This picture is on a house boat with Darion Drake and Matt Reed, when they were little. Although his memory will always live on, his physical form was taken from us. Why? Because he couldn’t see a better way! Isn’t it time we show others, there is always a choice. A choice to live. If life feels ‘too much’, pause, breathe and hold on…THIS TOO WILL PASS!
I will never ever forget the moment, I received this crazy phone call! “Teena, Matt has killed himself!”
I rubbed my eyes, cleared my throat and asked,”What? Did you say Suicide?”
“Yes, he is gone!”
(This is not a posting to upset anyone, but it needs to be written!)
I woke Eric up and we both broke down and began to sob. Heart broken, angry, hurt and deeply saddened were just a few emotions, we were experiencing.
You see this was extremely unexpected, because Mathew had been through this exact same horrific experience, with his older brother. He was a teenager and it happened right before his birthday. So you can imagine why we never thought Matt was capable of repeating the event.
However, sadly he did! Leaving his sister, mother and nephew with voids, never to be filled.
Let me tell you about Mathew Reed!
He had a spirit of LIVING! He loved cars, helping others, his family (especially his wonderful nephew). He was a ball of energy. Always willing to lend a helping hand and he could make you laugh until you peed your pants!
At his visitation, I heard the same thing over and over again. “Why? He was such a great person. Why?”
I wish I could answer such a simple question, as to why? But I can’t. Instead, I want to illuminate his life and hopefully help someone else. As I write, in almost ALL of my postings, NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE PAST! I, nor you can reverse what has been done. Yes, you can receive strength to carry on, but once any act or deed is done, it is done.
However, I do believe, my loving Mathew Reed and I can help someone. Someone who is hurting, contemplating and feels stuck.
You see IF we could have stopped this, Matt would probably be preparing for a fun filled night of hanging with his friends. Texting me at midnight to just wish me Happy New Years and laughing about all the crud he has been through. However, none of those events can or will happen.
Sad? Yes! Change it? No 😔!
Learn from him? Definitely 😎!!
If Matt could speak to you right now he would say, “Hold on. Pause. Breathe Deeply. And LIVE ON!”
It’s okay to feel…anyway you want to feel. But please continue to remember, ‘This too will pass.’
I love you Mathew Reed and will continue to send out your message.
Please, I beg of you, help me to help others. Tell someone today, that no matter what, it’s going to be okay. It will work out and this to will PASS!
Most people have read the Little Engine that could. I know, I would even refer to it while educating eighth graders or teaching sales associates, how to reach their personal quota. However, this past weekend, my experience, cleared the muddy waters or concepts behind this fabulous story!
You see, anytime I was coaching I would say look at the end result and go for that finish line. Which is one hundred percent normal for a coach. As we timed each runner in their event we would refer to their ending time and ask, can you beat that? After all, Track is all about who crosses that finish line first. I would run as fast as I could and cheer, “I think you can, I think you can…Come On You can do it, just look at that finish line, it is right there!!! (Ending with) I know you can! I know you can!”
Exasperated, I would check with John or Dad, for time and let them know where they were and where they needed to be! Does this sound normal to you? Of course it does as a coach you are to bring them up to their best potential and motivate them to complete the task, improve upon the last one and visualize the positive results is your job. However, if I chose to do that type of coaching again I would reverse their thoughts and my technique.
Why? You ask? Becuase although we had several qualify and attend state, once we arrived the goal or end result became overwhelming and several of them struggled.
Back to My lesson and then you will understand. As Eric and I rode bicycles, we would come upon some steep hills. He would shift down to second or even first gear and ride like the wind. (Of course he was demonstrating how necessary it is for me to have gears) Me, on the other hand, would begin pushing, panting, standing up and usually stop mid hill, exhausted. Though, I will say, I never walked and pushed my bike. Instead, I would look right in front of me about two feet and begin pedaling.
Pedaling, pedaling, pedaling slowly sometimes almost coming to a complete stop! Wobbling back and forth…hang on! I would say you can do this, you can do this.
My pep talk or phrase to myself became almost like a cheer/chant/song I would say out loud.
