Tag Archives: paradigms

The Lopsided Cake…

I could have never been a baker because they would have to throw a delicious lopsided cake away, based on principal. However, the truth is I am enjoying serving more and more lopsided, imperfect, delicious, ooey, gooey, cakes. It may seem odd for me to create this comparison to life, but if you stop and think about it, maybe you will see.

In the past I would become so upset over the smallest things. Oh my if someone didn’t like me or worst yet, thought bad of me! I mean someone told me the other day they didn’t appreciate or agree with one of my blogs. I batted my eyes, truly listened to their concern and apologized. No, I wasn’t angry, hurt or frustrated! I kind of understood where they were coming from. (I will come back to this conversation later in the post).

No, I have never been a baker and I am pretty sure most of my cakes have always been losided, similar to a volcano drooping down on one side, unevenly. However, in other ways I was a perfectionist! I expected everything to be perfect. Actually that’s not quite true, I expected, for everyone else, to have expectations, of me, to be perfect! That makes so much more sense, to me.

You see Ms. Debbie’s words of wisdom rings, throughout my head, when someone misunderstands something I have written or stated, “Teena, you need to finish that thought; not everyone knows you well enough to follow the many thoughts rolling through your head. That means you could be easily misunderstood.”

It is true. My thoughts are swirling by the millions and when I become excited or extremely emitting energy in one way or another, the outcome of my words are not always self explainatory!

Back to the point! In the past I always thought I had to be perfect. Although it is unrealisitic nor possible, I placed those restraints on myself. I always wished I could blame this on someone else, but I can’t. It isn’t because of the expectations my mother had, husband or children. Not what the school system placed on me nor the parents or students. It was me! I lived in a perfect world and if anyone messed it up, I would almost fall apart just like a baker would if he/she had to serve one of my slippery sloping cakes.

However, now I just don’t have it in me. Not really that I have slowed down or my thoughts have become less and less. That is far from the truth! I rarely have any particular expectations anymore. I feel myself evolving to one of the richest parts of my life, yet. It is amazing! The feeling of butterflies fluttering in my stomach, when I know Eric is on his way home. The excitement that overwhelmes me when I get to see all my children, family and friends. I am truly grateful and blessed.

I can remember (which I will only remember this for a moment then I am letting it go forever) coming home and being filled with anxiety, stress and aggitation. I worried about how everyone, I do mean everyone in my life chidren, husband, mom, dad, grandma, teachers, peers, students, principals…I worried about! I can’t tell you how many tears I have shed over someone being ‘mad at me.’ If you have ever felt this way or continue to live this way, read on I am about to spill the beans of how it is ‘fake news.’

Come in closer, get real quiet while reading this…IT IS NOT IMPORTANT! Yes, you heard it here first! Perfectionism is not important nor will it add to your life. It is true. Being ‘Perfect’ is ‘Fake News.’ I have meditated this entire year, almost everyday, to gather information or muddle through some theories, so I could share with you! Guess what? I have even tried to Remember why I hated someone (never really experienced HATRED, nor do I want to, so let’s call it disliked their actions). Could remember very little. Almost like when you soak an aspirin to give to an elderly, attempting to swallow. The memory still had a little substance, but not enough to recognize what it was and the end result was no more pain or suffereing from that situation! Wow!!!! In other words, “This too will pass.”

Yes, some memories carry a powerful impact both negative or positive, but the strongest impact is how you felt and how you feel. Instead of struggling or wrestling with the past, go bake a cake! Make it lopsided, oozing with melted icing and enjoy the laughter about your blunders.

It is time to come out of the closet, perfectionist. You are worthy of being terrific without being perfect. Just do it! Drop your rules and regulations for yourself and let us see the beautiful YOU! The VIBRANT YOU! It makes me so excited, I just want to break into song! You know a random song that says, “You are wonderful, be happy, enjoy, mess up and laugh along the way!!!”

Hmmmm I might have something!

Back to the blog posting that might have not been a complete or self explanatory concept, I admit I have imperfections! Thank you for noticing and better yet thanks for reading my blog! As always I hope you are inspired and motivated to live a Happy Life!

God Bless

Livelove

&

Carryon

Had to use this picture because all the lopsided cakes I look up were, what? PERFECT!!! Go ahead and try it, type in Google search, ‘Lopsided Cakes’ grrrrrr they were adorable!!!! Lol oh well be happy!

