraser was for you to delete the pain. However you quickly realized erasing those down times, you would be erasing the good as well because no matter what, there will always be ups and downs. But to erase the pain is to also erase the life with your child and husband and although losing them was terrible and hurt dearly, you would not have wanted to miss being with them on this journey. Enjoy, creating the life you want to lead. What does a typical day look like? Where do you want to live? Do NOT hold back allow the freedom of your imagination.

Please note, I know how difficult it must be, to focus on the future with all your loss, but this is one portion of our steps to finding your own happiness. That is to recognize the past has brought you to this point and no matter what you nor anyone else can change it. However, it is up to you to decide how you incorporate your paradigm, into your future. The main goal is to NOT live in the past, learn from it, enjoy the good parts and now only focus on the future (end of message).

I learned as much from this lady as she did me. We didn’t talk on the phone, she paid in money orders, and nor did I have her address. Even when I attempted to make excuses or bow out (due to being unsure I could help her) she would insist and deliver me a message.

From what I have learned is everyone suffers at one point in their life. Whether it be losing a child, divorce, death, drugs suicide, accidents, job loss, illness and much more. Everyone is on their own path and we all handle circumstances differently. However, one thing is for sure…Happiness is a choice. You can choose to mourn for the rest of your days and highlight the catastrophes. Or you can choose to live for the next great adventure and highlight the accomplishments.

On a personal note…I have had some of my dear friends suffer great losses and I am super sorry for that. My only hope is for you to remember and illuminate the GOOD in those loved ones you have burried. Try not to focus on their absence as much as their triumphs. My dear friend, who lost her son to a deadly illness always told me, I don’t want him to be known for his illness, death or his name to be emotionally attached to sadness or despair. Rather, she wants him to be known for his life, accomplishments, and his kindness he brought to the world. Wow! I must say that is a phenomenal desire and wouldn’t our loved ones be so happy to know, we are celebrating them?

God Bless!

Until we meet again my friends, your legacy will live on.

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.Livelovellc.org/home

Livelove.teena@gmail.com

 

 

 

Dejavu?

Ever had dejavu over and over again? Supposedly it means you have already lived that scenario, scene or conversation before. But isn’t it funny how we always stop and say, “Change it up! I don’t know why, but I am having a dejavu and I don’t like it.”

Have you ever asked why wouldn’t you want to relive it? Does everything from your past hurt you? Probably not. But it is human nature to fear the unknown. (Many of us stop the dejavu not because we have any idea the end result, but we are pretty sure we just want to move forward).

That’s what my day has been like is DEJAVU all day! I finally just stopped, sat down and began typing. You see I don’t want to dwell of what has been. I love my life and although, I have had a miraculous journey and healing over the past year, I am truly excited for the ‘next’ exciting portion of my life.

However, I guess sometimes a dejavu can be valuable.

For example: I began my morning a little later than normal. I felt a little depressed today. I wrote about it, felt better. Then it hit me…the repeat of a day one year ago. No it is not December 8th, one year from my mis-step, nor is it a rememorable day after my long ride home, to recoup and heal.

The only thing I can think, is it is Thursday, before our company party. Which is the day of the week, I tumbled to my life changing fate.

My dejavu throughout the day has been numerous. Last year, I was a little freaked out and depressed. Because of a long list of decisions I had made and I was losing sight of why. However, I was having a terrific morning that day and I had told everyone, how much I loved them before disappearing for about 6 months. (No, I didn’t go anywhere, but for 3 or 4 months the porch light was on, but no one was home. And for about 6 months or more I was a bundle of nerves).

However, for some reason I have had more dejavu or reflections than ever before. Some are reliving the before and immediate after. Yet other moments I have been cherishing all that I have learned and how I am not afraid any longer, to be me.

Different, spiritual, divinely gifted, happy, not perfect, dreamer, motivator, funny, kwirky, little ME!!!

I am no different than anyone else, I continue to shake all over and explain to someone, how they need to change the subject, it is a dejavu!

However, this dejavu I have decided to change, instead I am allowing my happy continuation! I am no longer looking for my happy ending. I am now living my happy journey. Yes, even those unexpected steps that take you by surprise, I don’t care to ever relive that step, but I am grateful for the plunge!

If you are having a Dejavu reoccur, pause, peek into it and see if you have a delicious learning opportunity to explore. Don’t linger, it’s not that you want to relive it, because not all of the events were pleasing. Simply, pause.

Next, return to this time, moment and allow your gratefulness to take over. Begin to list even the slightest Great things you have done or experienced today, yesterday or last year!

