Tag Archives: Laughter

How dare you share your flatulence!!!

As I swam lap after lap, three men…one, two, & three, rotated in and out of the lanes, next to me.

I swam and swam with a sense of applausable luxury!

Until…Oh my! Oh me!

How can it be????

All three men… one, two, & three, are suffering from gas…where they must let their flatulence free!

Oh my! Oh me…why must you share with me?

Stay home if your belly is full and need a release…

Frrrrrt…Frrrrrt….. (Pause for one, two and three) yet another is free! FRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!

I jump up, lifting my head from under the water, starteled as can be…

Scanning the surface for, which of these three…one, two, & three, had bubbles illuminating, it was he?

Much to my surprise those peculiar three…one, two, & three, had disappeared!

Oh my! Oh me…what does this mean?

As I peeled my new earplugs, out of my ears… the sounds were almost deafening!

And then I realized…the only sounds for me, while swimming with one, two, and three, were ME! 

Could it be? It had to be! It was not they, who I was blaming, Not one, two, and three…sharing their flatulence with me…

Oh, How DARE you share your flatulence with thee!

So the next time you are BLAMING… he, her and me…

Look within , to see, if it is THEE! Who is letting the flatulence FREE!

Check us out…Life Coaching at its best…no schedules to uphold, meetings and the best yet, our services are affordable for everyone. (P.S. We will do even better, if you feel like we can help you in any way, we will let you decide how much our coaches are worth. But only for a limited time offer) Get in touch with Livelove.teena@gmail.com

(Our e-mail and webpage are changing very soon! Be on the look out to sign up for our weekly news letter and it is FREE!!!!!! As well as flatulence free!)

Livelove

&

Carry On

Www.Livelovellc.org

Changing the world one happy thought at a time!

God Bless You!

 

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How to cook a Pizza…

The new trend is to pick up a freshly prepared pizza and take it home to cook. When this idea first began Betty, my friend and mother-n-law, introduced us to a Papa Murphy’s Pizza. However, Eric and I had never purchased one.

Hold on tight to your teeth because this is one of our funniest adventure!

As most of you know, I was not a very fun Valentine last year. In fact, we were both racking our brains trying to figure out what we did. Finally, Eric said, “Plan it and we will do it!”

The morning came and I continued to fret over the day. Then I jumped up and went shopping. Oh this was turning out to be a perfect day. I found two gigantic Flamingos kissing and bought a card. Next, I slipped over to his work and basically filled the back seat with balloons for his Valentines SURPRISE!

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To complete the day, I went to Papa Murphy’s and purchased a beautiful, fresh, fully loaded pizza. This was my first time so the girl provided me with complete instructions! “The instructions are on the top and your’s are the ‘middle’ instructions because of your choice of crust.”

Sounds simple enough. Honey came home, we went for a long bike ride and came home starving.

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As I prepared the oven he handed me the instructions and unwrapped the pizza. The aroma of all the toppings and seasonings filled the air. I read the ‘middle’ instructions. “Okay, four hundred degrees, cook for 18 to twenty, on lowest rack in oven. I have got this!”

“Hey do we cook this on this paper thing?” Eric asked.

I read the ‘middle’ instructions once again, OUT LOUD.

“Honey, it says nothing about what to cook it on,” I replied.

In about five minutes, I turn around to Eric almost screaming at me! “HEY! I need some help here, I don’t know how we are going to get this pizza on the rack,” he stated, with half of the pizza in both of his hands and the pizza appears to be, GROWING!

I ran over to help him. We attempted to fold it over, scoop it up with a spatualy, and scoot it over to the rack. (We are always determined, if he begin something it will be completed). After quite sometime and both of us being covered in Garlic Butter from one side and red sauce from the other. We now had an oversized crust with all the toppings with different sauces combined together, folded over in a calazone shape and placed it on the rack. Which we had pulled the rack out of the oven, to see if that would help.

Let me help you visualize this disaster. As we stood back and looked at this pizza, we now had a pizza covering the entire bottom rack of our oven. I had pizza sauce in my hair, up my arms and his hands continued to have bits of uncooked pizza crust stuck to it! The fresh crust is sagging in between each slot of the rack down into the stove top.