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Peek a Boo…I see you

Have you ever had a clear vision of what you want? Maybe you want to be a millionaire, or debt free, or maybe neither, but something even bigger, than monetary value! However, everytime you stay super focused on your vision, peek a Boo I see you, out pops your paradigm?

This happens to everyone. The best thing is, you can recognize it as ‘fake forecasting,’ once you realize where it is coming from.

I entitle it, forecasting because that’s what it is, a forecast or prediction of the future. The negative feedback is just past events creeping up.

For example: If you wanted to be a millionaire and you came from a background that was no where near a wealthy financial background, the first emotion attached to millionaire goal is probably…’How are you going to do that?”

“You can’t do that and if you could well you should be grateful with what you have and shouldn’t want more!”

My all time favorite statement (not really, but I can laugh at it now), “You know there are people that have less than you, you are so blessed!”

SHUTUP! Is what I say! Sorry, not trying to offend anyone! But someone has to say it!!!! What is life about if you are not striving for the next great adventure? Whether it be monetary, spiritual, emotional, physical or mental.

We tell our students in education, learn all you can, education is power always be of a mindset to learn and evolve. Yet, the mixed signal comes into play when anyone dreams big! Whether it be their own past events creeping into a nonrelated existing event. Or it is the people they are surrounded by.

Instead of staying to long in the vision or goal. Set time aside to relish in it. Feel the emotions you desire to feel, the exhilaration of how awesome your vision/goal truly is! THEN…when one, peek a Boo I see you, negative thought enters, STOP, SAY (nicely) Shutup and move about your day in a terrific mood!

In step by step form:

1. Feel good

2. Visualize/feel what you desire or want before you have it.

3. Subconscious or other outside forces will raise their heads only to say, “Peek a Boo, I see You. Only to place doubt in your head.

4. DO NOT argue with it, or justify why you want what you want!

5. Slide left! Or move on to another thought or conversation to avoid any struggle. (After all you control you, they truly don’t have a say. As for your subconscious saying negative things, remember it is always trying to protect you from hurt that you have felt in the past. However, we don’t live in the past anymore).

6. Next enjoy the events of now. Find the happy spot that is in the present. Expect the best is always coming to you.

7. It’s not your job to know how it’s your job to know what!

You are amazing! The next time the peek a Boo emotions show up simply reply with, “I see you too, and now you are going back to where you belong…in the past.”

Remind yourself, YOU ARE CAPABLE!!!!

Livelove

&

Carryon

What if your paradigm was wiped clean???

Good Morning!! This is my favorite day of the week!! Yes, believe it or not Monday mornings are my favorites, actually the entire day is!!! Isn’t that funny? I wish I could explain, one thing is for sure…it’s my FAVORITE DAY! As I was plugging in to my morning a Teena moment came to me! What if your paradigm or past was obsolete? Suddenly, out of no where…no one knew you and you had no recollection of anyone? What would you do differently?

Let me tell you about a little boy who challenged me everyday, yet said to me one day, “Do you know why I love you Mrs. Drake? Because you always accept me as a new me, the next morning.”

What???!!!! I think he must be talking about another teacher. Because everyday I prayed he would be a new him in the morning. And you can’t imagine how many days I thought, “I love you, but I don’t know if I can make it another day!”

I don’t care who you are, we all have people in our lives like this. Whether it be a student in your classroom or a Co worker, it doesn’t matter who they are it’s who or what you know about them.

After this thought about, your past being erased, I thought of that little boy, who believed in me because he felt like I believed in him! And I did!!!

This thought took me on a fun journey of emotions. Because I now know why that little boy said that!

I had him in 3rd grade and five years later I had him in 8th grade. Before 3rd grade began, I was handed 18 files to read and learn about my students. Their strengths, weaknesses and behavior issues. I read one!!!! (Which coincidentally he transferred out and I never had him). I closed the first folder and quietly walked to the office with all files in arms. I remember the look on our secretaries face (who I adore) when I said, “Can I have a copy of their medical files only? And any IEP’s?”

You know she wanted to say, “Are you stupid? You are holding them.”

However, I think the color still fading from my face and the weakness in my knees, explained it all!”

When I explained how I couldn’t educate effectively if I knew all the other opinions and data from their past. She was speechless. But it never did work with me!!!! My feelings were a great deal can change in one summer. There are so many factors that play into a person/students learning abilities, maturity, behavior ect… Yes this carries on with good or bad signals.

For example: That little boy was a day by day case, EVERYDAY. However, the first three weeks of school, I never knew this child had any trouble at all. He read at a 5th or higher grade level, he was loving, kind and amazing. (And still is to this day).

