Tag Archives: Suicide

Suicide Survivor…How Sunshine Messages Evolved

It is now afternoon on December the 7th, 2018. I have done everything to avoid writing this blog post. I mean EVERYTHING from clean the dishes, take a short nap, meditate, I even worked out to STOP this post from being written. However, no matter what…it is what, it is and this heartfelt, deep, writing is much-needed.

Before I write any more, I must ask for your spiritual uplifting thoughts. For me as well as for you. This will be a posting that is like none other, I have ever written, but it is from the depths of my Valleys that I dare to share this story. My intentions are to inspire, encourage, motivate, and uplift you to live a full life. Not a humdrum life, but rather a spirit filled and led life. One of forgiveness, understanding, contribution, and LOVE above all else. If you will do everything in life including speak, teach, and be with LOVE in the center of your intentions, You will always LIVE and KNOW that you are loved, even in the darkest of valleys. For my part in your reality, I love you, I am so sorry, Please Forgive Me and Thank YOU! Thank YOU!

One year ago, I hosted my very first Happy Celebration! I spent the money to have food, a venue, invites, the entire ‘EVENT’ to celebrate the opening of my company Livelove LLC. I had great intentions, but as the flu reports rose and the snow began to blow, we were sure very few people would be venturing out. However, my friends, mom, and one man…did show. Therefore, the show must go on! I gave a shortened version of my speech/ seminar and the man who was ‘just passing thru’ stayed. After he enjoyed some snacks and listened intently he said, “You are on to something! Keep on telling this story. LOOK & SEARCH for people to tell your message to.”

I did not know this man it was our first encounter. He had a sweet spirit and was extremely encouraging. Later on my co-worker explained his circumstances and I dismissed the entire event. 

Until, today! I actually thought of this man two other times, throughout the year. Once was at a local pub, my husband and I visited one time, since we were back in town and the following day. 

You see this man’s words rang through my head the entire year. I would hear his almost appearing to be a plead, he would say, “Don’t quit sending out this message, you are on to something!”

When I mentioned seeing him out and about to my colleague, I was told some very sad news. This man had decided, planned, & completed SUICIDE! I began to weep as soon as I heard! 

Yes, I wept for the loss of another life. I wept for his family, children, and friends. But just as you are reading this and relating it to your own life, I was doing the same! I wept for my life! I wept in gratefulness that I didn’t follow through with my contemplations. During my deepest darkest valleys, I too could have been another statistic. Another lost soul, begging to find a BETTER FEELING. 

I can remember after my accident going to sleep at night and wishing to not wake up only to think the next morning how darn thankful… I did. I still cannot share with you all of my deepest valley times because my strength and new vibrations are focused on shining brighter. However, I can tell you I have been at my lowest…with a plan, process & all. Yet, I am so grateful I am a survivor! If you feel weak, depressed, and alone hold on tight to a happier color, a fun song or even a small compliment. You cannot imagine how many people who really do love you and I promise, “This feeling will PASS!” 

You are important to someone. I PROMISE! This particular man lost hope like so many others I know. And the truth is they themselves did not complete the act out of spite to hurt you, their loved ones. In fact, the complete opposite is true. Many survivors will tell you they did not go through with it because they feared of hurting others. Not the other way around. That means that people who completed the act, simply felt like your life was better off without them. And still, afterwards, they do not want you to feel guilty or avenge their legacy. Instead, finding your own happiness is what they desire most. Ensuring that you NEVER FEEL LESS THAN is their greatest wish. 

Fast Forward from a year ago and today. This year has been a blur to me. It has been full of changes, loopty loops, and flip arounds. As I reflect on 2018 many emotions have occurred, all beneficial. Sunshine Messages came about, close to the time the man I mentioned before, passed away. And today they serve many people. Whether they are struggling with Suicidal thoughts or dealing with other ‘life’ events. Sometimes they serve only to brighten someone’s day. 

Many people ask me what Sunshine Messages are and where they come from and my shortest version of an answer is, “As I lay in the bed day after day, I would pray for easement, understanding, & a brighter day. My heart would feel heavy for fear I was not ‘doing’ anything ‘worthwhile.’ I begged for answers. Why? Why did this happen to me? Why have you forsaken me? Was I so BAD that I must endure such torment and pain? What about him, her, or even them…their wretched ways. Yet they are allowed to carry on? Why? Why me?”

My Answer, “Because you know a better way. You understand the light and how to vanish the fright. Because you agreed to be a messenger of hope, happiness, and LIGHT! Because you were born with this gift and you needed to be reminded. Because you are you and now you see, it is time to let your visions FREE!”