By this time Eric is speaking to me in a loud voice and explaining how we were not able to put this in the oven. I was laughing so much that he was trying to not be upset with me. (It doesn’t matter, I now think most things are funny). I said, “Hang on! I will call your mother!”

Betty could barely understand me as I laughed and laughed, I attempted to repeat the story, “Do you remember how you cooked Papa Murphy’s pizza.”

She was laughing at me and Eric, who was complaining in the background and swearing he was throwing it away! Unfortunately, she didn’t remember. So it was back to the drawing board.

I called the store, continued to laugh hysterically, and asked how to cook this pizza. The sweet little voice on the other end of the phone, chuckled at my story and said, “Mam, you are supposed to cook it on the paper pan it was originally on.”

Simultaneously, Eric barges out the door, onto the patio, with the instructions in hand, waving them like they are the winning lottery numbers! He says, loudly but still in a funny way, “TEENA, the very first instructions state, ‘Cook Pizza on provided pan.’ Why didn’t you read all of the instructions?”

Still on the phone with the store, I burst out laughing and said, “She told me three times the ‘middle’ instructions.”

We all three are now laughing.

I hung up the phone and we both stood, silently, glaring at this beast of a crust, now dripping in more directions than we can count! Questioning, How are we going to transfer this pizza back onto that? And how will it ever fit again?

We ended up folding it into fours and with four hands. We scooted this monstrosity of a pizza back on this tiny little pan. To avoid Eric from becoming more frustrated, I quickly smooshed the crust and scattered the toppings. It kind of fit, at least enough to cook.

The evening turned out to be perfect! He brought me beautiful flowers, we went for a bike ride and had a pizza adventure of a lifetime!

Life is funny to me. How can an unplanned, not materialistic focused, cooking pizza, Valentine’s Day become such an awesome memory? Because I have learned the journey is the most valuable part of living!

I couldn’t have planned a date night like this, if I tried. But I know neither of us will ever forget it!

I realize life gets you down. Just look at me, I have really had to keep from writing, lately because I allowed the politics to irritate me!

However, no matter what life, is to be lived! Good, Not so Good, Happy times, Down times, they all come together to create a beautiful plethora of colors to experience. I wish I could promise you everyday will be sunshine and butterflies, but I can not.

What I can promise you…when you have down times enjoy the time to rest and recoup because the upswing is going to be exhilarating and you will need your strength to ENJOY it to the fullest. I have never once experienced something negative that the next experience was not unbelievably TERRIFIC!

Keep your head up…You have got this and don’t forget to…

Live Love

&

Carry On

We would love to hear from you!

Livelove.teena@gmail.com or

Www.Livelovellc.org/home

I do ask if you enjoyed this, please share for someone else to laugh a little!

Sunday Funday…

Don’t look too deeply into this picture. It was a funny incident to make Sunday an even funnier day! What you are looking at is an exfoliating mask, by glamglow. It had never been opened and as I squeezed for the third time, out burst this gritty, green, clumpy, goo. I began laughing and laughing, not recognizing where the majority, had ended up.

As I smeared on the face mask and checked to ensure all was well covered, I glanced up and there they were…two tubular, greeish colored, squirts that looked similar to baby poop, formed in the funniest letters, P U. I immediatly began laughing and laughing. Eric came in wondering what the heck was going on.

Of course, when I showed him, he giggled, but also rubbed his head in wonder. LOLOLOLOLOL! I am still laughing.

Isn’t it funny how the simpiliest things can set the tone for your entire day? Of course it goes both ways, if you focus on the sad, depressing issues, in return the world is an unhappy place. However, if you take the first step and focus on the happy, funny issues, even if it is as simple as a mirror oops, you will begin to feel a little better. You will begin to see the world as a much brighter place. Regardless of everyone else’s opinion.

God Bless

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.Livelovellc.org/home

The real mammogram, part two…

Somebody, asked, “Which part of the last story was fiction?”

I giggled a little until I was almost rudely laughing in my friends face! (Good thing she knows me). Anyways, as I attempted to get it straightened out, I replied with, “You know me! I will never admit how silly I am, especially about going to the doctor.”