Then one day he didn’t come to school, then another. When he did return it was like a switch had turned on. His peers were constantly irritated with him, he would poke them, write on their papers…I mean I was in a state of grrrr!

What did I do? Funny thing is I didn’t realize it then, but now I see I did what came natural. I went with what I knew. I had built my own perspective of this child. Therefore, his paradigm to me was an intelligent, sweet, funny and kind child. I knew nothing about his past teachers opinions, his home life or his, let’s call it persistent personality, to ensure his life was as he wanted it. His paradigm was wiped clean as for me. That is why we had the discussion, EVERYDAY, “Tomorrow is a new day! You, my intelligent, well behaved, studious young man will begin again and tomorrow will be even better!”

Yes, we had that same conversation hundreds or maybe even thousands of times from 3rd grade, then 6th through 8th!

Did I change him? Nooo I do know I loved him, as a student. I do believe I helped him see a better him. And if you knew his real life paradigm, you like me, would be tempted to provide him with excuses. However, how would that help him? Or me or anyone else who might struggle with his quirky, nontraditional ways.

Ask yourself, “If my paradigm was wiped clean right now (and I was healthy bla bla bla), what would I want my new one to be?”

It is not to scare you, but just think…if you didn’t worry about the past, if no one had something to hold against you from 30 years ago (yes, people still claim to know someone even if they haven’t spoken to them in 30 years, that’s crazy to me). Not that you live your life based on other people’s opinions, just a fun little thought.

Next time you begin to become irritated with someone or something stop and ensure this is a reaction towards this particular incident and not a reaction based on the past. When you begin to live for or to feel good, life is paradise with a twist.

The twist being those small, quiet irritating moments to remind you of how you want your memories/paradigm, to be in one day, a month, a year or even years.

The pages are unwritten and you my friend are holding the pen!

God Bless

Livelove

&

Carryon

Watch “Abraham Hicks 2017 – Curing Mental Ilness” on YouTube

Wow! Fell asleep at 9 PM last night only to be awaken with nausea and frustration at 3 AM. I am unsure why however, I crawled out of bed, gathered some necessary items to calm my stomach and then laid down. Now it is 5 AM and I am still awake. 

I have meditated, blogged, tossed and turned, but nothing seemed to help. I finally decided to listen to an Abraham-Hicks on you tube. The message was so powerful I had to share with you. 

Listen to the lady recovering from mental illness! She is on a terrific path. However, can anyone identify a relatable message from one of my previous writings? Of course, it is her paradigm holding her back. She ‘worries’ about what people think. Why? Because of her past issues. This is what I was explaining…learn from the past, but do not live there.

This is a great recording! 

Life is waiting for you to enjoy. You create your own reality? Yes, therefore begin this day…this Monday morning to change your conversation about yourself. If you have struggled with mental illness in the past then leave it there. Who are you now? Not 15 years ago! Live for today! What do you have planned fun today? Anything? If not search for the fun moment throughout the day. Then right before you crawl in the bed write down at least fun or funny times you had, throughout the day. Can’t find many? Then begin planning for tomorrow. What will I do for fun tomorrow? Tuesday evening, write it down again. Repeat this until your conversations consist of how much ‘fun’ you are having. Before long all you will have to talk about is how much fun life is and how when you think it, it happens! 

  1. If others around you do not appear to be amused or as inspired, send them a pink bubble in your mind, full of laughing gas and it burst in their face. Only to force that person into a contagious laughter!
  2. Do not be afraid to tell the people you love and enjoy to be around, if their negativity or hateful words are hurting you. They may not understand at first but it won’t take long for them to catch on. 
  3. Most importantly enjoy! Be happy with the process or journey of life through finding your joy. 

Livelove

It’s okay no matter what…

I don’t care if you cheated on your diet, smoked a cig or fell off the wagon of your 12 step program. You are okay. No one is perfect and please stop thinking about what is in the past and begin to create your reality. 

Did you know your reality can only include the present or future. Meaning what is or will be is all you truly need to worry about. Even if you just took a bite of the yummy nothing bundt cake, two minutes ago and your concious mind is reminding you of how fat you are. Tell it to shut up. 

Paradigms are people, places and events from the past. They are our best way to create connections. No they are not all positive, some of our paradigms are negative. Almost like your brains defense mechanism to protect and serve you. For example: In the wonderful Disney movie Lion King the monkey or chimp (not sure the species) doctor hits Simba on top of his head, when he went to swing the staff and bang Simba’s head again, he moved. He learned from his mistake! 