“You already know the end, all you have to see is, two feet & your free!”
I know that seems weird, but in the midst of the struggle it became, “2 feet in front of me is all you gotta see.”
Over and over again I would chant/cheer, “Two feet in front of me is all I gotta see… (push the pedals with all my might) Two feet in front of me is all I gotta see… (again, but a little louder)…Two feet in front of me is all I gotta see!”
I tested it time and time again. We would approach a hill and if I would ride, starring at the top; I NEVER MADE IT, without stopping! However, if I glanced at the top (or end result) I would take a snap shot of the path, quickly glance where others could be, ensure I could avoid any Big surprises and proceed. (All of that preparing was not a strict plan it was just a glance. So if I had to veer off the path, I would still arrive at my final deatination)
Next, I would look two feet ahead of me, glance behind me and take off!!! Push with the right, then the left. Breathe…inhale, exhale, inhale exhale. Focus on your breathing, Teena. And when I thought I couldn’t go anymore, I wasn’t strong enough, I would push even harder and cheer, “Two feet in front of me is all I gotta see!”(again)
“Two feet in front of me is all I gotta see…two feet in front of me is all I gotta see!”
Sometimes I would throw in the full mantra, but mostly I just concentrated on turning the wheels two times and moving two feet.
Isn’t this true in everything we do! I never understood why @The Little Engine that Could, began with, “I think I can.”
I do now! If he had looked at the end result the entire time he might not have made it to the the toys, on the other side of the mountain. Instead he began with just right then, right where he was at that time. He didn’t transition to, I know I can, until he had reached at least one major hurdle and enjoyed the journey along the way.
Anything you want to do big or small! Know the end result or goal, feel it for a split second. Then begin to take one step, then the next. You do not want to miss the delicious journey along the way, so you can bask in the glorious warmth and good feeling at the top.
Back to track. I love track as a sport! Because it focuses your brain to improve you for your own personal record. If you are a coach try not to focus on the end quite as much, but rather visualize the end and improve by only seeing two feet ahead, two days, two hours, or even two seconds!
You can get thru, accomplish or achieve anything you want! If you are depressed, struggling with addiction or just wanting to pedal to the top of a hill, you can do it! The key is to see it and break it down into smaller, manageable pieces!
As I ventured out today the wind provided a natural wispy environment, not so harsh as to blow me over, but more like a dancing motion. Perpetuating the leaves to do something similar as the beautiful Tango. I suddenly came to a cross road, which way do I turn? Before deciding, I look forward. Straight ahead was a golf course. That’s when it hit me!
Why are there always golfers on the golf course mid day? Do you know why? Is it because all golfers are wealthy while everyone else is broke and working longer hours than them?
I wonder why? (As I appear to be creepily starring at the golfers with a pink bike, pink Flamingo on my back, a bright neon shirt and my sparkly sunglasses on, that if the sun hit it just right, would blind a golfer from doing what they do).
Anywhooo back to the question, why does there always seem to be golfers on the golf course? After close examination, it’s because golfers LOVE to golf. Just like anything else, you will work a job, create a career, or find another way to be happy and do what you love.
This topic came to fruition while I was battling with myself, about not working harder, but rather working smarter and having fun while I am doing it. You see the majority of people are hitting the hammer over and over again before they know what they are building!
If you hated to golf, would you plan to spend you only few hours of free time playing a round? Of course not. Nor would you begin building a house without a plan. Your life is the same way.
Begin today to notice the small things in which you felt happiest. And do more of that! As I work closely with Debbie and Rhian, I realize our new company is being put together by love and faith. Everytime I have said, out loud, a need for my company someone has appeared!!! I continually live in awe and expect the best for me in all situations.
When I first heard that statement it was from one of my precious students. Her life, in my eyes, was terrible! She had been in and out of Foster homes, only to end up with family, who were fighting over her and her brother.
I can hear our conversation as clear as if it happened, five minutes ago. We spent several afternoons talking, Sometimes I think she skipped going on field trips because if I wasn’t going she knew we would paint or do some kind a fun lab, where she could research on the computer. Most of the time she would end up coming back to my desk and tell me stories of her horrific past. But never in a devastion manner. It was always the good in almost every situations.