My Response, “SO YOU had to break my leg, allow me to suffer, feel defeated, beaten & broken? I was on my KNEES (which hurt even more)! Begging for answers, yet nothing? My anger rises to the sky! MY QUESTIONS are SHARP and FIERCE! Hey HELLO, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ME? I AM ONE OF THE GOOD GALS? I am trying to do as you ask, but dag on how much more can I take?”

My Answer, “Not much more, be still, be patient, & LISTEN. Enjoy each person. Enjoy each moment. Only speak from your heart what your true desires are. BE PATIENT!”

My response, “Still here! Waiting!

Me, “Hello?”

Me, “Are you there?”

Me, “Am I CRAZY?”

My Answer, “Only in a fun way. LOL. You are Sunshine! You are shinning BRIGHT! When you receive the message act. When you question…pause, be still, & listen. Perfection is not the goal, because it is a label. Rather uplifting, spirit-filled, happiness, and JOY now those are the GOALS!” 

FF today, YOUR SUNSHINE MESSAGE, “YOU ARE AMAZING! I am in AWE of YOU! YES, YOU! YOU are just like me, you are chosen to live a life full of joy, laughter, happiness, and love. Ask for what you desire. Live enjoying the blessings no matter how great or small! If you are struggling at this moment…feel the emotion and ask yourself ‘Why do I feel this way?’ I guarantee it is something from the past. Isn’t it time to LET IT GO? Not you or anyone else can reverse the past to assist us with the present! Goodness, everyone would change something if they could, instead think of how you want to feel tomorrow? How do you want to be treated? What does your life look like tonight, tomorrow, or next week? Guess what? That vision will come to fruition. If today is not a good day, hold on tight because tomorrow will be better. Perfect? Define it? If it is unachievable, then by all means, change your vision around until it fits perfectly with you! 

If you are like Teena and many others who are Suicide Survivors, take time to be grateful for this moment. Dwell on all the Beauty in your life that you would have missed had that Valley time ‘got you’. You are beautiful! You are AMAZING! YOU need to SHINE! Share your story. Ask someone if they need a little boost. Send out love for others. And take care of yourself too!

Thank you for allowing me to share this message with you! Sending you relief, awareness, understanding, love & a great deal of laughter. Because life is about having fun & DO NOT FORGET THAT! 

I attended a seminar about the prevention of Suicide a week ago and I learned so much. However, the most important lesson I have learned is, If you are worried about someone…ASK! Ask the question, “Are you okay? Are you suicidal?”

Lesson learned! 

Livelove

&

Carry On

Sunshine Messages/Teena Drake

 

 

 

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Watch “First Attempt Nonedited, Sound Bath” on YouTube

I truly am in awe of my new found skill set. I took these pictures and created this video, but the best part is I produced the music!

When I first sent this to my dad he asked about the pics but didn’t realize that was my music. I laughed and said, “It wasn’t about the photos that was My music or vibrational pleasing sounds.”

I recognize there needs to be some editing done, but I felt like someone needed for me to share!

Without further blabbing from me…go ahead and click on my first attempt at assisting you with happy vibrations!

While you are there subscribe to my YouTube channel so you won’t miss my next recordings!

If you are feeling UGH or at the end of your rope…please I am urging you to realize we all have cruddy times but I promise if you will hold on…one more minute this too shall pass!

Livelove

&

Carry On

Copywrite and written by Teena Drake

Livelove.teena@gmail.com

suicide? Suicide? SUICIDE?

This picture is on a house boat with Darion Drake and Matt Reed, when they were little. Although his memory will always live on, his physical form was taken from us. Why? Because he couldn’t see a better way! Isn’t it time we show others, there is always a choice. A choice to live. If life feels ‘too much’, pause, breathe and hold on…THIS TOO WILL PASS!

I will never ever forget the moment, I received this crazy phone call! “Teena, Matt has killed himself!”

I rubbed my eyes, cleared my throat and asked,”What? Did you say Suicide?”

“Yes, he is gone!”

(This is not a posting to upset anyone, but it needs to be written!)

I woke Eric up and we both broke down and began to sob. Heart broken, angry, hurt and deeply saddened were just a few emotions, we were experiencing.

You see this was extremely unexpected, because Mathew had been through this exact same horrific experience, with his older brother. He was a teenager and it happened right before his birthday. So you can imagine why we never thought Matt was capable of repeating the event.

However, sadly he did! Leaving his sister, mother and nephew with voids, never to be filled.

Let me tell you about Mathew Reed!

He had a spirit of LIVING! He loved cars, helping others, his family (especially his wonderful nephew). He was a ball of energy. Always willing to lend a helping hand and he could make you laugh until you peed your pants!

At his visitation, I heard the same thing over and over again. “Why? He was such a great person. Why?”