She looked at me with a half glare and a half stare. However, she figured out I was only admitting SOME of it was true! 😂😂😂

This next story I may have written about, before, but I do hope to help any other big chickens, like me, get their mammogram!

After my crazy escapades throughout the day, I did actually miss my first mammogram! When I arrived, I apologized over and over again. (Thinking, she would be rude and snippy because I messed up the schedule).

The sweet lady, probably around thirty, said, “Calm down! We have mix up in schedules all the time.”

“Now give me a minute, I will look at the schedule and see what we can do.”

I thought, “Wow! She is simply precious!”

As I waited, shifting my foot from one side to the other, looking around and day dreaming of another day I could take off work, to of course, finally get this over with! I think maybe December or… January would be better after the holidays!

My thoughts were rapidly interrupted when, Margaret (whom I thought was a sweetheart) said, “Just have a seat, we have an opening in like fifteen minutes!”

WHAT? Now wait a cotton pickin minute! I wanted to shake my head noooo in a random motion and take off sprinting for the door! I think I can make it if I take proper position, get set, ready, GO! Okay no, I didn’t sprint out, instead I took a seat.

When she called my name, I can remember thinking, you got this, no worries.

The nurse took my vitals and she said, “Calm down Mrs. Drake. You are making your blood pressure be elevated.”

“Okay…I am really trying.”

Then I stepped on the scale and thought I would make a joke, I snickered and said, “I think I need to have somebody break my elbow, so I can’t get the fork to my mouth.” (Laughing and laughing at my own joke).

“Naa, it wouldn’t work they would hook straws together and feed you milk shakes!”

Oh boy, she is good! She never missed a beat, said it and kept on walking. Before she left me in the ‘other’ waiting room, she did giggle and remark with, “That was funny though, keep the utensils from your mouth!” Shakes her head and walks away.

In the beginning it was one large breasted lady sitting with me. She was kind of a mixture between Rosanne and/or the blonde medium, on tv. (But not as dolled up as the medium).

She began, “Hello, it’s your day eh? Mine too! They sometimes get you in and out, but other times you must wait.”

I smiled and didn’t say anything, I couldn’t have anyways!

She continued,”Don’t you hate these things? My husband told me he would take me out for dinner after this because he knows how bad I hate them. Don’t you hate them?” (She sucks in a huge breath of air to ensure she would have enough to finish her rambling).

“I mean and really they could get a better technician, she always has cold hands and a crappy personality. She is not personable. Why do they hire old bitter-bitties to do such a delicate job? I mean it hurts when she smashes these into that machine! Then she says get closer, stand up straight, suck it in, let it out, don’t move. All the while she is pulling and turning my boobs.”

Shew, she took a breath, but only to end with, “Don’t you agree?”

Don’t tell her Teena, just nod your head and let it go! It’s all I could think. However, I am really honest and of course I said, “I don’t know, I have never had one.” (With a quiver in my voice).

“What!!! Oh let me see, let me see.”

She turns me towards her, as if she was going to give me an exam. Looks at my breast and says, “You should be fine, I have alot of boob, so it hurts me more.”

As she was reliving all of her past mammograms and how horrific they were, a small framed, yet tall, lanky woman had slipped in the waiting room and strategically sat down, closest to the door. She quietly, almost as if she were talking to herself, chimed in, “I hate these things, my boobs are so fragile, it hurts and her hands are so cold,” (As if she frequented the mammograms so much, she knew the technician, like they had coffee together every week).

This clucking chatter continued to grow by leaps and bounds. As the loud, boisterous lady continued to attempt to ease my mind, new ladies appeared one by one. All had a new horror story. Some where about others and yet some were almost coming to life, as they relived each detail, of the dreaded, torturing mammogram!

If you have never had one, READ ON! It gets better, I promise!

As each name was called to enter behind ‘The Door’ I decided to change the scene, for me!

I mean (not trying to offend anyone), but I love my breasts. And I will do anything to keep them, even if it is essential, to endure a little pain.

As I slowly approached the gigantic door, I remember, physically lifting the girls up a bit, as to reassure them, “We got this!”

