Tag Archives: memories

What will they say about you?

Mom, Jamie and I participated in the Madison tour of homes last night. It was a spectacular evening! We viewed some of the most beautiful homes, museums and this year we were allowed to view a new portion of the Lanier Mansion! (If you have toured it before, go back the new addition is simply fantastic).

Anywhooooo, as we read note cards under pictures in the Historical Society, I began to think, (Yes, again).

Actually, I was appalled at several and I wondered, how will others describe me, when I am gone. Will I be remembered and if so for what?

Let me give you a quick example. This ladies picture hung on the wall (not her best either) and the short paragraph explained how she had been married four times and it was said she had a relationship with a famous writer, who was from this area.

Wait a minute!!! The only reason she was recognized is because she apparently was a tramp and slept with a famous person? Not married to him nor has done anything exceptional.

Remember, I am not saying ‘bad’ things about anyone it’s what her ‘legacy’ was.

Hmmmm…Stop and think what would people say about you? Next year, or one hundred years from now?

In Leader in Me training, #FranklinConvey said, “What would people say to or about you on your 80th birthday.”

Please don’t mistaken living to leave a legacy for living to please others or worry what others think! Not the same thing!!!!!

It’s not that any of us needs to be PERFECT! Or continually worry what others think or say about you or your beliefs.

The difference is a Legacy is big enough to drown out any cruddy down falls you may have. Everyone has them, but people that choose to have big legacies seem to have limited downfalls, after death, okay if it is a positive one. In other words if you are following that strong tug that pulls at your heart to do, be or have anything; or maybe you have committed your entire life to educating others, healing those in need, or whatever it is you choose, as long as you are following how good it feels, you are fine.

However, if you look over the past week and think if I was gone tomorrow, what would (whoever is important to you) say about me? And you don’t like the note card that might hang below your name…It is time to change!

It is time to rewrite your story. Begin setting those wrongs right and following your heart.

I was asked last night, “How do I?”

It doesn’t matter how!! Once again no one has ever known how they were to accomplish anything. They did know what they wanted to accomplish and they did have a why! However, how is left up to you and the universe.

Let me ask you something? If you pray a little or a lot, do you tell God or ask God to show you how? Or do you tell him how to answer your prayers?

Probably not! If we all knew how we were going to accomplish something don’t you think we would skip the journey? Or maybe even the prayer?

(I can honestly say that after December 8th, 2016, I will never question how again. Even when I slip backwards into that old stinking thinking, I won’t question how!)

Begin this moment to think what you want the important people in your life to remember you as! Then begin the journey to develop that spectacular you and note card under your name!

It may be only your family, you care about what they speak of you after you have departed or maybe you want more. Employees, friends or hey if you are Donald Trump, the entire world. I don’t care who it is. I know some of the things I want to be said about me and some I have accomplished, yet others I am continuing to explore. But one thing is for sure, I always want to be thought of as ‘sunshine’ and ‘laughter’.

I don’t care if someone reports how many college degrees I have had or speaks of how many careers I explored. However, I do care how I made them feel, when they encountered my spirit here on Earth. Do you?

What is your legacy? Do you have one? What footprint have you left, if today was your last?

God Loves You No Matter What!!!!!

Don’t forget to email us at Livelove.teena@gmail.com if you want to come celebrate with us! It will be the one year mark for my life changing event and I am super excited to share with you some of the life lessons I have gained.

We are only charging twenty dollars per person, now!!! Not because we had to, but because we are only accepting cash or check for this (technical difficulties with accepting credit cards, so this is easier lol. I keep reminding myself this is all apart of the journey!!).

It begins at 7 and continues until you are tired lol.

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU!

Ohhh and come as you would like to be in 2020! I will explain in a later posting!