The day she stopped and said, “Mrs. Drake, everyone does what they want to do, they know the possible outcomes and choose what’s best for them.
This was a wrap up from her telling me why she was taken from one of the Foster homes.
As I sat down, tears fell from eyes like a river overflowing, out of her banks. I remember reflecting back through some of her stories.
For example, I asked her, “Why she didn’t tell someone?”
Her response was sharp and she giggled through it which made it a bit comical, she said, “Mrs. Drake when you get a whoopin everytime you opened your mouth, wouldn’t you learn to keep your mouth shut?”
Once again, “We all do what we want to do!”
Good or bad, she was correct. To avoid a whoopin or to avoid a conflict we will always do what we want to do, BUTT! What about in everyday life? Does that statement still apply?
Of course it does! We go to the same old job and hate life creating misery all around us, yet we all do what we want to do! For our good or not so good, we do choose. If you began on a path a long time ago and it abruptly came to an end what would you do you would choose…choose what?
Idk but it will be your choice! And either way if you choose to always see the positive and best, like my friend, your life will continue to improve each day.
If you are in a valley right now, look up. Don’t look down in shame, look up the worst is behind you! You did what you wanted to do! Now you are here and if you will Look Up, you will come out of the valley with great force!
Hello let me introduce myself my name is love, pink, joyful, laughter, fun, accepting, free-spirited, sensual, kind, caring, understanding, insightful, focused, millionaire, educator, magnificent, dynamic, sparkly, diamond lover, debater, healthy, swimmer, who loves others and wants them to come along and take this ‘HAPPY’ adventure with me! My name is Teena Drake, my game is living life as HAPPY as possible.
Wow! Brag much Teena? Nope I don’t have to brag this is how people have described me and the adjectives I have chosen to identify my life with. You see my entire life has been altered for the better of me, but the most exciting part is for the betterment of you too!
You might be puzzled, but allow me to take a couple of pieces of this puzzle and show you a glimpse of the possibilities. I am so excited right now I can barely type! I keep walking away saying don’t do this! It’s to scary to tell the world what you have learned! But if I keep it a secret well I can’t keep this feeling or life! Which puts me in a pickle! Therefore, I am busting out!!!! So if you are ready to see who you are and find that ‘HAPPY’ place you have been longing for follow me on this adventure…as I reveal a lifetime of learning, but let’s begin with what I have learned since December 8th, 2016. The event, the blessing, that had to happen for me to have received such a wonderful gift for the world – that can seem gloomy and sad. It’s a gift full of joy, happiness, adventure or just a hike in solitude the world is a beautiful place as long as you are happy!
First Assignment: 1, Write your name 2. Write all the adjectives or activities, that make up you (NOT OTHER PEOPLE) 3. Now ask by text or email so they can think about it, how some of your friends, family members, or acquaintances would describe you. (The third step came from Jack Cannefield’s writing). 4. Read all of them and delete any you do not like and own the ones you love. 5. Anything you would like to share about this first step to ‘Being’ ‘Happy’ tag me so I can read it and share! I look forward to reading about the amazing YOU!
When I began this process I was unsure how other people would describe me, but some of the things I said about myself were not nice. If you come up with a similar scenario and you are saying negative things about yourself, even if you won’t write it you are thinking it continuously, STOP! I know it’s not that easy trust me, but I promise I can help you. Mmmm I take that back I can’t help you, but I can provide you with the tools to help yourself.
I hope you have a beautiful weekend and remember God Loves You No Matter What!
Please! Please!Please, Share all of my post if you are struggling or know of someone else struggling with this game of ‘Life!’ Why? You ask? Because I have been given a gift that if, I want to keep, I must share it with as many people possible. Therefore, I am asking that you tell your friends and family to follow me on WordPress, Facebook-Teena Drake, Twitter-Livelove pinkologist@TeenaDrake, Instagram- live_love_pinkologist and you tube. When I begin to video this series I will let you know so you can subscribe to Livelove Pinkologist. (Or you can subscribe anyways). Thank you and God Bless Each of You and may you BE HAPPY!