The small, late fifties, technician repeated my name, our eyes met and she began, in a robotical way, to explain what was about to happen and her expectations of me. I listened intently, looking for a joke to slide in and break the ice. There, right there Teena… “Now, Mrs. Drake there might be some discomfort, please just bare with me…”

I abruptly interrupted, “Mmmm I might like it…” (Pause, hold up, rewind, I quickly stopped my silly joke).

“Did you say pain?” (stammering around as if to explain I wasn’t meaning the pain, I would like, ummmmm, I was just trying to joke…)

Okay, it’s time for me to panic. I tried to explain my silly words and attempted to nicely tell her, what all I had been told about her. Of course it came out all wrong and I was for sure, I offended her. Until she had my right girl in her cold, bony hand then added the other one…awkwardly I jumped and shivered, a bit, as she gently placed it where it needed to be. As she began to release and LOWER the smasher hammer (I do not know what it is called), a quick pause, briefly happened and as the fear appeared on my face, we both BURST INTO LAUGHTER!!!!

“I mean do you ever think about telling people what you really think?” I asked as my laughter continued through each word.

“All the time! I mean it’s not like I am going to punch you and I try to be careful, but I only have so much, I can do.”

I chimed in as to assist her in her case, “Exactly, it could be worse.”

Not only did we become friends, I survived my first mammogram without a bruise and both girls intact!

Just remember everything is all based on perspective. How you perceive the world around you is, how you perceive yourself. Follow your path with a joyful heart!

God Loves You, No Matter What!

Livelove

&

Carryon

The message is clear, life is too short to live in fear. Enjoy the now.

Www.livelovellc.org/home

(Hope to see you December 8th!)

When you hear_____: Do you think______?

I remember studying psychology in my freshman year of college and being intrigued with the way the human mind thinks and functuons. I love its complexity yet simplicity almost appearing to be twins. Then I began to study fun topics like life, living, law of attraction and the brain, which I now know, has been one of my greatest competitors! 

What? My brain is a competitor? Yes, when I began to practice happy thoughts and emotional attachments, I realized my brain was being a big bully! I know this seems a bit bizarre. However, keep following me and you too may need to do what Zig Ziglar says, “A check up from the neck up!”

Each time I would begin to look up, dream big, or advance, my brain would compare past incidents. For example: I would visualize about being a great motivational speaker, well known by all, as a ray of sunshine. (Similar to mother Teresa but much louder and out spoken.) Yet my brain would reflect and scramble for a memory to relate it to. Don’t get me wrong if I had a good memory of a business, that I was extremely successful at, then she would insert that feel good emotion or memory. However, because of my lack of positive background knowledge or past experiences that brought me wealth, my brain reflects on a negative experience. Why? To protect and serve me ( and you). In other words, if we are continuously trying to stay in a feel good vibration, enjoying life at its greatest lengths, then our brain will challenge any idea that might create us harm. Becoming our greatest competitors when changing our lives. 

My messages have been loud and clear, lately. It is human nature to seek a happy, feel good vibration. Thrill seekers seek thrilling events, lovers seek out a partner to have fun with, drug users either seek out an escape, almost a thrill yet others use to fit in, because their brains do not function like everyone elses. No matter what; human nature is to live to be happy and have fun!!! Instead many of us are living against our feel good emotions; we are living against our life purpose. It’s time to evolve and find pure happiness. 

How do you know what your life purpose is? I am not positive on the how, but I know that we are to live to be happy. We all choose the way we live. We choose our careers, activities, friends, our salary, and anything else related to our lives. Yes, we will experience difficult times, but we still choose how we react and how we feel. 

If everytime you begin a conversation and the other person says something you connect with negatively. Try it again…and again until you find a feel good conversation. In other words your main objectives is to be happy and if your daily activities or conversations are not happy then change them. Yes all of them. 

