Yesterday, I left you hanging because you received exactly the information, I received when I told this nice (strange, to me at the time) lady her first Happy message.
At first it was the usual, I send the message and no response. I messaged her the next day and said, “Are you okay? Do you want to continue your coaching?”
Normally, I do not feel the need to have a response, but for some reason my confidence was way down, due to the circumstances. You see, after she told me about her loss, I questioned, is their happiness after losing a child or your husband? I wasn’t sure and nor did I want to find out. Therefore, like many others I chose to not talk about those horrific events or possibilities. God had a different plan!
Please note that my first response, when she requested Happy Coaching, was No. I am not sure this is what you need! Why? Because after she told me her circumstances I was pretty sure a grieving counselor would be best. However, she sternly insisted and explained, “I have already done all of the counseling, I am going to do. I wish to receive your services.”
Now for her first response to the message. After sending it I heard nothing for about twenty four hours. The next day was rapidly ending when I receive a text that said, “NO.’
“No? What? No you do not want to continue? No you won’t create the map? No you won’t take the imaginary eraser and erase your pain? What is the No for,” I asked.
I received nothing for another twenty four hours. Then this is the explaination…”No, I will not erase anything! No, I do not want to discontinue the coaching! No, I do not want to share, but did create it.”
Okay? I thought. Then I sent the next message:
I am glad you chose to not erase all the tears, pain and hurt you have had in your life. Now it is time to create the next portion of your life map. What you want or desire? The past map was for you to recognize that you have had some fun life experiences and to see how many skills you have developed. The imaginary eraser was for you to delete the pain. However you quickly realized erasing those down times, you would be erasing the good as well because no matter what, there will always be ups and downs. But to erase the pain is to also erase the life with your child and husband and although losing them was terrible and hurt dearly, you would not have wanted to miss being with them on this journey. Enjoy, creating the life you want to lead. What does a typical day look like? Where do you want to live? Do NOT hold back allow the freedom of your imagination.
Please note, I know how difficult it must be, to focus on the future with all your loss, but this is one portion of our steps to finding your own happiness. That is to recognize the past has brought you to this point and no matter what you nor anyone else can change it. However, it is up to you to decide how you incorporate your paradigm, into your future. The main goal is to NOT live in the past, learn from it, enjoy the good parts and now only focus on the future (end of message).
I learned as much from this lady as she did me. We didn’t talk on the phone, she paid in money orders, and nor did I have her address. Even when I attempted to make excuses or bow out (due to being unsure I could help her) she would insist and deliver me a message.
From what I have learned is everyone suffers at one point in their life. Whether it be losing a child, divorce, death, drugs suicide, accidents, job loss, illness and much more. Everyone is on their own path and we all handle circumstances differently. However, one thing is for sure…Happiness is a choice. You can choose to mourn for the rest of your days and highlight the catastrophes. Or you can choose to live for the next great adventure and highlight the accomplishments.
On a personal note…I have had some of my dear friends suffer great losses and I am super sorry for that. My only hope is for you to remember and illuminate the GOOD in those loved ones you have burried. Try not to focus on their absence as much as their triumphs. My dear friend, who lost her son to a deadly illness always told me, I don’t want him to be known for his illness, death or his name to be emotionally attached to sadness or despair. Rather, she wants him to be known for his life, accomplishments, and his kindness he brought to the world. Wow! I must say that is a phenomenal desire and wouldn’t our loved ones be so happy to know, we are celebrating them?
Until we meet again my friends, your legacy will live on.