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As ‘life’ seems to happen around us, many people like to compare stories or talk about the issues. However, there is no comparisons between your story and theirs.
Of course we are all connected and as humans, we can all FEEL empathy or sympathy depending on our similar incidents.
But…everyone has moments of being depressed, sad, hurt, lost and disappointed. I can remember the day, my son explained that pointing out all the reasons someone should be grateful, isn’t always the best feeling emotion for someone suffering. I questioned why or why not, it always seemed to work for me. Highlighting all the reasons I should be grateful, how blessed I am and so on.
Nick explained how sometimes those comments are more detrimental to the person.
That was several years ago and to be completely honest, I didn’t truly understand.
Now, I do!
You see we ALL have moments where life feels overwhelming, too much and disappointing. Those who their stories, are well known and inspire others, but also you and me.
As I wrote and rewrote my speech for the area contest @Earlybirdstoastmasterskc, the days seemed to be zooming by. Closer and closer, my excitement was building and the anticipation of all the exciting opportunities, this club has to offer, was assisting me in working up the best message, I had ever written! Ohhh, if you could only feel my radiating excitement.
Yet, day by day in LA we had to jump one hurdle and then twenty five more or maybe a hundred more! (Okay I am being a bit over dramatic, as Ashby says).
But it is true. I could whine and cry about every little speed bump thrown in front of us, but where would we be then? Instead let me share what I have learned.
This week I had to let go of my first speech competition. It was to be on Monday February 5th. There were no guarantees I would move on to the next level, because our club has intense competition, but I wanted to attempt it, in the worst kind of way!
I had prepared and practiced the entire road trip from Kansas to LA.
As the hurdles popped up, some one at a time, others it seemed like fifty at a time, I began to realize my excitement was about to he turned into disappointment! With all the issues about having Princeton, I quickly realized my trip would be delayed, forcing me to step down from the competition.
Now this may seem silly to anyone else, but I cried and cried! I was disappointed, sad, overwhelmed and a little bit selfish. Most of all I was torn! This was my baby girl and very dear to me granddog. But I also wanted to attempt this competition!
Then my lessons began!!! Everytime I would express my disappointing emotions someone would share on Facebook or tell me about a horrific event. For example in the past month we have lost loved ones to accidents, cancer, flu and suicides. I would cry for them or add to my prayer list.
Yes, my silly little issues seemed trivial after all of that. I have so much to be grateful for, I know that.
Then I realized Nick was correct. Pointing out or minimizing our own disappointments, by comparison, is not fair, to you.
My epiphany was EVERYONE, experiences their own depression and disappointments. And YOURS is just as important as the next one. Because we are all on our own journey and life happens whether we are striving to improve or not.
And MAYBE, JUST MAYBE…this is a key to helping others choose to feel all the emotions, yet not give up.
The key is to allow yourself to feel the negative emotion. Express your feelings of disappointment. (Allow this moment). Do not worry about feeling trivial compared to other people’s issues. I am Not saying dwell on it and/or illuminate the situation, but rather, ALLOW yourself to have a moment of tears.
It is okay!!! There is no greater and less than, when it comes to you and how you feel. Maybe if we begin to allow kids and adults to say, “I feel like giving up.”
We will have less severely depressed or suicides. When I was having a moment of ‘selfish disappointments’ it felt good to allow the sadness, for a moment. It forced me to find solutions, it allowed me to be human, and it reminded me how quickly ANYONE can give up.
It is time we begin to allow our younger generations to know we have all been there. We have all had struggles and let it out. All of it! Say it if you feel it. It’s okay.
No matter how trivial it may be to others. Your disappointments, moments of sadness or maybe your losses are not comparable to others! You are allowed to say it because believe it or not… EVERYONE experiences negative emotions.
My greatest hope is…this post will help one person to choose life. If you are not feeling so well about something, say it! And quit worrying about comparing apples, arangatans, and kale spinach. This is YOUR EXPERIENCE! No one elses!
I have chosen Sundays as my fundays. They have been for fifty two weeks, ever since the beginning of my new, enlightened, fantastic, super, journey began! This is probably going to be a little bit sappy, today, because Sundays are my grateful days.
Therefore, if I ramble a bit, I will let you know when to skip over to the ‘message’ for you to have, keep and do with what you choose.
Every Sunday, that I have stuck to my goal, I have learned so much! From how to have even more fun in living to new ways to feel the terrific and delicious emotions, of all aspects of this life.
