Tag Archives: anxiety

What if your paradigm was wiped clean???

Good Morning!! This is my favorite day of the week!! Yes, believe it or not Monday mornings are my favorites, actually the entire day is!!! Isn’t that funny? I wish I could explain, one thing is for sure…it’s my FAVORITE DAY! As I was plugging in to my morning a Teena moment came to me! What if your paradigm or past was obsolete? Suddenly, out of no where…no one knew you and you had no recollection of anyone? What would you do differently?

Let me tell you about a little boy who challenged me everyday, yet said to me one day, “Do you know why I love you Mrs. Drake? Because you always accept me as a new me, the next morning.”

What???!!!! I think he must be talking about another teacher. Because everyday I prayed he would be a new him in the morning. And you can’t imagine how many days I thought, “I love you, but I don’t know if I can make it another day!”

I don’t care who you are, we all have people in our lives like this. Whether it be a student in your classroom or a Co worker, it doesn’t matter who they are it’s who or what you know about them.

After this thought about, your past being erased, I thought of that little boy, who believed in me because he felt like I believed in him! And I did!!!

This thought took me on a fun journey of emotions. Because I now know why that little boy said that!

I had him in 3rd grade and five years later I had him in 8th grade. Before 3rd grade began, I was handed 18 files to read and learn about my students. Their strengths, weaknesses and behavior issues. I read one!!!! (Which coincidentally he transferred out and I never had him). I closed the first folder and quietly walked to the office with all files in arms. I remember the look on our secretaries face (who I adore) when I said, “Can I have a copy of their medical files only? And any IEP’s?”

You know she wanted to say, “Are you stupid? You are holding them.”

However, I think the color still fading from my face and the weakness in my knees, explained it all!”

When I explained how I couldn’t educate effectively if I knew all the other opinions and data from their past. She was speechless. But it never did work with me!!!! My feelings were a great deal can change in one summer. There are so many factors that play into a person/students learning abilities, maturity, behavior ect… Yes this carries on with good or bad signals.

For example: That little boy was a day by day case, EVERYDAY. However, the first three weeks of school, I never knew this child had any trouble at all. He read at a 5th or higher grade level, he was loving, kind and amazing. (And still is to this day).

Then one day he didn’t come to school, then another. When he did return it was like a switch had turned on. His peers were constantly irritated with him, he would poke them, write on their papers…I mean I was in a state of grrrr!

What did I do? Funny thing is I didn’t realize it then, but now I see I did what came natural. I went with what I knew. I had built my own perspective of this child. Therefore, his paradigm to me was an intelligent, sweet, funny and kind child. I knew nothing about his past teachers opinions, his home life or his, let’s call it persistent personality, to ensure his life was as he wanted it. His paradigm was wiped clean as for me. That is why we had the discussion, EVERYDAY, “Tomorrow is a new day! You, my intelligent, well behaved, studious young man will begin again and tomorrow will be even better!”

Yes, we had that same conversation hundreds or maybe even thousands of times from 3rd grade, then 6th through 8th!

Did I change him? Nooo I do know I loved him, as a student. I do believe I helped him see a better him. And if you knew his real life paradigm, you like me, would be tempted to provide him with excuses. However, how would that help him? Or me or anyone else who might struggle with his quirky, nontraditional ways.

Ask yourself, “If my paradigm was wiped clean right now (and I was healthy bla bla bla), what would I want my new one to be?”

It is not to scare you, but just think…if you didn’t worry about the past, if no one had something to hold against you from 30 years ago (yes, people still claim to know someone even if they haven’t spoken to them in 30 years, that’s crazy to me). Not that you live your life based on other people’s opinions, just a fun little thought.

Next time you begin to become irritated with someone or something stop and ensure this is a reaction towards this particular incident and not a reaction based on the past. When you begin to live for or to feel good, life is paradise with a twist.

The twist being those small, quiet irritating moments to remind you of how you want your memories/paradigm, to be in one day, a month, a year or even years.

The pages are unwritten and you my friend are holding the pen!

God Bless

Livelove

&

Carryon

Sad moments will pass too

As moments or fun times come to an end everyone feels a little bit of a let down. At least I do. After vacation I always have a few moments of- I want to return to no stress, dancing and relaxing. However, I have learned that the closing of one chapter, means an opening to a brand new chapter.

New adventures, new destinations, fun times and the creation of new memories!

I sometimes feel like a broken record when I write over and over again. However, my statements are true. If you will wait just a few moments, this too will pass. When you are sad, take time to ask yourself, “Why am I sad?”

Next, allow yourself to be just that, sad. Not to a level of depression, where all you focus on is the sad state of mind you are in, but rather just a little cry, maybe a snack and a popcorn night. The point is allow yourself to feel the emotional attachment to whatever you are feeling down about.