You deserve the best. Live for today. Yes, set a desire or goal and begin to move towards it. However, don’t become stuck in a ‘Dejavu’ Live the journey, take a side step, or a path least resistance. You got this! Enjoy your life!

Written by: Momma Teena

Www.livelovellc.org

Livelove

&

Carryon

On a role…

Roll or role? Which is it? I have no idea, but I love them both. I woke up this morning with the most clear and intuitive thoughts. It was similar to a fog clearing and lifting from the river as the sun, peeks over the Kentucky rolling hills.

I promised myself, before I went to sleep, today would be a new day. A day of new thoughts, ideas and intuition. I began with all my blessings. I counted them one by one and still counting, with every breath I take.

You see, I have been struggling with a little bit of self doubt and confusion. As my company, which is quickly evolving into our company (with new team members being added daily), evolves and is reinvented on a moment by moment basis, I struggle with the branding portion.

I have acquired some amazing gifts and messages, that I want to share with the world. In hopes to enrich the lives of all who experience this opportunity. Sounds like a Miss America Pageant answer to World Peace , I know! You don’t have to tell me.

Skip down to last three paragraphs, the message is at the end! It says you are AWESOME!

Ohhh, so you want to be another ‘guru’ of motivational speakers changing the world? Right? (You might ask).

Hmmmm, the truth is…well to be honest… (Pause, take a deep breath in and blow it all out)…My heart is beating so loud, I can’t hear the clicking of the key pad.

Yes! No and yes!

That sums it up. I hope you understand…

Okay, the truth is one day a friend of mine said, “What if, instead of expecting anything we wake up and be grateful for what we already have and lovingly accept the new, latest and greatest ‘best’ for us, that will arrive each day.”

This was a twist from any mind set I had ever expected. The law of attraction, with the law of allowing-receiving.

I know it seems too simple, but it’s better than the alternative of thinking or expecting all negative outcomes. This twist in my perspective truly assisted me in healing after a tragic accident. Led me to many adventures and most of all illuminated, who I am.

I have spent the year of 2017 developing, researching and experimenting with a wide variety of emotions and reactions, as well as, how to live the BEST possible life, I can live. I have identified my desires/dreams/goals, that will assist me in the ultimate outcome!

So why do you struggle with your company?

The answer is, I am still on the how! How do you be financially profitable, open a company that is based on a message, vision and a dream that is so big, it feels explosive, and yet difficult to attempt to, Brand it.

That’s where this promise, to myself, came in handy. I woke up clear! Created a plan, spent most of the day being super grateful, set a small schedule, to gather items for ‘The Big Day.’

Although, very little of my plans truly occurred today, I will say this day is another one for the blessed and memorable days. Not sure I can even describe it to create a clear understanding!

Does it really matter? No because my ‘role’ and my ‘roll’ just became greater than I had ever expected! I am in awe!

If you are struggling with self doubt, regroup. Pause, for one minute, then another. This too will pass. Begin to say out loud I Love and accept or approve of myself. As Louise Hayes explains it, “Say it 200 or 300 hundred times a day. Sing it.”

You are amazing! You are acceptable. You are ____________!!! Fill in your own blank.

Share your talents with the world, we need you and your knowledge.

Think loving thoughts, the best is yet to come!

God Bless!

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.livelovellc.org

Sad moments will pass too

As moments or fun times come to an end everyone feels a little bit of a let down. At least I do. After vacation I always have a few moments of- I want to return to no stress, dancing and relaxing. However, I have learned that the closing of one chapter, means an opening to a brand new chapter.

New adventures, new destinations, fun times and the creation of new memories!

I sometimes feel like a broken record when I write over and over again. However, my statements are true. If you will wait just a few moments, this too will pass. When you are sad, take time to ask yourself, “Why am I sad?”

Next, allow yourself to be just that, sad. Not to a level of depression, where all you focus on is the sad state of mind you are in, but rather just a little cry, maybe a snack and a popcorn night. The point is allow yourself to feel the emotional attachment to whatever you are feeling down about.

Buttttttt.. set a time for when you are going to be over it. For example: When my daughter, son and Mark left today, I will admit I cried and felt a little lost for a moment. I have just felt a little bla all day. However, tomorrow morning is a new day!

I have set my time to begin a new day tomorrow. I found something to be excited about. In one week we will be heading to Nashville for a bash for Ashby’s 21. My website is in ffw because Rhian is amazing and many other events are evolving.

Could I continue to be sad and think of what is? Absolutely! I could take this small emotion and let it carry over into multiple days and even weeks or months.

