As I begin to unpack my daughter in California, once again, I reflect on my past experiences. A time when I questioned everything. Was I making the ‘right’ decision? What if…? The questions would race through my head. My fears were overwhelming. Should I allow her to follow her dreams at such a young age? What about her safety? What about my other daughter, who willingly volunteered, to be her guardian? Could she handle this gigantic move and undertaking? You see, my daughter had been signed by an agent and was asked to move to Los Angeles California, at the age of 17. We were estatic! The hometown circumstances, let’s just say, weren’t the best for Ashby, at the time. However, could my girls survive in LA??? They were raised in a small little Kentucky town and Ashby was still in high school. Darion had moved to Nashville at the age of 18, but I could drive there in four hours. And I spent almost 6 months of weekends in Nashville! Once the decision was made we took off driving across the country. That was four years ago and here I am again! She is now 21 and although I knew this day would come, it doesn’t make it any easier!!! After her last adventures, I knew she would return home. Back to California. It hasn’t been any easier, but it is rewarding to know she is where she wants to be. My brain will continue to race and question, “Am I making the correct decisions, as a parent.” However, all I want for my children is for them to follow their bliss. And that is what she is doing. You know I can remember thinking I wouldn’t survive, the last time. Yet, here I am four years later. If you are struggling with anything in your life, right now. Please, remember you are loved and if you can pause briefly…I promise, “This too shall pass!” God Bless Livelove & Carryon Www.livelovellc.org/home Livelove.email@example.com Need some help with a situation in your life? Email me, I would love to hear from you!
Somebody, asked, “Which part of the last story was fiction?”
I giggled a little until I was almost rudely laughing in my friends face! (Good thing she knows me). Anyways, as I attempted to get it straightened out, I replied with, “You know me! I will never admit how silly I am, especially about going to the doctor.”
She looked at me with a half glare and a half stare. However, she figured out I was only admitting SOME of it was true! 😂😂😂
This next story I may have written about, before, but I do hope to help any other big chickens, like me, get their mammogram!
After my crazy escapades throughout the day, I did actually miss my first mammogram! When I arrived, I apologized over and over again. (Thinking, she would be rude and snippy because I messed up the schedule).
The sweet lady, probably around thirty, said, “Calm down! We have mix up in schedules all the time.”
“Now give me a minute, I will look at the schedule and see what we can do.”
I thought, “Wow! She is simply precious!”
As I waited, shifting my foot from one side to the other, looking around and day dreaming of another day I could take off work, to of course, finally get this over with! I think maybe December or… January would be better after the holidays!
My thoughts were rapidly interrupted when, Margaret (whom I thought was a sweetheart) said, “Just have a seat, we have an opening in like fifteen minutes!”
WHAT? Now wait a cotton pickin minute! I wanted to shake my head noooo in a random motion and take off sprinting for the door! I think I can make it if I take proper position, get set, ready, GO! Okay no, I didn’t sprint out, instead I took a seat.
When she called my name, I can remember thinking, you got this, no worries.
The nurse took my vitals and she said, “Calm down Mrs. Drake. You are making your blood pressure be elevated.”
“Okay…I am really trying.”
Then I stepped on the scale and thought I would make a joke, I snickered and said, “I think I need to have somebody break my elbow, so I can’t get the fork to my mouth.” (Laughing and laughing at my own joke).
“Naa, it wouldn’t work they would hook straws together and feed you milk shakes!”
Oh boy, she is good! She never missed a beat, said it and kept on walking. Before she left me in the ‘other’ waiting room, she did giggle and remark with, “That was funny though, keep the utensils from your mouth!” Shakes her head and walks away.
In the beginning it was one large breasted lady sitting with me. She was kind of a mixture between Rosanne and/or the blonde medium, on tv. (But not as dolled up as the medium).
She began, “Hello, it’s your day eh? Mine too! They sometimes get you in and out, but other times you must wait.”
I smiled and didn’t say anything, I couldn’t have anyways!
She continued,”Don’t you hate these things? My husband told me he would take me out for dinner after this because he knows how bad I hate them. Don’t you hate them?” (She sucks in a huge breath of air to ensure she would have enough to finish her rambling).
“I mean and really they could get a better technician, she always has cold hands and a crappy personality. She is not personable. Why do they hire old bitter-bitties to do such a delicate job? I mean it hurts when she smashes these into that machine! Then she says get closer, stand up straight, suck it in, let it out, don’t move. All the while she is pulling and turning my boobs.”
Shew, she took a breath, but only to end with, “Don’t you agree?”
Don’t tell her Teena, just nod your head and let it go! It’s all I could think. However, I am really honest and of course I said, “I don’t know, I have never had one.” (With a quiver in my voice).
“What!!! Oh let me see, let me see.”
She turns me towards her, as if she was going to give me an exam. Looks at my breast and says, “You should be fine, I have alot of boob, so it hurts me more.”
As she was reliving all of her past mammograms and how horrific they were, a small framed, yet tall, lanky woman had slipped in the waiting room and strategically sat down, closest to the door. She quietly, almost as if she were talking to herself, chimed in, “I hate these things, my boobs are so fragile, it hurts and her hands are so cold,” (As if she frequented the mammograms so much, she knew the technician, like they had coffee together every week).
This clucking chatter continued to grow by leaps and bounds. As the loud, boisterous lady continued to attempt to ease my mind, new ladies appeared one by one. All had a new horror story. Some where about others and yet some were almost coming to life, as they relived each detail, of the dreaded, torturing mammogram!
If you have never had one, READ ON! It gets better, I promise!
As each name was called to enter behind ‘The Door’ I decided to change the scene, for me!
I mean (not trying to offend anyone), but I love my breasts. And I will do anything to keep them, even if it is essential, to endure a little pain.
As I slowly approached the gigantic door, I remember, physically lifting the girls up a bit, as to reassure them, “We got this!”
The small, late fifties, technician repeated my name, our eyes met and she began, in a robotical way, to explain what was about to happen and her expectations of me. I listened intently, looking for a joke to slide in and break the ice. There, right there Teena… “Now, Mrs. Drake there might be some discomfort, please just bare with me…”
I abruptly interrupted, “Mmmm I might like it…” (Pause, hold up, rewind, I quickly stopped my silly joke).
“Did you say pain?” (stammering around as if to explain I wasn’t meaning the pain, I would like, ummmmm, I was just trying to joke…)
Okay, it’s time for me to panic. I tried to explain my silly words and attempted to nicely tell her, what all I had been told about her. Of course it came out all wrong and I was for sure, I offended her. Until she had my right girl in her cold, bony hand then added the other one…awkwardly I jumped and shivered, a bit, as she gently placed it where it needed to be. As she began to release and LOWER the smasher hammer (I do not know what it is called), a quick pause, briefly happened and as the fear appeared on my face, we both BURST INTO LAUGHTER!!!!
“I mean do you ever think about telling people what you really think?” I asked as my laughter continued through each word.
“All the time! I mean it’s not like I am going to punch you and I try to be careful, but I only have so much, I can do.”
I chimed in as to assist her in her case, “Exactly, it could be worse.”
Not only did we become friends, I survived my first mammogram without a bruise and both girls intact!
Just remember everything is all based on perspective. How you perceive the world around you is, how you perceive yourself. Follow your path with a joyful heart!
God Loves You, No Matter What!
The message is clear, life is too short to live in fear. Enjoy the now.
(Hope to see you December 8th!)