Buttttttt.. set a time for when you are going to be over it. For example: When my daughter, son and Mark left today, I will admit I cried and felt a little lost for a moment. I have just felt a little bla all day. However, tomorrow morning is a new day!

I have set my time to begin a new day tomorrow. I found something to be excited about. In one week we will be heading to Nashville for a bash for Ashby’s 21. My website is in ffw because Rhian is amazing and many other events are evolving.

Could I continue to be sad and think of what is? Absolutely! I could take this small emotion and let it carry over into multiple days and even weeks or months.

Why? Why would I do that? Why? Why would you do that? I am sure some of you reading this could provide me with a long list of whys, how’s, shoulds, could and woulds.

Please read this carefully! It’s okay how long you choose to grieve, be depressed and focus in what is! However, it’s your responsibility to understand the entire world will not stop for a long time to help you pull yourself back together.

As one of my dear friends, who has buried two of their children, explained, “When you suffer a loss so great, which any loss is great, it’s only you who can decide what to do with your life. If I wanted to remember theirs deaths I would/could. But I chose to focus on their lives and create a life surrounded around doing good for others, in their names.”

Life is short. We all have, days and moments where we feel irritable, angry or simply sad. As Jack Cannefield explains, “Event + Reaction = Outcome.”

Please, as our country appears to have so many negatives and the world seems to have taken a nightmare pill, I beg of you to find the good in all situations and focus your energy on just that. Yes, there is always a time for everything! A time to mourn, a time to laugh, a time to pray and a time for cry. But if you want to be part of the solution and not yet another meaningless contribution to more fear being instilled in us, then begin today! Find the happiness in your heart, in your home, in your world! There is goodness all around you, how? Take time to focus in on the good in all situations. Listen to what you speak, does it illuminate the ‘bad’? Does it provide goodness to anyone? Does it create a happy feeling in your soul? If your last two answers were no, please take this message and utilize it.

Not trying to sound preachy or even demanding, I simply want you to understand how much you really do make a difference. You choose is your impact or legacy involving a positive and happy change in your life as well as those around you? If yes, then hooray, keep up the good vibrations. If not, then if not now? When? You choose!

If you are struggling with anything right now, I want you to know I just sent you a great amount of ‘Happy energy’ , it may feel a bit strange at first, but take the feeling and enjoy! That energy was attached yo this reading, just for you. Feel the cool breeze, feel the refreshing thoughts of feeling terrific. Smile really big and now accept your gift!

The song Ooooooo child things are gonna get easier… continues to play in my head as I read, edit and reread this post. It’s true hang on just a little longer it’s going to get better!!!

God Bless!

Livelove

I know, I have been talking, instead of doing…

Hey everyone sitting at the doctor, waiting like everyone else. However, my brain is running like a marathon runner about to win a race and to be first out of thousands of runners!

Teena Drake, they call out! I waddle back, “Mrs. Drake your BP is high for you. Is there anything going on?”

“Ummm, noo, but you would not question me if you knew what was running through my brain! It’s crazy, gigantic and important. I don’t have time to catch you up, but I promise I am okay!”

I simply replied with, “No, I am fine.”

Anywhoooo, it’s all good!

Here is why my BP was up! I had a CRAZY THOUGHT!!! Driving down here!

Ever since I have been watching OperationBBQrelief.com I have had the strongest desire to jump in my car and drive South. However, if you don’t know, at this point of my life, I don’t think I would be much help at all!!!! I still waddle or wobble, a bit and I have to be very careful, not to get an infection, until it is healed. Ugh!!! What to do, what to do? Think, think, think, Teena!

That’s when it hit me!!! (It seemed to really hit me hard) As I was driving over an hour to my doctors appointment and listening to music at the highest level possible, with the sunroof open, wind blowing through my hair, and singing- Whoomp, there it is, I thought hmmm, what can I do to help others, who are suffering, bored, and misplaced from their home, stuff and comfort zone?

I got it!!!! I will begin to video and post. Problem is the little brain in my head continues to criticize me. Saying things like, “You know your ADHD will kick in and you will flutter off! You can’t sing! And you want to sing! What are you thinking?”

Then, like everything else, it hit me!!!! (I can’t ever get ideas quietly in my sleep). I remembered this funny statement from Kendal (you will meet her on one of my videos) she looked at me while we were standing in the longest, boring line at the airport in Mexico and said, “I would never mind standing in line with you. If I had to be stranded on an island, I would want it to be with you!”

WHAT? ME? I thought to myself! (As Eric shifted his weight back and forth and seemed more agitated than ever.) It might have had something to do with us singing in line and doing our hand clap…this, that…this this…that that! Or the eductional rhymes I was teaching everyone in line! One lady stopped me (as we attempted to move four steps ahead) and said, “Lady, I agree with your little girl (she isnt mine, but I will claim her). If I was stranded on an island I would want it to be with you! You are one of the most entertaining people, I have ever seen.”