I wish I could answer such a simple question, as to why? But I can’t. Instead, I want to illuminate his life and hopefully help someone else. As I write, in almost ALL of my postings, NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE PAST! I, nor you can reverse what has been done. Yes, you can receive strength to carry on, but once any act or deed is done, it is done.

However, I do believe, my loving Mathew Reed and I can help someone. Someone who is hurting, contemplating and feels stuck.

You see IF we could have stopped this, Matt would probably be preparing for a fun filled night of hanging with his friends. Texting me at midnight to just wish me Happy New Years and laughing about all the crud he has been through. However, none of those events can or will happen.

Sad? Yes! Change it? No 😔!

Learn from him? Definitely 😎!!

If Matt could speak to you right now he would say, “Hold on. Pause. Breathe Deeply. And LIVE ON!”

It’s okay to feel…anyway you want to feel. But please continue to remember, ‘This too will pass.’

I love you Mathew Reed and will continue to send out your message.

God Bless

Please, I beg of you, help me to help others. Tell someone today, that no matter what, it’s going to be okay. It will work out and this to will PASS!

Livelove

&

Carryon

Www.livelovellc.org

Livelove.teena@gmail.com

To my friend in a valley…

You are okay!

Yes! You are okay!

Look up, look up, LOOK UP!

My friend who is looking down…

Look up! Feel the warmth beaming in

The valley is for healing & nurturing

While here, look around & heal

Enjoy your nurturing friends

Bask in the sun like a sleepy cat

Heal, repair and rest

Be grateful for the valley & all it is

Now it is time to LOOK UP!

Your new journey is coming up

Now is your time to plan, heal gather

For the funfilled, scary (at times), road

The road – back up on the crest

Leave your worries in the valley

The nurterers will dispose of them

As you stand up to begin the journey

Inhale & exhale & smile

For it will be fun & as long as

You are following your bliss

Your next valley will not be so deep!

(Notice what punctuation sign is missing?)

More Determined than EVER!!!!

Today we say goodbye to our sweet God son Matt Reed. Although my heart is hurting for our loss, it hurts even more that I couldn’t help. Suicide is a difficult act to understand, what were they thinking, how could I have helped, was I not paying attention? The questions race through everyone’s minds when this kind of tragedy occurs.

For me, losing Matt in this fashion creates even more determination. I am determined to provide anyone who wants to live a life full of happiness, laughter, love and understanding, I will share all I know and learn.  

My promise to you is to provide you with the proper tools to create a journey filled with whatever you choose. Yes, all of us have tragedy, sadness, negative energy, or incidents beyond our control. However, YOU decide how you live life. Begin today!!!

Each time you feel terrific today write it down. Not necessarily in sentence form. Title it feel good or happy moments, then write them down as they occur. For example: 

MY HAPPY PLACES: 

  • Camping
  • Listening to oldies music on river with loved ones
  • Salon
  • Driving
  • Making love
  • My front porch
  • Writing

As you can see the list is to help you be aware of the ‘happy’ people, places, or events. These do not stop all negativity, but they definitely detour those events. 

If I were to line all the people I know or who I am associated with, who committed suicide, I know without a doubt each one would say, “I wish I could take it back. I didn’t mean to hurt the ones I love!!! I simply did not see any alternative.” 

You see anyone who chooses to take their own life was not thinking how will or do my loved ones feel. Many entitle it selfish, but I can’t. Instead, I choose to use misinformed. Not enough information on who, what, when, where, why, and how to seek, find and enjoy their own happiness!!! 

Life is meant to live!!! Why not choose to enjoy the journey? Will every moment be perfect? No! However, keep allowing, visualizing, accomplishing, setting goals and focus on feeling TERRIFIC!!! As long as you create a habitual way of living in the vibration of ‘being happy’ you will always stop, think, feel the bad feeling then quickly switch your emotions to a better vibration. It can be as quick as a snap of your fingers. Each time I feel down and out I quickly find a pen and paper. Writing is my quick way to change emotions. You will find yours! 

Take time out of your busy schedule today to pause…pause for suicide victims, pause for the loved ones who have lost someone to suicide. Next find a happy thought for you and share it with the world! Post it, photograph it whatever it takes find the feel good vibration. You can actually help all who have been affected by this empty feeling by teaching others there is an easier way and it is much more fun. Teach yourself and loved ones how to find their own happiness, share what you have learned.

Sadly, I can’t bring back the ones we have already lost! However, I am determined to teach others how to carry on. You can help!!! Glorify your loved ones who have taken their own lives by helping others to make a happier choice!!! 

; until we meet again Matthew Reed I will continue to pray, smile and share the knowledge of enjoying life. God Bless You!!!

Carry On and Have Fun!!! 

Livelove 💖💖💖💖💖