Livelove

&

Carryon

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Ghost of Thanksgiving Past…

I can smell the bacon sizzling, eggs a cracking, batters being whipped and beaten. Come about four o’clock in the morning, Thanksgiving morning. I would slip down the stairs as quietly as the old crickety floor would let me and slowly, ever so slowly, open the door at the bottom of the steps. Sliding my small little girl body through a sliver of an opening, to ensure I did not awaken my mom and dad, who were on the hide-a-way sofa in the, soon to be magical dining room.

As my bare feet touched the cold floor, I would cringe, drawing it back in hopes I would not groan so loudly, to wake everyone up. As I approached the opening to the doorway of the kitchen, I could hear her clanking the pans (as quietly as she could) and almost methodically dancing, in her house robe like a glowing angelic human. If I didn’t disturb her and freeze like a statue, I could hear her lightly singing a sweet hymn. Usually something like, Thank you Lord, for saving my soul or I will walk with Him and I will talk with him….

I try to hold my breath for as long as possible, so I can hear and watch her for just one more minute, only to slip on a rug, lose my balance and come sliding in the kitchen, butt first. She basically, keeps going and says, “Teena Gay, what are you doing up it is too early and you will be cranky before Thanksgiving dinner is served!”

As I began to whine and explain how excited I was and I rambled on, she seem to forget what she had said and would start talking to herself. Almost as if a check list was in her head and not even I could get her off track (Which if you know me I can get anyone off track, most of the time).

Mmmmmmmmm, can you smell it? I can! I can smell the green beans a bubbling, the turkey browning, the sweet pies a cooling. One by one a family member would emerge. Poppy would slip down the steps, wrap his arms around Baw Baw, giving her a reverse hug and a sweet peck on the cheek. She would always stop, pause and embrace his hugs and his kisses.

You know as I sit and write this I can’t help, but pause, close my eyes and as the tears stream down my face, I give thanks! I am grateful for these precious memories.

I remember thinking my grandmother was super woman! You know, I might be wrong, but until my Poppy passed away I think she cooked the majority of the food. I know we all pitched in something throughout the years, but honestly that was Violet Ashby’s legacy! Not just Thanksgiving Dinners, but bringing people together, by opening her home and preparing the most delicious, blessed and cooked with love meal anyone could ever imagine.

The time would quickly come, when those who weren’t in town, would begin to arrive. Oh the smiles on everyone’s face. The big hugs that seem to be never ending as the back screen door would open and SLAM, directly behind anyone who entered. Greetings, greetings!!!! It was like a house full of laughter and the energy was so strong it seemed as though, our farm home was coming to life celebrating hundreds of years of family, would vibrate and glow.

Finally, it was time to eat. Now most of the time as we all gathered around the ‘big people’s’ table or the ‘kids’ table off to the side (I don’t think I sat at the big people’s table until after I was an adult of like 25! Lolololol), the room would be so loud, Forman Hamilton who was the neighbor down the road, could hear us. However, once my Poppy, Uncle Bob, or Uncle Rod said, “Let’s bless this food…”

We all stopped talking and immediately grabbed hands and bowed our heads. It was like a snap of the fingers when it happened! Next, BRING ON THE FOOD!!! Heavenly Ham, terrific turkey, goodness gracious gravy, pluffy potatoes, stupendous slaw & stuffing and Pie, pie, pie! Did I forget to mention Butterscotch PIE!

We would all pass the food around the table: macaroni and cheese oh my!

As Thanksgiving approaches, enjoy each person you are with. Take time to put your phones down and turn off your technology for just a moment and record those smells, laughters, moment by moment sounds and events in your memory bank. Because you can never relive this time again. Next year will be different. It may not seem much different, but it will be. Everyone will be a year older, have new perspectives, some will pass others will be born, no matter what the only way you can relive a memory, is create one!

 

Thank you for reading, sending you much love!

 

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.livelovellc.org/home

(Don’t forget to check out December 8th, our upcoming event/celebration is going to be fun!)

 

 

As I sit and weep…

As I sit and weep like a mother holding her sweet infant for the first time, I realize it is not because I am sad! In fact my tears that have melted the makeup off of my face, are out of pure happiness, joy, bliss and amazement!