If everytime  you hear something you reflect on a negative connatation or situation or you pass judgement on someone because of how they were twenty five years ago, change it! This process may take a bit of effort. However, I promise it’s worth it!!! Life is meant to live, enjoy, laugh, and have fun. Feel the feel good emotion, feel your way to happiness. Will you have small moments of sadness? Yes, but once you have decided to live in a constant state of happiness, fun and joy, you will not ever want to continue in that state of yuk! Or aadness, negativity. You will quickly win over your competitor the brain and provide him/her with a new ‘feel good’ emotion!! 

Livelove

God Loves You No Matter What!

Love you!!!! 

Sunday thoughts…

If you have been reading my blog you will know I am on a magnificent journey and I want to share it with you…so come along and enjoy with me! 

As I laid in bed this morning I continually received a message to write about the down moments or the not so happy thoughts. Which I don’t like to do very much. However, it is a portion of life we all deal with just some more than others, so here it goes. 

4:00 A.M. eyes pop open brain is racing, get up go to the restroom and go back to bed. Sound familiar? Only to close your eyes tightly and beg to go back to sleep! That’s what happened to me this morning. I would toss and turn, cover up only to strip off the blankets slowly almost like a form of bedtime excercise. Finally, I laid as still as possible to keep from waking up my husband. BAM! then it began! 

What began? You ask? The flood! A flooding of thoughts, emotions, past scenarios, negative events, sadness, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, criticism the list could continue. As I write about it my chest feels heavy, my palms become sweaty, my neck hurts. I search my paradigm (past people, places, events that make up me) for a good connection, feeling or frequency. Anything to counteract this moment or feeling. Why did I have this moment? If things are so wonderful and my life is magnificent, why would I spend the most important time of my day feeling yuk? 

To be quite honest it is part of life!! I am sure at this moment you are saying, “Thanks Teena! I already knew life sucked why did you need to remind me?” 

Those moments are inevitable to life because it’s a frequency. What goes up must come down. Meaning everyone will have moments of struggle or what I like to call trough of the frequency. The one big difference is how long you stay in that state. Bare with me this ending is phenomenal! 

Let me give you an example: after a beautiful vacation you come back refreshed and ready to go. Then Monday morning comes and you don’t feel quite so inspired that is normal. If you love your career and life this low feeling or sadness will pass quickly it’s just you were so happy and relaxed for that amount of time the routine is difficult get back. However, in a few short minutes (if you are happy) those feelings quickly flee. 

Notice I continually said if you are happy, if you are on the right path. If you are not then those sad thoughts, feelings, frustrations, which will creep in for fleeting moments for everyone, will not be fleeting, but rather they will stay! 

I know you don’t want that and I don’t like those feelings so now it’s time to reset! How? Change it, in your mind. Now at first this isn’t easy, but once you make it a habit it becomes fun. 

Step one listen for a minute to the conscious mind. For example: this morning my mind would say what if they criticize your writings/teachings, what if they don’t like you, what if you are a flop, what about an unnamed person, who I spoke with last night, took offense to the message I gave her. By the time I began playing my game to erase these thoughts I could have cried. I was sad, worried, frustrated and feeling quite disgusting/ fearful. 

Now it’s time to come back! If your mind says what if? Say in your mind well what if and fill in the blank. Example: what if you never get on Jimmy Falon? My mind says: What if I do and I hug him, all the Roots Band, his announcer (can’t think of his name) and blow big kisses out to crowd!! 

Okay I know that was my come back, but it was fun and I know you could see it. I have a big smile on my face from just writing it. But you get the idea. I usually don’t even let those what If’s continue but today I did for a little longer to help you. The funny thing is my end result was amazing! 

Anything, negative your conscions mind tells you, stop it!!! Yes argue with it. Yes bad things have happened in your life, yes you have suffered, yes someone has said mean things to you, but do you enjoy that feeling or what I call is a replay, like watching a rerun over and over again, thinking that it’s being filmed the same way each time. Create the feeling of joy, argue until it becomes fun, don’t fight just reset! Idc what it is you want to have, do, or be!! You can have it! It’s not that I don’t live ‘real’ life I live just like everyone else, I feel those emotions in the valley, the only difference is my life is on such a high frequency that I choose to only be in the valley for short moments, to remember how awesome life really is! 

Take time today to stop the negative thoughts, experience them but then shut them down. Talk to yourself, create the image you desire! God Bless and never forget you are a gift! 