In my mind I thought, as we approached the security/ passport lady, “Tell that to my husband! Giggling in my head, due to his aggravation!”

Then what happened next is HILARIOUS TO ME! NOT to Eric! We had been standing in line for two or three hours and I think it was my fault, but we- only Eric and I- were sent to security!!!! “What? You are kidding, why?”

We never found out the reason why, but Eric has and will always blame me! He swears, they were scared of ME! Lolololol, I still laugh hysterically, everytime he tells that story.

I don’t believe that, but I do believe my inspiration has hit. With all the crud going on in the world, with many children missing school for an indefinite amount of time, I am going to do it! I am scared to death. I criticize myself constantly, when I watch my videos, but for the sake of YOU, I am doing it!

My vision, heading into the doctor’s office, was clear and concise. They won’t be perfect, but they will be educational and entertaining. I am not sure if anyone on the islands will be able to read or watch this, but when you can, check it out. I realize electricity being super scarce, You Tube will not be easily available 😔.

Please note, I am sending all those affected by natural disasters a BIG

heart full of love and I want you to realize, we are all in this together. I Love you all and want you to Livelove On! You can do this, you can and will rebuild!!!

God Loves you no matter what!

Livelove

To my friend in a valley…

You are okay!

Yes! You are okay!

Look up, look up, LOOK UP!

My friend who is looking down…

Look up! Feel the warmth beaming in

The valley is for healing & nurturing

While here, look around & heal

Enjoy your nurturing friends

Bask in the sun like a sleepy cat

Heal, repair and rest

Be grateful for the valley & all it is

Now it is time to LOOK UP!

Your new journey is coming up

Now is your time to plan, heal gather

For the funfilled, scary (at times), road

The road – back up on the crest

Leave your worries in the valley

The nurterers will dispose of them

As you stand up to begin the journey

Inhale & exhale & smile

For it will be fun & as long as

You are following your bliss

Your next valley will not be so deep!

(Notice what punctuation sign is missing?)

All of us will do what we want to do…

When I first heard that statement it was from one of my precious students. Her life, in my eyes, was terrible! She had been in and out of Foster homes, only to end up with family, who were fighting over her and her brother.

I can hear our conversation as clear as if it happened, five minutes ago. We spent several afternoons talking, Sometimes I think she skipped going on field trips because if I wasn’t going she knew we would paint or do some kind a fun lab, where she could research on the computer. Most of the time she would end up coming back to my desk and tell me stories of her horrific past. But never in a devastion manner. It was always the good in almost every situations.

The day she stopped and said, “Mrs. Drake, everyone does what they want to do, they know the possible outcomes and choose what’s best for them.

This was a wrap up from her telling me why she was taken from one of the Foster homes.

As I sat down, tears fell from eyes like a river overflowing, out of her banks. I remember reflecting back through some of her stories.

For example, I asked her, “Why she didn’t tell someone?”

Her response was sharp and she giggled through it which made it a bit comical, she said, “Mrs. Drake when you get a whoopin everytime you opened your mouth, wouldn’t you learn to keep your mouth shut?”

Once again, “We all do what we want to do!”

Good or bad, she was correct. To avoid a whoopin or to avoid a conflict we will always do what we want to do, BUTT! What about in everyday life? Does that statement still apply?

Of course it does! We go to the same old job and hate life creating misery all around us, yet we all do what we want to do! For our good or not so good, we do choose. If you began on a path a long time ago and it abruptly came to an end what would you do you would choose…choose what?

Idk but it will be your choice! And either way if you choose to always see the positive and best, like my friend, your life will continue to improve each day.

If you are in a valley right now, look up. Don’t look down in shame, look up the worst is behind you! You did what you wanted to do! Now you are here and if you will Look Up, you will come out of the valley with great force!

Too powerful of a message to continue…God Bless

LiveloveLLC

Wow! What day is it? September 6, 2017…

As I plan my day and decide which is the most important task I look back over my website, that’s when it hit me! What? I haven’t blogged since August something? According to the last post it was August 28th! Oh my!!!! Can I explain my loss of time?

Dogs to vet, kid loses keys to car (all of them), kid goes to college, moved into dorm, moved out of dorm in 8 days (by himself), daughter comes in we enjoy wine festival, dogs back to vet, child has a wreck (totals her car, but thankfully is okay), other children whom have went off to college came to visit, cleaned out one closet/two rooms, continue to sell books, take classes, record coffee talk, became an ordained marriage minister, register as well as define, my new amazing company-Livelove hmmmm….I wonder why I continue to think negatively about my progress. Maybe after writing this I will feel better!