(Rambling skip this paragraph if you would like)
If I were to describe my newest feelings, emotions and knowledge, it would be something like this: Imagine…standing at the top of a mountain, at the very tip top, looking down over a valley filled with lush greenery, laughter, movement and the clouds along with the sheets of blue to offer a back drop that creates a peaceful, yet exhilarating breeze, flowing directly towards you. To accept the gentle breeze, directly before it reaches your body, you open your arms and fully accept the cool breeze to overtake your entire body!
In life, we have such a unique opportunity! We can actually feel, our way to bliss, joy and peace.
(Back on task)
As I began to read #The Essential LOUIS HAY Collection, I questioned what I said to myself before, I rolled out of bed? And how many mixed signals I had already sent to my subconscious by noon. Of course I had said my affirmations. I had prayed. I had said a little pep talk to myself. Kissed Eric…Okay all is great! Right? Not exactly.
What? Teena! What is wrong? My mind races to my past, looks for a connection. Nope, been letting alot of that go, so I thought it might have been there, but noooo. It’s not what’s wrong. When I was a little girl, my Baw Baw would whisper, “Sometimes you get a hunch or a gut feeling? You know what I mean?”
Well I now allow those strange feelings or emotion of ‘something’ not being quite right and learn from them. Don’t dismay the fact that we were all born with an intuition which is the same as those weird feelings, my wonderful grandma always talked about. However, today my off feelings were because of me. Me and my chatter to myself.
You see, as I carefully read the words of Louise Hays,
Hmmmm…yes, I think I began my day off okay. I began with grateful, sent great love to all I know, I cooked breakfast…ohhh I think I got it!
So she means, what I say to me, about me, that matters?
You see as I jump off the high dive and plunge directly into the deep waters of entrepreneurship, I have found an entirely new set of deep- hidden insecurities!!! I have literally been doing exactly what my first book was entitled,”Stop Beating Up Your Best Friend! I was beating myself up, minute by minute.”
If you could physically see what I have been doing to me, shew it would be U G L Y! A broken leg would be nothing to the abuse I have been giving to myself. In one writing, Louise questions”What do you say to yourself about yourself?”
I began to collect, by journaling, all the ugly, mean, degrading things I said about myself. I couldn’t stand to go back any further than yesterday! It was too painful!!!!
If you knew me, well you would probably be shocked to hear this! However, it’s true and I am so grateful to have gained this knowledge. You will be relieved to know, I forgave myself. I am dedicating each moment to utilizing the Hawaiian: Ho oponopono prayer. (Please check my spelling on this).
As the day evolved, it was terrific! I continuously repeated I approve of myself, I love myself and I accept myself. Over and over! Said it, sang it, chanted it too. Still, not much change. It almost felt as though my mind was waiting for me to say it again, so it would have a quick response to shut my kind words down.
After a beautiful bike ride and time spent with my husband, I continued the process, in my head, “I approve of myself, I approve of me, myself and I.
By 6 o’clock in the morning, I had probably repeated this 100 times or more since, I took the challenge. I said it over and over, “I love you and I accept/approve of me (talking to myself).”
But I found that this is no different than forming a new habit! Not that it is hard labor, but to change what you say about you, to you and others…now this is tedious.
While fulfilling my Toastmasters role for the morning, I thought before I spoke, I attempted to stay calm and on task. Now almost chanting in my head were multiple ways to say, I APPROVE OF ME, I approve of what I said, whispering, singing, I felt like Dory, instead it was just keep approving, just keep approving.
Has it helped? I think that question needs to be on hold, until a little more research has been completed. However, I do know one thing, I am much more aware of what I was doing to myself than ever before.
I feel super grateful for this amazing journey. Everytime, I write I become more and more invested into Livelove’s mission and/or vison.
Don’t forget we will be presenting a few of our ‘how to’ BE Happy techniques, as well as, share with you, some new and exciting news about the company. Dec. 8th, 7 o’clock, Madison Indiana.
Hello let me introduce myself my name is love, pink, joyful, laughter, fun, accepting, free-spirited, sensual, kind, caring, understanding, insightful, focused, millionaire, educator, magnificent, dynamic, sparkly, diamond lover, debater, healthy, swimmer, who loves others and wants them to come along and take this ‘HAPPY’ adventure with me! My name is Teena Drake, my game is living life as HAPPY as possible.
Wow! Brag much Teena? Nope I don’t have to brag this is how people have described me and the adjectives I have chosen to identify my life with. You see my entire life has been altered for the better of me, but the most exciting part is for the betterment of you too!