Has it been eighteen years ago? What year is it? 2017?

It was just like yesterday!!! March sixteenth 1999…the band Yellow 5 was playing at the Toy Tiger. What an event! It hadn’t been the first time they played there, but was definitely one of the most important. There was a company there to sign, who? Yes, our little hometown band, they were on their way to being FAMOUS!!!!!! However, guess who was in labor at about six o’clock in the morning and Eric was to leave to pursue stardum at one  pm. Not good timing to say the least! But what an adventure.

The contractions would play with us all day. Become closer together then subside. I had decided they were probably a false alarm. However, he was over due, so we were on alert. I will never forget the moment when I called the doctor, explained my contractions and said, “If it would be okay, could I hold off until after midnight, to check in to the hospital?”

After a long pause, which seemed like an eternity, she chuckled and said, “Teena, I don’t think you get to choose that, but since this is your third child, you will know when to get here.”

My thoughts were you do not know me very well, but okay.

As the minutes ticked and clumped into hours my labor proceeded to get worse. Now a solid ten minutes a part and not stopping. They were consistent. It was now 12:45 and my honey was becoming anxious. Then he did the sweetest thing, he got down on both knees planted a big kiss on my huge, tight, belly button protruding, in labor, pregnant stomach and said, “Little buddy I love you, you know I do…but truthfully I am begging you to hold off one night.”

At that moment my little heart melted. Awe how freaking sweet is he for saying that. IF YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE SOME PROPERTY FOR SALE, IT ONLY HOLDS A LITTLE WATER!!!! LOLOLOL

What happened next…Let’s just let it be known my huge, rolly, polly, extreme pain came out and I began to say not such nice things to him. But hey who wants to recall the negative so let’s move on!.

Anyways, he went on to the gig and said, “I will be there, if you have to go to the hospital.”

I guess I would deal with whatever happened.

It was around nine o’clock my mom and her boyfriend insisted on driving me (thank goodness because I was going no matter what). As we merged on to the interstate I began to have pretty severe contractions. I had bought a brand new outfit for the gig, attempting to look as beautiful as possible weighing in at too much to post!

As we pass the exit to the hospital I recall Jon yelling, “Pull off! Charlene pull off! This is ridiculous!”

“No you better not pull off I won’t get out. I will make it! Just keep rolling the gig is about ready to begin. We can make it, go go go!”

Mom just pushed the petal to the metal and we were sitting in the Toy Tiger parking lot. Black makeup was pouring down my face, making me look like I was a pregnant zombie (wonder if that was foreshadowing for the Nuelydedz).

I fixed my face and rolled out of the car, literally I rolled. As I waddled closer to the door I saw a black man covering the doorway almost like he was waiting on me to say, “You are not coming in here little mama.”

As I got closer and closer I realized it was our good friend, the bouncer, Mo. I grinned as my head rolled back so I could look him in the eye or at least close enough. I am still hurting and I said, “Hey Mo it’s me with Yellow 5 I am just not feeling well.”

“Nope you do not need to be in here. You need to turn around and go back home.”

As if some kind of demon took over my body I lowered my head for a second, probably because I was having a pain. Then looked back up and in a scary voice said, “Mo! I have been through hell and back today so could you please move over and let me through!!!!!”

If you knew him you would know he never budged for anyone. He was one of the best bouncers in the world. However, thank goodness he felt sorry for me. He stepped a side and even found me a table close to the back so I could watch, but could exit quickly, if needed.

We had about fifteen minutes to spare so I sat down. Eric appeared to be happy to see me, he might have been afraid of me, but he played it off well. I am just kidding! If you know either of us very well, you know we don’t stay mad for very long at all.

The lights went dim, silence filled the room for a split second and when the stage lit up Eric Drake raised his drum sticks and hit the first lick…it stopped! What? Yes, my labor pains stopped almost simultaneously. I don’t mean I had a little pain, then they stopped. In fact I would push back and forth a few times just so he would kick my hand. Once I knew he was fine we went on together, enjoying the gig. The night seemed to end quickly and I was home, curled up in bed before I knew it. Still no pain, achey feeling just little ole pregnant me, like nothing happened.