Today, was my first photo shoot since BK! (Before Kids). It wasn’t fancy or for a glamorous modeling gig. However, I knew it had to be done.

I had tried to take some selfies, that was a disaster! So I did it.

You may still be wondering why I am crying. It surely was not because I had to have a photo shoot for my business/webpage.

Noo not at all! I am just grateful to be alive. I love this life and today as we scanned through the pictures, I laughed outloud! The photographer said, “You look beautiful! When you talk about your company, you glow! Then you smile and it becomes contagious.”

My thoughts were,”OMG I have so many things I could point out about this picture and they are not oh wow how amazing you look!”

Next, I came home began working on some loose ends, to ensure we are on target to begin advertising. Then I plopped down to take a glimpse of my photos. (You probably already know, but everything is electronic now. I wonder when pictures are going to become so digital/HD, they show when someone is letting off a big ole flatulent!)

What happened next was astonishing, to say the least. I opened up the first special she did, with Livelove underneath of me and I began to cry. First one tear, then another until it was a stream pouring down my face.

Why? You ask. To be honest…because I am ALIVE! I am alive I can feel pain, emotions, tears pouring down my face. Yes, I continue to struggle with criticizing myself, but I think that is an on going practice to improve our self image. It takes skill and stubbornness to argue with yourself. It also takes baby steps to achieve a complete understanding of just how special our lives are! I am in awe of life and living. I feel grateful for all the beautiful people that have been flowing into my life. Teaching, supporting, comforting and loving me. Who are you or what are you grateful for, right now? Feel how incredible it feels to remember those people, places or events that you feel grateful for! Doesn’t the very thought of it bring you relief and a sense of aweeeee?

Live for today, tomorrow may never come. As my grandma always said, “That is a dumb statement because tomorrow never comes, it’s always today.”

Once again if you are in a valley, right now. Hold on, breathe easy, look up the best is yet to come. This moment will pass, choose for the next moment to get a little better, easier to handle, easier to believe in living again.

Livelove

&

Carryon

Make New Memories.  

Happy Magnificent Monday!! Everyone, that works with me or has worked with me in the past, has a Monday image of me. What is that? I love, love, love, Mondays!!!! I am not sure why but I love them, always have. This Magnificent Monday is no different. I want to share a valuable lesson I learned recently and my goal is to help you create a magnificent day too!! 

Make new memories is the topic for today. Begin with a memory you already have. Hopefully, your brain is on auto pilot and you immediatly think of a great memory. However, it is up to you what memory you choose. This doesn’t take long to see, feel, and smell the past place does it? Awe…for me it’s magically delicious. Sometimes it’s a childhood memory, where I ride my bike so fast that my long, beautiful, brown hair flys in the wind, attempting to keep up with the rest of my body. I remember feeling no stress, no worries or fears. Other times its an adult memory where we have laughed so hard our cheeks hurt the next morning. Find a great memory and enjoy!!! 

Why did I entitle this make new memories because after that terrific experience take time to notice something. When sitting in a group carrying on a conversation stop and listen to what people are saying. In the past I did this with my students in a visualization setting. The funny part is I found if the students didn’t have a good memory or any memory of a particular message then the experiment didn’t work. 

For example: I love to travel and any kind of waterway is normally my destination. Therefore, when we were prepping for a new Science topic I would begin with a visualization, for them to see, feel, or touch in their mind, about the ocean or a mountain I have hiked, anything to help set the lesson into action. However, what I found is if they didn’t have a connection I had to create it for them. (This is why so many people argue or disagree with standardized testing because the system test all children the same.) However, if they do not have a memory or a paradigm to reflect on and make new connections or memories. then it becomes a guessing game. 