Therefore, learn from your paradigm, but do not live by it. If you are struggling with something that creates feelings of anger, insecurity and despair my best advice to you is abort abort abort out of the situation. The meaning of life is to live the happiest you possible can. Expect to live in abundance of experiences, wealth, health and longevity. Enjoy. 

If you are constantly saying oh I can’t lose weight, or I can’t just feel happy or whatever your excuse is it is YOUR CHOICE. You get to decide to feel good, be happy and live in bliss. I tell people all the time this is my pink bubble of fun around me and if you make my pink bubble feel full of fun and laughter, I will grow stron ger and more beautiful. However, if you continue to criticize me (even when you are talking to or about yourself, just like if I were to say ugly things how I would really feel!) I will need to excuse myself from your gloom, doom, dark, disgusting bubble. Sorry, it’s your choice to live that way and my choice to live happy. 

Change your vibration. Enjoy, begin laughing at nothing almost similar to a fake, forced laugh. Before long, after everyone around you, begins to laugh, you will have the place rolling and anticipating in what your next move might be. 

Life is to be happy and have fun. 

Leave the past in the past! Learn from it and move forward.

Livelove

Sad, sad, sad…

Just like the lyrics of John Denver,”Some days are diamonds and some days are stone, sometimes the hard times won’t leave me alone.” 

Have you ever had moments of sadness that sometimes are difficult to shake. Some people may suffer with depression. Yet others may become sad or have anxiety due to an illness or a loss of a loved one. I understand how you feel. However, once you have discovered how to live a habitual life of happiness, joy and YOUR BLISS, those feelings will not linger. I promise those, what I like to refer to as valleys or troughs, can and will become short lived, if you want them to. 

You see according Napoleon Hill, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and countless others they all refer to changing your mind first!!! Then the outcome you desire will begin to change, creating what’s in your mind. I questioned many of these techniques for years. However, each time I receive a message to write about, I attract a short lived situation to FEEL those emotions. (Almost like a test run for you). 

Before I continue on, I want you to know, I had not experienced depression until my accident. However, I am a better person and much more understanding because of it. So am I admitting to being the person who would say, “You have food in your belly, a roof over your head and a life full of adventure and luxuries. Why or how could you be depressed?” 

Almost creating a scene for those who were suffering, to feel worse about themselves. Yes, unfortunately I was the person who said those misunderstood statements and thoughts. I admit it! Now, my eyes have been opened, my heart softened and my spirit is open and accepting. 

I admitted to those feelings or emotions to help you understand, I get it! The only difference for me is I truly choose and desire to live a happy, free spirited, blissful life. The greatest hurdle I have now is to continually reset, when I am not feeling those ‘feel good emotions.’

Yesterday, was one of those moments. I woke up in pain, felt exhausted and wanted to cry about everytjing. As the day progressed I searched for a feel good moment or wave to jump on. I complimented many people, attended a Just for Her Event, attempted to do my PT, nothing seemed to work. It was my day to feel down to remember…ummmmm nooo this is not what I choose. Then I did it! I jumped waves/frequency to a better or higher feeling. 

How? I said, “Shutup!!!!!!!!!”

Yes, I told my memory holding, silly acting, paradigm-stored in my subconscious and relaying messages to my concious mind; who continually made me question everything to–SHUT-UP!!!! SHUT-UP!!!! SHUT-UP. 

Yes, I began with a negative, but sometimes it’s needed to reset. Afterwards I laid down for just a short time, meditated, and began the evening in a much better ‘feeling’ state. I can not say it was as simple as turning on a faucet and turning it off, but I can tell you once you have lived in the now! Feeling the emotion of joy, happiness, and bliss you will change courses, reset, scream shutup to negative thoughts or emotions to ensure you experience the ‘feel good’ emotion more and more, leaving the sad moments behind. 

My advice to you is find a saying, picture, piece of art, or some other inanimated object to grab and feel the emotion as you look or hold it. I have a silly picture of my kids printed. I will look at that or search my inspirational quotes folder to redirect my focus and reset my emotional vibration. 

Other techniques I have used to reset or raise your vibration are take a short nap, meditate, listen to Abraham-Hicks, yoga, take Folic Acid and Vitamin D. I am sure there are a large variety of remedies and I am not suggesting you practice any of these, but you can ask your doctor if you choose. 

God Bless and never forget you are special and wonderful!