Next morning March 17, 1999 appeared to be an average morning. Eric went on to work and I got the girls ready for school. Around 1:00 I told my mother and brother n law I didn’t feel well. Therefore, I was going to take a bath. My mom was pacing back and forth. She knew I was acting funny, so she called Eric to come home early. When he walked in the bathroom to check on me I stood up in the bathtub said, “Honey, I don’t feel very good!”

His face was worth this entire story! He first turned white, then he began to raise his voice…never looking me in the eye. Only to stare at my belly like there was an alien peaking out of my belly button. When I asked him what is wrong?

He looked at my belly and calmly said, “Get dressed, we are going to the hospital.”

Then it happened. I looked down to see what he was so freaked out about. I am not kidding you when I say it was something like a phenomenon. My gigantic, stretched out, pregnant belly had sank to a small dodge ball size. It literally looked like somebody told Nicholas to jump into a too small of a container and scrunch altogether, to ensure  this delivery is a quick process. You will be out of here before you know it. I began to panic. I yelled for my mommy and she came running. All she could do was hand me clothes in a frantic manner. After I was dressed the girls were quickly loading into our gold colored MPV mini van and we were off. By this time the contractions had begun! We were at five minutes apart and holding. We drove the girls across the Milton/Madison bridge only to hand over the girls to my daddy and step-mom. It looked alot like a three ring circus: I am screaming, off and on, hanging on the ‘Oh Shit’ handle. The side door oppisite of their front door flies open as if a rocket is going to shoot out and strike their next door neighbors. Out jumps Darion and Ashby. Ashby is screaming, “NO! I want to go with you please don’t leave me here. I don’t want to get out,” while she is pushing her meemaw and daddy away with her chubby little hands and almost leaping back and forth to keep from being caught, but she was too little to escape boh of them.

Not to mention her daddy was screaming, “ASHBY!” at the top of his lungs.

Now the kids are delivered and we are racing down the road with flashers on and me still halfway standing up screaming every THREE MINUTES NOW. My mother had decided we were going to deliver him in the van.

Once we arrived at the hospital my best friend Teresa Kidwell was waiting on me and we all just knew this was going to be fifteen minutes until Mr. Prince Charming Nicholas Drake would bless us with his presence. Nope, Nope Nope…my sweet little nurse Wendy Hines (one of the best nurses in the world), began prepping me for delivery, doctor was quickly behind too late for an epideral and BOOM he was scooting on down the chute…but abruptly came to a halt. Why? Because he was ten pounds nine ounces that’s why! My body said sorry call me tomorrow because I don’t know how we will ever get this one out of here.

His shoulders were stuck. That is the final answer. After a few hours we had to make a decision; his collar bone would have to be broke. They did it and finally he was here.

My grandmother was alive then. I am always so grateful that he grew up knowing her. They had a unique bond. I would go to the house after working all day and say, “Baw Baw how did you and Nicholas get along today?” (She wanted to watch him when he was about three a couple of days a week, to keep from being lonely).

She would reply with, “Well, Teena I guess we got along okay. Who are you talking about? Nicholas? Oh yes he is so quiet I almost forgot I had him.”

Ummmm I think that should have been my sign but he was fine! Some people might get offended by me making a joke about my grandmothers dementia, but until you have lived through it, you can not understand! If you didn’t laugh about it you would lose your mind!

Anyways I had a beautiful ten pound nine ounce little boy on March seventeenth nineteen ninety nine. He has brought each of us joy on a regular basis and I can’t believe how fast the years have flown by. We have good, bad, fun, snuggle, adventurous, heartbreaking, puzzling and most of all loving times and I am looking forward to many more. He has never fit in a mold or been the type to follow a crowd. He has a kind heart; magnificient musical talent among other talents. He has been my rock the past four months, while I haven’t been capable of many daily duties. I thank God for Nicholas Ryan Drake on a daily basis. I love you buddy! Happy Birthday!

May my stories relate to you, make you laugh, help you heal, entertain you, but most of all may they enrich your life in one way or another! God Bless Everyone!