So next time you are talking with a group of friends listen to the conversation and yourself talking. Do you have a memory to connect with? If not make new ones. Begin today to plan the GREAT memories. I always say on Magnificent Monday, “Good morning world!!! This is the greatest day ever, help me make great memories today and be a blessing to others!”

Never forget God Loves You No Matter What!!! God Bless!!!!!

Has it been eighteen years ago? What year is it? 2017?

It was just like yesterday!!! March sixteenth 1999…the band Yellow 5 was playing at the Toy Tiger. What an event! It hadn’t been the first time they played there, but was definitely one of the most important. There was a company there to sign, who? Yes, our little hometown band, they were on their way to being FAMOUS!!!!!! However, guess who was in labor at about six o’clock in the morning and Eric was to leave to pursue stardum at one  pm. Not good timing to say the least! But what an adventure.

The contractions would play with us all day. Become closer together then subside. I had decided they were probably a false alarm. However, he was over due, so we were on alert. I will never forget the moment when I called the doctor, explained my contractions and said, “If it would be okay, could I hold off until after midnight, to check in to the hospital?”

After a long pause, which seemed like an eternity, she chuckled and said, “Teena, I don’t think you get to choose that, but since this is your third child, you will know when to get here.”

My thoughts were you do not know me very well, but okay.

As the minutes ticked and clumped into hours my labor proceeded to get worse. Now a solid ten minutes a part and not stopping. They were consistent. It was now 12:45 and my honey was becoming anxious. Then he did the sweetest thing, he got down on both knees planted a big kiss on my huge, tight, belly button protruding, in labor, pregnant stomach and said, “Little buddy I love you, you know I do…but truthfully I am begging you to hold off one night.”

At that moment my little heart melted. Awe how freaking sweet is he for saying that. IF YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE SOME PROPERTY FOR SALE, IT ONLY HOLDS A LITTLE WATER!!!! LOLOLOL

What happened next…Let’s just let it be known my huge, rolly, polly, extreme pain came out and I began to say not such nice things to him. But hey who wants to recall the negative so let’s move on!.

Anyways, he went on to the gig and said, “I will be there, if you have to go to the hospital.”

I guess I would deal with whatever happened.

It was around nine o’clock my mom and her boyfriend insisted on driving me (thank goodness because I was going no matter what). As we merged on to the interstate I began to have pretty severe contractions. I had bought a brand new outfit for the gig, attempting to look as beautiful as possible weighing in at too much to post!

As we pass the exit to the hospital I recall Jon yelling, “Pull off! Charlene pull off! This is ridiculous!”

“No you better not pull off I won’t get out. I will make it! Just keep rolling the gig is about ready to begin. We can make it, go go go!”

Mom just pushed the petal to the metal and we were sitting in the Toy Tiger parking lot. Black makeup was pouring down my face, making me look like I was a pregnant zombie (wonder if that was foreshadowing for the Nuelydedz).

I fixed my face and rolled out of the car, literally I rolled. As I waddled closer to the door I saw a black man covering the doorway almost like he was waiting on me to say, “You are not coming in here little mama.”

As I got closer and closer I realized it was our good friend, the bouncer, Mo. I grinned as my head rolled back so I could look him in the eye or at least close enough. I am still hurting and I said, “Hey Mo it’s me with Yellow 5 I am just not feeling well.”

“Nope you do not need to be in here. You need to turn around and go back home.”

As if some kind of demon took over my body I lowered my head for a second, probably because I was having a pain. Then looked back up and in a scary voice said, “Mo! I have been through hell and back today so could you please move over and let me through!!!!!”

If you knew him you would know he never budged for anyone. He was one of the best bouncers in the world. However, thank goodness he felt sorry for me. He stepped a side and even found me a table close to the back so I could watch, but could exit quickly, if needed.

We had about fifteen minutes to spare so I sat down. Eric appeared to be happy to see me, he might have been afraid of me, but he played it off well. I am just kidding! If you know either of us very well, you know we don’t stay mad for very long at all.