You might be puzzled, but allow me to take a couple of pieces of this puzzle and show you a glimpse of the possibilities. I am so excited right now I can barely type! I keep walking away saying don’t do this! It’s to scary to tell the world what you have learned! But if I keep it a secret well I can’t keep this feeling or life! Which puts me in a pickle! Therefore, I am busting out!!!! So if you are ready to see who you are and find that ‘HAPPY’ place you have been longing for follow me on this adventure…as I reveal a lifetime of learning, but let’s begin with what I have learned since December 8th, 2016. The event, the blessing, that had to happen for me to have received such a wonderful gift for the world – that can seem gloomy and sad. It’s a gift full of joy, happiness, adventure or just a hike in solitude the world is a beautiful place as long as you are happy!
First Assignment: 1, Write your name 2. Write all the adjectives or activities, that make up you (NOT OTHER PEOPLE) 3. Now ask by text or email so they can think about it, how some of your friends, family members, or acquaintances would describe you. (The third step came from Jack Cannefield’s writing). 4. Read all of them and delete any you do not like and own the ones you love. 5. Anything you would like to share about this first step to ‘Being’ ‘Happy’ tag me so I can read it and share! I look forward to reading about the amazing YOU!
When I began this process I was unsure how other people would describe me, but some of the things I said about myself were not nice. If you come up with a similar scenario and you are saying negative things about yourself, even if you won’t write it you are thinking it continuously, STOP! I know it’s not that easy trust me, but I promise I can help you. Mmmm I take that back I can’t help you, but I can provide you with the tools to help yourself.
I hope you have a beautiful weekend and remember God Loves You No Matter What!
Please! Please!Please, Share all of my post if you are struggling or know of someone else struggling with this game of ‘Life!’ Why? You ask? Because I have been given a gift that if, I want to keep, I must share it with as many people possible. Therefore, I am asking that you tell your friends and family to follow me on WordPress, Facebook-Teena Drake, Twitter-Livelove pinkologist@TeenaDrake, Instagram- live_love_pinkologist and you tube. When I begin to video this series I will let you know so you can subscribe to Livelove Pinkologist. (Or you can subscribe anyways). Thank you and God Bless Each of You and may you BE HAPPY!
I have been studying the law of Attraction for quite sometime and yet I am always amazed when I practice it. In case you have not studied this universal law I will explain it to the best of my ability!
The Law of Attraction says whatever you think about you bring about. Or in the Bible it says ask and ye shall receive. Another is energy flows where attention goes. There are many more like for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Last but not least what goes around comes around.
I realize those last two do not appear to be a definition for this law, but think about it people who practice using the law of attraction, always say it doesn’t matter if it is a negative thought/desire or a positive thought/desire it will send either/or back to you.
For example: My thoughts and fears while writing this will come to fruition if I so choose to focus on other people’s beliefs and thoughts. If I sat here and didn’t post this because I was afraid of negative feedback from religious groups or followers, who disagree with my beliefs. However, I do not choose to utilize this law in a negative way so I believe when you read this, you will have learned something or been so excited about the information you will comment, re-post, follow my blogg or send me all the best in my new career.
Anyways, recently we have had some struggles in our family. Nothing bad, but just kind of stressful. I would say my prayers for everyone and then stay a little longer, in prayer, to help relieve the stress.
Saturday morning Nick reminded me to only focus on the positive and/or the end result. We talked a bit and a light bulb came on! YOU are RIGHT!!!!! I am stressing out because all I keep focusing on is stressing out. Sounds kind of crazy, but that is true. You know how you think about something that could be or might happen, too much and you make your self sick? Thats exactly what the law of attraction does.
So I reflected back on my studies, read a few articles and jumped back on track! Now the first day was a struggle. I began with a grateful list, everything I was grateful for. Then I would catch myself worrying or stressing and I would read it. Then I became aware! Aware of my conversations, my thoughts or reactions to events. Slowly I began to see a lighter, bubblier, happy me! One by one events did an about face. Even when Nick needed me to drive to Bedford to jump his car after leaving the lights on, I didn’t feel negative or frustrated. I just went to Bedford, enjoyed the music, hugged him and went on my way.
Normally, I would share more examples with you guys, creating a picture of exactly what happened just to prove it was real or give you a sense of AWE, but not today. I am not giving you a conclusion. YOU ARE…Your closing will only happen if you believe in ENERGY!
Image is by: swiftfire.org