Why? Why would I do that? Why? Why would you do that? I am sure some of you reading this could provide me with a long list of whys, how’s, shoulds, could and woulds.

Please read this carefully! It’s okay how long you choose to grieve, be depressed and focus in what is! However, it’s your responsibility to understand the entire world will not stop for a long time to help you pull yourself back together.

As one of my dear friends, who has buried two of their children, explained, “When you suffer a loss so great, which any loss is great, it’s only you who can decide what to do with your life. If I wanted to remember theirs deaths I would/could. But I chose to focus on their lives and create a life surrounded around doing good for others, in their names.”

Life is short. We all have, days and moments where we feel irritable, angry or simply sad. As Jack Cannefield explains, “Event + Reaction = Outcome.”

Please, as our country appears to have so many negatives and the world seems to have taken a nightmare pill, I beg of you to find the good in all situations and focus your energy on just that. Yes, there is always a time for everything! A time to mourn, a time to laugh, a time to pray and a time for cry. But if you want to be part of the solution and not yet another meaningless contribution to more fear being instilled in us, then begin today! Find the happiness in your heart, in your home, in your world! There is goodness all around you, how? Take time to focus in on the good in all situations. Listen to what you speak, does it illuminate the ‘bad’? Does it provide goodness to anyone? Does it create a happy feeling in your soul? If your last two answers were no, please take this message and utilize it.

Not trying to sound preachy or even demanding, I simply want you to understand how much you really do make a difference. You choose is your impact or legacy involving a positive and happy change in your life as well as those around you? If yes, then hooray, keep up the good vibrations. If not, then if not now? When? You choose!

If you are struggling with anything right now, I want you to know I just sent you a great amount of ‘Happy energy’ , it may feel a bit strange at first, but take the feeling and enjoy! That energy was attached yo this reading, just for you. Feel the cool breeze, feel the refreshing thoughts of feeling terrific. Smile really big and now accept your gift!

The song Ooooooo child things are gonna get easier… continues to play in my head as I read, edit and reread this post. It’s true hang on just a little longer it’s going to get better!!!

God Bless!

Livelove

Sunshine is all you need…

Wake up sleepy head!! Have you ever questioned why you don’t hear your alarm? Why you might struggle with rolling out of bed? Hmmm I might have the answer. Look for the sunshine or clean out your clutter so the sun can peak through. Many times we don’t hear our alarm because of the negative focus. Instead attempt to see and allow the sunshine to beam in.

My Baw Baw always said, “A little sunshine is all you need.”

I hear her singing, as she always did, 🎶You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine, You make me happy when skys are gray, you will never know dear how much I love you!🎶 I wonder if a little sunshine can go a long way?

I watch the raging natural disasters, political controversy and human suffering, only to be reminded of the sun will rise again. Today is a new day.

Is there good in the world today? I will let you decide.

I watch as the rescuers silently listen for a small sound of life in the middle of what once seemed to be a sturdy building, but now is a pile of rubble. I instantly feel the warmth of the sun beaming through when a small cry is heard and as the little boy was pulled out, safe and sound, the entire crowd paused for a minute to celebrate, ANOTHER LIFE SAVED HOORAY! The crowd cheered. However, with in an instant the fist goes up and the crowd is silenced. In hopes to find yet another one.

Another group of people found a man stranded in his truck, with raging waters swiftly taking him away. Oh but wait, what is that? A human chain forming, each depending on one another’s strength to ensure another will live.

Animal lovers risk their lives to search, find and feed the beloved animals. Keep the sunshine coming!

As water pours into an arena where many had went to, for shelter, a group of people, formed a circle and prayed together. They didn’t ask what religion are you nor did they shun or judge. Keep the sunshine coming.

Listen up! Devastation happens. I can not explain why. However, I can change my focus and so can you. You see it does create a sad feeling, when you think of the devastating effects of a natural disaster. However, I promise the sun will rise again and the aftermath is super natural. One by one people come together and they are sunshine beaming-bright and strong.

God bless

Livelove

To my friend in a valley…

You are okay!

Yes! You are okay!

Look up, look up, LOOK UP!

My friend who is looking down…

Look up! Feel the warmth beaming in

The valley is for healing & nurturing

While here, look around & heal

Enjoy your nurturing friends

Bask in the sun like a sleepy cat

Heal, repair and rest

Be grateful for the valley & all it is

Now it is time to LOOK UP!

Your new journey is coming up

Now is your time to plan, heal gather

For the funfilled, scary (at times), road

The road – back up on the crest

Leave your worries in the valley

The nurterers will dispose of them

As you stand up to begin the journey

Inhale & exhale & smile

For it will be fun & as long as

You are following your bliss

Your next valley will not be so deep!