Please, please do not take any of that as complaining because I am not! Instead that list and this moment creates a feeling for me that is so amazing, it’s undescribable! Why? Because I have honestly become an evolving, feeling, understanding, attracting abundance in all avenues of my life human being. Meaning I am enjoying my journey and all that is best for me is here and continues to flow.

Has every day and each moment been butterflies and frolicking in the sunshine? Nope! However, has it been ‘fun’ the majority of the time? Yep!! Yes!! Si!! (I am unsure how many possible ways there are to say yes, but if I could I would type them all!!!) I have had days full of blissful moments, one right after another, yet some days have been filled with ups and downs almost like I was jumping rope, the fluctuations were that rapid.

However, as I sit and write to you, today, I realize how much fun I have had since August 28th. Of course I then continue on a reminiscing spree, but only fun or funny events. The next thing you know I am blogging and sharing with you the answer to our questions about life.

I feel like a broken record, however it’s true! I have spent my entire life searching for the ‘right’ things to do or say to help someone else have a richer, fuller, fun filled life. Some years we entitled these techniques as goal setting. Visualization, soul cleansing, religion, counseling, co-dependency and so on. I would study leadership material, listen to motivational speeches, read books to help me and of course my intentions were to help me help others.

Yet now I ask myself and you, is there anything wrong with that? If you said, “Yes.” You are 100 percent correct! However, if you said, “No.” You are 100 percent correct, as well!

You see I only did the research, helped others, chose my multiple career paths, wrote my book (Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby by Teena Drake), created a company, Livelove, and began sharing with you all these wonderful techniques because that’s what felt TERRIFIC TO ME!!!! Shew…that was a mouth full.

It’s true!!! Did I and continue to inspire, educate, love, live and enrich the lives of those who chose to read my material? Yes, of course I did! And I plan to grow and share with you until we are all living in sweet harmony, to the best of our ability!

Why do I choose this path? Because it feels good, terrific, happy, fun, loving and free to me! And EVERYONE, even politicians (Actually especially politicians, U.S. leaders and world leaders need to attend my upcoming ‘Happy Class’), your domestic engineers, preachers, teachers, entraprueners, millionaires, but most important and especially YOU can live a life full of those happy moments or feeling good choices.

Does fear creep in? Do I become scared and hopeless (no not much lol)? The answer to both of these questions are yes!!! However, let those emotions go! If you want to change your life, if not then embrace those emotions and decide why they are super prominent.

It doesn’t matter which route you take, the meaning to life is to ‘Be Happy.’ To enjoy the glorious gifts you were so delicately born with.

Go with those interupting, narrow trails that take you the long way around. It is okay because trust me when I say, “Achieving the tasks or goals throughout life was amazing, thrilling, exhilarating, phenomenal and truly undescribable. However, the journey has been times a million more fun than the end result. The seemingly minute downfalls, curve balls and pit stops along the way are the ones I cherish the most.

Yes, the journey of raising my children, vacations, financial triumphs, financial disaater, careers beginning, evolving, losing, loving, laughter, tears and happiness has filled in the details of each memory. Because it’s not the details of the memory you have, but rather the details of the feelings, emotions ect.

Find it, if you want, the ‘feeling good’ emotion and enjoy it.

If you responded with, “How? I don’t feel like it today or Teena, you don’t understand?”

That’s fine, you are probably right. Notice, I said, “If you want to.”

That’s because no matter what happiness is YOUR CHOICE!

If you choose (and you are having a down day), lay in the bed or go to the bathroom and begin saying, “I LOVE _________! I LOVE To _________.”

Yes, sometimes it can be a little negative just don’t dwell on that it’s more of a way to let it go. For example: Lady at work is being super mean to you and has been for days, you are over it. Excuse yourself and say I love to go to the bathroom so I can’t hear her. (Gritting your teeth).

No really just focus on you and what makes you feel good not the other person, that provides their meaness with more energy. Remember your circle of influence is ONLY YOU! (@Stephencovey @leaderinme).

Okay, I have written enough! If you received nothing else know this…HAVE FUN!

Livelove

Yes, this is your test…

Sometimes life requires us to read signals. It is essential in developing relationships as well as recreating them. Listen to their body language, hear their sighs, I will say it again and again…Life is meant to be lived happy and your spirit will adjust and readjust to find your happy path or rainbow. Whatever it is that ‘makes’ you happy will appear and reappear almost like a hot fudge sundae or a camel ice cream.

I always think of this metaphor, I think that is what you will call it, but whatever it is, you let me know.

They say,

A grandmother’s love is an almighty powerful love like none other. If someone was harming your grandchild you would go through great lengths, climb the highest mountains and swim the widest rivers to protect them.

Now think of your spirit, it searches for joy, feeling good, laughter and ‘happiness.’ When the journey isn’t pleasing to you depression, anxiety and sadness comes along to guide you back to a feeling good journey.

It really is the secret to life. It is to feel good and have fun. Be happy and Livelove.