The lights went dim, silence filled the room for a split second and when the stage lit up Eric Drake raised his drum sticks and hit the first lick…it stopped! What? Yes, my labor pains stopped almost simultaneously. I don’t mean I had a little pain, then they stopped. In fact I would push back and forth a few times just so he would kick my hand. Once I knew he was fine we went on together, enjoying the gig. The night seemed to end quickly and I was home, curled up in bed before I knew it. Still no pain, achey feeling just little ole pregnant me, like nothing happened.

Next morning March 17, 1999 appeared to be an average morning. Eric went on to work and I got the girls ready for school. Around 1:00 I told my mother and brother n law I didn’t feel well. Therefore, I was going to take a bath. My mom was pacing back and forth. She knew I was acting funny, so she called Eric to come home early. When he walked in the bathroom to check on me I stood up in the bathtub said, “Honey, I don’t feel very good!”

His face was worth this entire story! He first turned white, then he began to raise his voice…never looking me in the eye. Only to stare at my belly like there was an alien peaking out of my belly button. When I asked him what is wrong?

He looked at my belly and calmly said, “Get dressed, we are going to the hospital.”

Then it happened. I looked down to see what he was so freaked out about. I am not kidding you when I say it was something like a phenomenon. My gigantic, stretched out, pregnant belly had sank to a small dodge ball size. It literally looked like somebody told Nicholas to jump into a too small of a container and scrunch altogether, to ensure  this delivery is a quick process. You will be out of here before you know it. I began to panic. I yelled for my mommy and she came running. All she could do was hand me clothes in a frantic manner. After I was dressed the girls were quickly loading into our gold colored MPV mini van and we were off. By this time the contractions had begun! We were at five minutes apart and holding. We drove the girls across the Milton/Madison bridge only to hand over the girls to my daddy and step-mom. It looked alot like a three ring circus: I am screaming, off and on, hanging on the ‘Oh Shit’ handle. The side door oppisite of their front door flies open as if a rocket is going to shoot out and strike their next door neighbors. Out jumps Darion and Ashby. Ashby is screaming, “NO! I want to go with you please don’t leave me here. I don’t want to get out,” while she is pushing her meemaw and daddy away with her chubby little hands and almost leaping back and forth to keep from being caught, but she was too little to escape boh of them.

Not to mention her daddy was screaming, “ASHBY!” at the top of his lungs.

Now the kids are delivered and we are racing down the road with flashers on and me still halfway standing up screaming every THREE MINUTES NOW. My mother had decided we were going to deliver him in the van.

Once we arrived at the hospital my best friend Teresa Kidwell was waiting on me and we all just knew this was going to be fifteen minutes until Mr. Prince Charming Nicholas Drake would bless us with his presence. Nope, Nope Nope…my sweet little nurse Wendy Hines (one of the best nurses in the world), began prepping me for delivery, doctor was quickly behind too late for an epideral and BOOM he was scooting on down the chute…but abruptly came to a halt. Why? Because he was ten pounds nine ounces that’s why! My body said sorry call me tomorrow because I don’t know how we will ever get this one out of here.

His shoulders were stuck. That is the final answer. After a few hours we had to make a decision; his collar bone would have to be broke. They did it and finally he was here.

My grandmother was alive then. I am always so grateful that he grew up knowing her. They had a unique bond. I would go to the house after working all day and say, “Baw Baw how did you and Nicholas get along today?” (She wanted to watch him when he was about three a couple of days a week, to keep from being lonely).

She would reply with, “Well, Teena I guess we got along okay. Who are you talking about? Nicholas? Oh yes he is so quiet I almost forgot I had him.”

Ummmm I think that should have been my sign but he was fine! Some people might get offended by me making a joke about my grandmothers dementia, but until you have lived through it, you can not understand! If you didn’t laugh about it you would lose your mind!