(Notice what punctuation sign is missing?)

Just in! HOT HOT HOT off the press…

Inspired writing at its best. I have had a hell of a week! And rather than boring you with the details I am want to tell you an inspired thought I just had! Maybe someone else needs this as well. Also I have an appointment in like 30 minutes and I don’t want to make Ms. Debbie keep waiting on me.

Inspired thougjt: With so many questions rolling through my head. Which way is best? Is it best for me or for them or for God or Jesus, or Buddha, or another religous organizations, the government, my kids….is it best for all races? Is it best for human kind or our nation? Please someone tell me? Answer the questions. Do I pray or not pray do I believe or not believe, encourage or discourage?

Don’t all of those questions overwhelm you? And have you benefitted from any of those questions? Nor have I and don’t I wish I could give you a solid answer. The truth is I can not give you any ‘answer’ at all!!!! I can only offer you an emotion a flow that is in sync with you and then hopefully if you want you can find your ‘path of least resiatance” (@abraham-hicks).

You see for over a year now (way before my accident) I began a quest, let’s say it was a spiritual yet deep quest! I have been asking people from all around the world three questions

1. If you were to be told you had six months to live from today what would you do?

2. After you die what happens? Describe and explain.

3. What is the meaning of Life and why?

Now I am not letting you in on the secrets to life, that I learned through this quest, just yet. Because if I didn’t get to ask some of you or other new friends because the time was not right, therefore my data is not clear.

However, hold on I must share one theory that has come out of this, but it is not my final answer!!! Okay?

What I meant to say just then was…there is no final answer! Nope not one. Your answers to these questions and mine, will be always changing and evolving. It may change from one minute to the next or you may create a habitual thought process you hold onto for life.

I can remember when I was ‘born again’ and so new and improved I became a bit better than others. I can remember blaming God for my woes and when I felt the lowest I could go I was on my knees until they were wearing holes in my jeans. Then came the next phase…the nothing syndrome. I believe in nothing, I think we are worth nothing, life is meaningless nothing! I must admit even the phases of studying ‘religious beliefs’ around the world this one I can’t deal with. Therefore, that’s the last of the nothingness. Because no matter what the emotional attachment to that entire concept makes me wonder why to life! Sooooo we have now had a peak into my inspired thought. My phone is dying and I am already late. (Poor Ms. Debbie, she is constantly wondering what am I going to do with Teena)

To be continued…

Livelove

God loves you no matter what!!!!!

More Determined than EVER!!!!

Today we say goodbye to our sweet God son Matt Reed. Although my heart is hurting for our loss, it hurts even more that I couldn’t help. Suicide is a difficult act to understand, what were they thinking, how could I have helped, was I not paying attention? The questions race through everyone’s minds when this kind of tragedy occurs.

For me, losing Matt in this fashion creates even more determination. I am determined to provide anyone who wants to live a life full of happiness, laughter, love and understanding, I will share all I know and learn.  

My promise to you is to provide you with the proper tools to create a journey filled with whatever you choose. Yes, all of us have tragedy, sadness, negative energy, or incidents beyond our control. However, YOU decide how you live life. Begin today!!!

Each time you feel terrific today write it down. Not necessarily in sentence form. Title it feel good or happy moments, then write them down as they occur. For example: 

MY HAPPY PLACES: 

  • Camping
  • Listening to oldies music on river with loved ones
  • Salon
  • Driving
  • Making love
  • My front porch
  • Writing

As you can see the list is to help you be aware of the ‘happy’ people, places, or events. These do not stop all negativity, but they definitely detour those events. 

If I were to line all the people I know or who I am associated with, who committed suicide, I know without a doubt each one would say, “I wish I could take it back. I didn’t mean to hurt the ones I love!!! I simply did not see any alternative.” 

You see anyone who chooses to take their own life was not thinking how will or do my loved ones feel. Many entitle it selfish, but I can’t. Instead, I choose to use misinformed. Not enough information on who, what, when, where, why, and how to seek, find and enjoy their own happiness!!! 

Life is meant to live!!! Why not choose to enjoy the journey? Will every moment be perfect? No! However, keep allowing, visualizing, accomplishing, setting goals and focus on feeling TERRIFIC!!! As long as you create a habitual way of living in the vibration of ‘being happy’ you will always stop, think, feel the bad feeling then quickly switch your emotions to a better vibration. It can be as quick as a snap of your fingers. Each time I feel down and out I quickly find a pen and paper. Writing is my quick way to change emotions. You will find yours! 