Anyways I had a beautiful ten pound nine ounce little boy on March seventeenth nineteen ninety nine. He has brought each of us joy on a regular basis and I can’t believe how fast the years have flown by. We have good, bad, fun, snuggle, adventurous, heartbreaking, puzzling and most of all loving times and I am looking forward to many more. He has never fit in a mold or been the type to follow a crowd. He has a kind heart; magnificient musical talent among other talents. He has been my rock the past four months, while I haven’t been capable of many daily duties. I thank God for Nicholas Ryan Drake on a daily basis. I love you buddy! Happy Birthday!

May my stories relate to you, make you laugh, help you heal, entertain you, but most of all may they enrich your life in one way or another! God Bless Everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home Sweet Home

I just found a story I wrote while in College. In fact it was the first time I ever aspired to be a writer. Or at least that I can remember. Picture this… second semester, just turned 18 years young, was at Western Kentucky University, dreams were shattered, boys were dumb/mean to me (just some of them), working 40 hours at three different jobs and I was only passing one class….Creative Writing.

If you are bored skip down past three paragraphs! I have it marked for you!

I wish so much I could remember his name! However, the professor was around 5 ft 8 inches tall (maybe a little taller), salt-pepper hair, kind of happy face like a clown without makeup, but a happy clown. He gave us a story to write about home. I remember thinking what a dumb thing to ask us to write about in the beginning of the second semester. I mean I am never going to get homesick so eh this is a dumb writing assignment.

As most of you know he didn’t care what I thought of his lesson! At all!!!! Therefore, I did the assignment. I wrote funny short stories about events that had happened over the summer between graduation and up to that particular point. I remember receiving my paper back and it looked like a blood bath. It needed editing in the worst kind of way! However, I had an A++. I was confused. At the top of the paper I received an excellent GRADE, but more importantly I remember the teachers words written on the top of that paper. It said, “Teena, you are a great writer. This should be your career don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

I don’t think I told anyone for a long time about my class, grade or his beautiful words because I was unsure I believed him. A writer? I don’t want to be poor! Why would I ever be a writer? I was always told I sucked in English from every English teacher I had except for one.

IF you need to skip to the best part! Begin here!!!!

However, I recently found my paper entitled Home Sweet Home! As I read his words on top of that paper and began to read my writings the tears flooded my eyes. I would read between tears dropping one by one. You see what he wrote changed my life forever, but what I wrote changed me.

The first paragraph began with this introduction: Come on! Come on…take a walk with me! Be careful because as you read your desires to move to the place, I call home, will become overwhelming! As you enter the county, crossing any county line you would like, the first thing you will enjoy is the rolling hills, full of beautiful trees that look so enticing you will want to stop and explore. (Don’t, it might not be safe). Maybe the nature doesn’t impress you, but the people will. Walk into any business including gas stations, banks, ummm okay the Country Store or drug store and you will find a smiling face. If they are not smiling they will tell you why and before you leave you will have made a new best friend, plus they will be smiling. Some people will walk up to give you a big hug and ask how your grandma is doing. Every turn, hillside, home is perfect. As for entertainment that is even amazing. We have community dances, dinners, Fall Festivals, hay rides, great bonfires for whenever and the Ohio River for summer fun. Still not impressed? Neither was I! However, let me continue because I didn’t know what I had until I was gone!

I will stop there because my paper was long and included names of some dear friends.

This paper entitled Home Sweet Home is still true today. I was with my husband most of the day and finally on our trip down Coopers Bottom he said, “Honey you talked to more people, hugged them, called them by name, sang to them (Happy Birthday) today then I think most people do in a lifetime! I am not complaining, but wow I am not sure you will ever be able to move.”

I looked at him for a long time before I responded, “No matter where I go or what I do. No matter how many places I visit or live…This will always be my HOME! Where everyone is friendly and it is beautiful beyond belief. It may not be perfect and definitely has limited amenities, but I don’t care. I love these people, our community  is the greatest. Anyone who was born and raised here may have left many years ago, but if you ask them where are you from? They will still respond Trimble County!”