Take time out of your busy schedule today to pause…pause for suicide victims, pause for the loved ones who have lost someone to suicide. Next find a happy thought for you and share it with the world! Post it, photograph it whatever it takes find the feel good vibration. You can actually help all who have been affected by this empty feeling by teaching others there is an easier way and it is much more fun. Teach yourself and loved ones how to find their own happiness, share what you have learned.

Sadly, I can’t bring back the ones we have already lost! However, I am determined to teach others how to carry on. You can help!!! Glorify your loved ones who have taken their own lives by helping others to make a happier choice!!! 

; until we meet again Matthew Reed I will continue to pray, smile and share the knowledge of enjoying life. God Bless You!!!

Carry On and Have Fun!!! 

Livelove 💖💖💖💖💖

Sunday thoughts…

If you have been reading my blog you will know I am on a magnificent journey and I want to share it with you…so come along and enjoy with me! 

As I laid in bed this morning I continually received a message to write about the down moments or the not so happy thoughts. Which I don’t like to do very much. However, it is a portion of life we all deal with just some more than others, so here it goes. 

4:00 A.M. eyes pop open brain is racing, get up go to the restroom and go back to bed. Sound familiar? Only to close your eyes tightly and beg to go back to sleep! That’s what happened to me this morning. I would toss and turn, cover up only to strip off the blankets slowly almost like a form of bedtime excercise. Finally, I laid as still as possible to keep from waking up my husband. BAM! then it began! 

What began? You ask? The flood! A flooding of thoughts, emotions, past scenarios, negative events, sadness, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, criticism the list could continue. As I write about it my chest feels heavy, my palms become sweaty, my neck hurts. I search my paradigm (past people, places, events that make up me) for a good connection, feeling or frequency. Anything to counteract this moment or feeling. Why did I have this moment? If things are so wonderful and my life is magnificent, why would I spend the most important time of my day feeling yuk? 

To be quite honest it is part of life!! I am sure at this moment you are saying, “Thanks Teena! I already knew life sucked why did you need to remind me?” 

Those moments are inevitable to life because it’s a frequency. What goes up must come down. Meaning everyone will have moments of struggle or what I like to call trough of the frequency. The one big difference is how long you stay in that state. Bare with me this ending is phenomenal! 

Let me give you an example: after a beautiful vacation you come back refreshed and ready to go. Then Monday morning comes and you don’t feel quite so inspired that is normal. If you love your career and life this low feeling or sadness will pass quickly it’s just you were so happy and relaxed for that amount of time the routine is difficult get back. However, in a few short minutes (if you are happy) those feelings quickly flee. 

Notice I continually said if you are happy, if you are on the right path. If you are not then those sad thoughts, feelings, frustrations, which will creep in for fleeting moments for everyone, will not be fleeting, but rather they will stay! 

I know you don’t want that and I don’t like those feelings so now it’s time to reset! How? Change it, in your mind. Now at first this isn’t easy, but once you make it a habit it becomes fun. 

Step one listen for a minute to the conscious mind. For example: this morning my mind would say what if they criticize your writings/teachings, what if they don’t like you, what if you are a flop, what about an unnamed person, who I spoke with last night, took offense to the message I gave her. By the time I began playing my game to erase these thoughts I could have cried. I was sad, worried, frustrated and feeling quite disgusting/ fearful. 

Now it’s time to come back! If your mind says what if? Say in your mind well what if and fill in the blank. Example: what if you never get on Jimmy Falon? My mind says: What if I do and I hug him, all the Roots Band, his announcer (can’t think of his name) and blow big kisses out to crowd!! 

Okay I know that was my come back, but it was fun and I know you could see it. I have a big smile on my face from just writing it. But you get the idea. I usually don’t even let those what If’s continue but today I did for a little longer to help you. The funny thing is my end result was amazing! 

Anything, negative your conscions mind tells you, stop it!!! Yes argue with it. Yes bad things have happened in your life, yes you have suffered, yes someone has said mean things to you, but do you enjoy that feeling or what I call is a replay, like watching a rerun over and over again, thinking that it’s being filmed the same way each time. Create the feeling of joy, argue until it becomes fun, don’t fight just reset! Idc what it is you want to have, do, or be!! You can have it! It’s not that I don’t live ‘real’ life I live just like everyone else, I feel those emotions in the valley, the only difference is my life is on such a high frequency that I choose to only be in the valley for short moments, to remember how awesome life really is! 

Take time today to stop the negative thoughts, experience them but then shut them down. Talk to yourself, create the image you desire! God Bless and never forget you are a gift!